“Porter, what are you doing here on a school night?” she asked as she leaned over to kiss my cheek. I missed her. As much as she infuriated me on a regular basis, I missed her genuine goodness. I allowed Jodi to control how much time I spent with my friends, opting to spend time with hers and it never seemed as if the two were able to be combined and I sacrificed my friends to avoid fighting with Jodi.

“Hey Al,” I responded “I just came out to hang out a bit with Kit. I was leaving when you came in. You just missed Angie having a full blown tantrum. I swear your Earth Daughter becomes more like you daily.”

“Damn, not sorry I missed that. What got her pull ups in a wad?”

I had to laugh at that comment…so Alice. “Tina made her leave the park before she was ready. They came and got some food to go. I held her while Tina escaped into Kit’s for some peace. She was fine when they left.  How is everything going with you?”

“Things aren’t bad. Becca and I are taking a break but I guess it would be more newsworthy if we weren’t since we take so many breaks. Anyway, just chugging along. Where is Jodi this evening?”

I guess I knew that question was going to come up but I really did not want to have to stay for hours talking about it so I just mumbled something about her working on one of her pieces and Alice went with it. We visited for awhile and when the crowds picked up, we both left to go get ready for our workdays. It was good to just hang out with her. It was good to see her in such a better place since Dana’s death.

When Dana died, I saw a part of Alice die also. Their love was so complicated yet so simple. They did not see what we all saw and that was they were each other ying and yang. They only seemed to work well when they were together but when together; they scared the pants off one another and retreated to the safety to being apart. When Dana got sick, they finally were able to see that they truly belonged together but by that time, the time they had together was already numbered. Alice stepped up to the plate and cared for Dana with more love and compassion than I thought possible of a human. Had they been able to have time together after Dana got sick with their new found knowledge, I do believe that their love would have been a force to be reckoned with but instead, Dana decompensated, fought hard to no avail and died leaving a very broken Alice with so many unanswered questions. As time has passed, she has once again found herself although she has not committed to anyone in a relationship. She and Becca seem to go on and off frequently but it seemed to work well for both of them.  I believe that she knows that Dana loved and treasured her and that initially is what helped her to go on living but as time passed she saw more regrets of the what ifs as opposed to cherishing all the good. She is finally becoming the new yet old Alice again in that she jokes, picks, gossips and enjoys life. It is a beautiful thing to see.

I guess thinking of what Alice will forever miss with Dana is one of the catalysts for me realizing that Tina is really and truly my true love. As much regret that I have, I still have time to try to make amends for my misdeeds whereas Alice can only go to a spot where Dana’s ashes are spread and talk to a spirit. I don’t know what I would do if Tina were to die without ever knowing all of my regrets. Hopefully in time, it will all be on the table to be dealt with in whatever fashion it should be dealt with.