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Valediction (Two/Three)
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Dana
Autumn is my favorite season, September being my favorite month. Something about the leaves just starting to change colors, the comfortable cooling, seems so hopeful after the sweltering aridity of August, with its heat swells and the parched quality of the air. It seems like it’s burning your lungs from the inside out when you do nothing more than sit. I haven’t been able to decide whether it’s some form of good luck or one of fate’s cruel "ha-ha, you’re dying" whims that the worst experience of my life is happening in my favorite month. I guess I’ll never know, although I’d like to think that it’s luck.
That’s what Alice says, anyway. She thinks that the simplicity of the numbers on the calendar will make it easier for me to endure this torture. I wish it was that easy, I really do. That sounds self-pitying, doesn’t it? I suppose it won’t make much sense to anybody, since I’m the one who insisted on doing the chemo in the first place. Well, I guess that’s not a hundred percent accurate. Alice was insistent, at least at first, but after she caved I was the one who wouldn’t let it go.
I’ve always found it strange and somehow wonderful that the great majority of the pain we feel respectively comes from some instinctive attempt to spare one another of suffering. I knew she was for the chemo only so I wouldn’t give up, and then she thought it through and realized that it wasn’t fair for me to go through it without suffering. On the other hand, I was against it so strongly because it always hurts her so bad to see me that way. Still, after I’d thought about it, I knew the agony she’d go through watching me die, and if my attempting to fight it off would make it any easier, even a little bit, that’s what I wanted.
We argued about it a little, of course, because that’s what we do. It doesn’t mean we love each other any less; I think people find it strange that we bicker so much and are still together. It’s always been that way, though, and it’s the times when she doesn’t argue with me that I know something’s really wrong. Eventually, that’s what she did about the chemo thing. We’d been going in circles about it for days, and one night she just threw her hands in the air and told to me to whatever I thought was best. I told her that there was no "best," and that was why it was so hard.
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I wanted to stay in my happy place and I was really reluctant to read this story. The fact that it was written by you, persuaded me and I’m glad I did. Even though I am crying my eyes out right now, I’m happy to know thatDana spends her last days with the love of her life and is surrounded by her friends. The story captivated me so much that, