Part 8-

Bette had left the CAC promptly at 4:55 pm. When she pulled out of the parking garage it had been a light rain, but by the time she got home it was a steady however it became a heavy rain making the skies a deep, dark grey. Stepping out of the Saab into her driveway, Bettes knees nearly buckled underneath her, as her throbbing aching ***** jumped into an even higher gear. It had been slowly (but was acutely present) growing in intensity all day. She was barely able to concentrate on her work; feeling thirsty and over heated, she methodically drank the entire jug of delicious tea that Kit had brought her this morning. It was 5:20 pm and Tina would be there in 40 minutes, she only had time for a quick shower. A quick COLD shower, which did nothing to alleviate the ever-escalating condition that her body was going through. Stepping out of the bathroom she noticed that Kit lighting some scented candles, to finish up the preparations for the dinner. Thank God, she had picked out what to wear last night.

She wanted to make a very good first impression as the new and improved Bette and hopefully impress Tina at the same time. Her instincts had the old Bette written all over them. The old Bette wanted to run out and buy something new, expensive, and sure to knock Tina off her feet. The old Bette fading into the new and improved Bette was willing to compromise on a power suit that was in the closet but one that Tina hadnt seen before. However, the part of Bette that knew that none of that would impress Tina at all, if anything Tina might actually turn right around and walk away, this time forever. So, Bette spent 2 hours going through her closet; eliminating all her power suits, avoiding anything that would reek of the old Bette. Coming onto 4 possible outfits, she weighed them all carefully but equally. Gauging which was the one was the least about control and ego. And only one made the final cut, it was her African Princess dress she wore to her and Tinas sperm party after finding out that Seans ***** was no good. With the accompanying sandals that were comfortable and did not add to her statue-risqu height.

Tonight was about letting go of her ego and control; tonight shed admit to Tina that she is a small, weak, and selfish woman. That she was the lucky one. That she was wrong for ever hurting Tina. Shed confess to now knowing, recognizing finally, all her dark personality traits because she was now really trying to work through them in therapy. That she wants to be a better person. Knowing that the old Bette was so ingrained, so used to being in the fore front, That she knows that itll be a slow process; if, not for the rest of her life. But, itd all be worth it if, just to make Tina happy. Bette would work hard; learn to be patient, and to continue to be able to look honestly at herself. That itd all be worth it if Tina were to come home and take her back; that shed spend the rest of her life trying to make sure Tina never had to doubt their love ever again. To show Tina everyday and in every little way that Tina was the most important person (or thing) in her life. Bette did not want to waste precious time that could be used for new and happy memories; on trying to make-up for the last 4 years. No, Bette wanted to mark those as just being history, not that she wanted to forget them. Those years were meant to be learned from. Fail to learn from history and history is doomed to repeat itself. Failure was not an option. It was time for Bette Porter to FINALLY grow up.

At 5:54 pm Kit entered and admired Bette, crossing her fingers, hugging Bette and telling her she loved her. Wishing her luck and with that Kit disappeared into the night.

It had taken Tina 9-3/4 months to anything again. That first 6 weeks were filled with pain, anger, and sadness. At some point, she just went numb. She threw herself into working at the Center. Taking on whatever project that Oscar had, working long hours. Shed arrive early (just barely dawn) and stay late into the night, day in and day out. Never taking a day off, only eating when Oscar or Esai would place food before her. She would barely sleep at night, having the restless dream every night. It wasnt until about 2 months ago, prior tonight that she collapsed from nervous exhaustion. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks. Every one had sent cards, flowers, balloons, and stuffed animals. Oscar had made sure no one had contacted Bette. Bette never knew. It was a promise that he had made in silence to Tina. Knowing the situation and Bette was why Tina had worked herself into this state. A psychiatrist on staff came to see her after 8 days and came to see her twice a day for the rest of her stay. She couldnt make Tina continue to come see her involuntarily and Tinas condition did not warrant having her temporarily committed into the psyche ward. However, Tina being the person she is, was more than willing to continue seeing the shrink.

Coming in 3 times a week, after 2 more weeks Tina had even cut back to a regular Mon-Fri 9 am to 5 pm work week schedule. She did her homework, working through her emotions. It was 4-days earlier that she realized that not was she still in-love with Bette, but that she always would be. In that moment of realization, it also dawned on her that she wanted to be back with Bette. That unless shes back in their home, in their bed, and in Bettes arms (or at least having Bette next to her) shed never get a good, full night of restful sleep again. And now that she thought about it, ever since she and Bette moved in together, if either one of them was out of town overnight that she never had a decent nights sleep.

Great! How do I sleep next to her and ask her not to expect to be able to make love to me; or at least until I feel like I can trust her, again. Trust her again? That will take a lot of work on both our parts, especially Bettes. Who am I kidding, I am totally and utterly, helplessly in-love with Bette. I can not be without her, Tina thought to herself.

When Bette had called her yesterday evening and asked her over to dinner to discuss Tina considering the possibility of maybe taking her back. Tinas heart responded for her immediately, having recognizing something different, something more mature about Bette. Something worth investigating.

She spent most of the day trying to relax, but after Kit brought that scrumptious tea this morning, her body and mind have been in tune and plaguing her with memories and fantasies all of Bette. The fire in her loins grew steadily, and increased with urgency, like a forrest fire that burns out of control. Tina had taking a cold shower in an failed attempt to ease the ache between her legs as she prepared for the evening. She dared not attempt to manually release some of the pressure, fearing her heart would inevitably break, as she would hear herself crying out Bettes name, as she did every time she masturbated since first laying eyes on the woman that her heart belonged to now and forever.

As she stepped out of the shower, reaching for her towel, she had to steady herself using the towel bar. Keeping her from crumpling to her knees, as her arousal increased 10-fold and hit her like some wave washing over her.

She slipped into the outfit she had picked out last night. She wanted to impress Bette but wanted to make sure Bette knew that there would be hanky-panky. A decision she was seriously reconsidering.

It was not quite yet a driving rain, as Tina stepped out of her car this time she was leaning with her arms sprawled over the top of her car and drivers side door; keeping her from ruining her skirt. The wave that came crashing down on her threatened to drown out all rational thought. Danger dancing on the edge of jumping Bettes bones as she opened the door. Regaining her senses, standing up on weak and wobbly legs. Tina straightened out the outfit she wore on the night of Go fishing in the pound (as Alice so affectionately referred to it) party.

Managing to get to the safety of the porch, she shook out the umbrella, she layed it to the side before ringing the door bell.

Bette had been admiring the impeccable work that Kit had done. Reading the note about the tea.

It should be ready to serve, that is if Tina is prompt as always, Kit had wrote smirking. Okay, so Kit had put the tea on to boil early and had added 4 instead of the minimal 2 drops and it had been sitting for 15 minutes by the time Kit left-5 minutes before Tina rang the doorbell.

Bette had just finished pouring the tea and placing the 2 handless cups next to each setting when she collapsed onto her knees. It wasnt even until the door bell rang that she was able to regain the awareness of her surroundings.

The throbbing, desperate, soaked centers increased, infinity, with the space in between them decreased. It took all the will power they had to concentrate on not jumping each other on first sight. How they were going to maintain it through dinner was beyond them.

It had been 10 and a half months (give or take a day or 2) since the night of the Provocations Opening; the night that Tina had discovered the truth about Bette cheating on her, the last time she had ***** of any kind (including masturbating) was that night. Ever since then she hadnt felt the stirring of her libido; *****, she didnt even want to feel it.

Sure Bette had a release that day with Candace, but it was Candace and not Tina. She never knew she could feel that much horniess, that was until that night after they got home and all ***** had broken loose. Having Tina pinned faced down on the bed, ripping the dress away from Tinas body, and running her hand down Tinas body-then penetrating Tina were all major turn ons. Her libido was kicked into to an even higher gear when Tina took control. She nearly came both time that Tina bit her, except the pain kept both possible releases teetering on the edge. Tina had impaled herself on Bettes fingers, but her hand wasnt positioned right, so Bette was to dangle over the edge but not allowed to be released. That Bette was so emotionally and mentally worn-out that it left her physically unable to keep Tina from getting up and leaving; sure she layed there helpless and unable to move. Therefore, she couldnt even move her hands into position to give herself some relief.

She had cried herself asleep; just to wake up feeling so much emotional pain and sadness, leaving her unable to feel the physical pain from the scratches, bruises, and the two bite wounds. Ever since then she either been so filled with sadness or just numb to not feel a damn thing. That she hasnt had the energy to feel the horniness between her legs that has been there ever since that night.

Thats why the mojo tea had them at the point where other couples were tearing each others clothes off, as both of them stood there silently looking into each for the first time since that heart-wrenching night. It was the bright stroke of lighting that lit up the sky behind Tina, several moments later that caused Bette to be able to breath again. Tina had been staring right into her eyes, totally lost in each other, almost daring to not to be the first one to move.

Geez, it sure is coming down, Bette revealed when moving to allow Tina to enter. Not noticing it only started to really pour as soon as their eyes locked.

They came within 18 inches of each other, thats the closest theyd get for almost an hour; however, when Tina went to sit down. Bette quickly shut-n-locked the door and allowed no more than 2 feet to separate them, the most distance that would separate them for days. With one brief exception thats due just minutes after dinner.

They quickly sat on the floor around the big round coffee table in the living room that was the casual setting for their dinner. They both reached for and downed their tea feeling the temperature in the room growing significantly despite the cool breeze subtly drifting through the partially opened windows that looked out from the front porch.

Bette refilled Tinas cup first then hers. Not knowing where to start they sat their in silence. All 5 of their senses were becoming acutely aware of the others presence; making it all the more difficult to stay focused.

They both could feel the crackle of sexual tension rolling off the other, could taste the need of the other, could hear the humming of the others libido, could see the glow of sweat that was lightly glistening off the other, and finally they could only smell the markedly noticeable arousal wafting off the other. To a point, they werent even aware of their own bodies were having the same reactions.

Bette feared her ability to remain in control; however, it was her of hurting or worse scaring Tina off forever is what allowed Bette to reign in her physical reactions. For Tina, she wasnt going to allow Bette to even touch her until they have resolved some major issues before even discussing a possible future. She couldnt allow Bette to think that shed forgive so easily, almost excusing Bette of future actions, to allow Bette to think that everything will go back to status quo. That everything was going back to how it was before and that shed just keep on taking it for the rest of their lives. That was the thought Tina had to concentrate on keeping at the fore front of her mind and thoughts. But it was rapidly weakening and slipping back into the recesses of her mind.

They mustve sat there, unmoving, silently starring into each others eyes for 20 minutes before their arousals threatened to consume them. Downing 2 more cups of tea each, they served themselves generous portions of each dish and proceeded in silence, to consume their aphrodisiac laced meal for another 20 minutes; trying not to look at each other, but theyd steal quick glances every couple of seconds.

Its been 40 minutes since Tina rang the door bell and the only words that had broken the silence was a quick remark about the weather. They both had 2 more cups, that this time they savored while they ate, of the mojo tea. Still sitting in silence, their eyes locked again; the silence communicated more than any word could. The pain, the loneliness, the yearning, and finally the love. Their love, their eternal love.

Tina had watched in wonderment as a wide-range of emotions played across Bettes face and in her eyes; all born out of love. She first saw guilt, not just for the affair but for everything that Bette had ever done to hurt her. Next came desperation, a desperation to reclaim their love. Then, came the desire, a desire to learn from her past mistakes and to grow to become a better person. Finally, within all of this Tina noticed something about Bette, something better. Bette was no longer closing herself off, no longer hiding from the world, especially Tina. Bette was being real and because of this Tina fell in-love with Bette all over again; never being more proud of Bette then she was in this moment, Tina also recognized that this was just the beginning of a very slow and steady but a very incredibly remarkable process that her wife was willingly accepting and she had started all on her own. Of course, the old Bette would always be there but with time Bette will have to put less effort into caging her old, dark impulses and instincts. It was irrelevant because of this Bette before her; Tina was no longer afraid to love and trust Bette again, completely and with her entire life. In this moment, Tina forgave Bette absolute.

Bette watched as Tinas face contorted into various expressions that made clear exactly what Tina was thinking and feeling. First, anger and pain were obvious as memories and too many un-confirmed, or even denied, scenarios of her affair shot through Tinas minds eye. Then, her wifes face softened into bewilderment and searching, as Bette was sure she was studying every little movement and glimmer in her eyes. Hope a new, finally seeing this smile light up in Tinas eyes but did not quite make it to her face as it colored itself again into a very un-guarded expression of desire.

Bettes own hormones gripped her loins so hard in that moment, that the old Bette (she had been trying to keep caged) broke-free and threatened to run rampant, to never be caged again; the same old impatience flooded over her. Thoughts of taking Tina right there washed over her. She felt herself raise up onto her knees, her right hand reaching out and run up Tinas left check forearm, shoulder, up Tinas neck, to hook her fingers behind Tinas ear with her thumb to stroke over the length of Tinas cheek bone. Then, gripped and pulled Tinas face towards hers as she leaned in. It was like it was happening all in slow motion. She was within inches of Tinas face when she was able to regain control of the old Bette. Stopping abruptly within an inch of kissing Tina; Bettes hand fell away from Tina, pushing herself up into a standing position, whirled around, and with ever increasing wobbliness tried to make a haste escape. Unable to get more than a few feet away, legs slightly bent as her upper body lurched forward, Bettes arms shot out to catch and brace themselves against the nearest pillar, of her homes work space (opposite the dinning room table); Bette stood there with her right leg rigid and straight, her left slightly ahead of her right was bent forward a tad. She leaned her head against her forearms as they kept her steady and balanced against the pillar.

Ironically enough, Tina had not been frightened by the old Bette on the loose, especially since she was what the old Bette was after and 100% focused on. *****, she welcomed it. It was almost a slap across the face to watch the new and improved Bette re-emerge; putting the old Bette into her cage. After the initial shock, she realized Bette was scared of hurting her again or worse yet that she would leave and never look back again. She tried to grab Bette by the arm before she could run away. Lurching forward and coming up with air. Tinas left hand hit the floor, extending her fingers out to balance herself, she felt it; pulling it out of instinct she noticed it was a black, leather satchel. Seeing that Bette needed a moment and really wasnt going anywhere; curiosity got the better of Tina and she opened the full bag. She was momentarily wide-eyed at the contents of the bag. Wondering if Bette had planned for the best, most wonderful out come for tonight. Looking up at Bettes back, she saw it was silently convulsing indicating that Bette was crying, scared and perhaps a little ashamed for her actions. It was in this moment that Tina knew without a doubt that Bette did not plan this; much less knew about the satchel and its contents.

Knowing what had to be done, what NEEDED to be done, and why. Tina hastily took advantage of the very first thing her eyes saw and sat a course of action that no one could set asunder.

TBC.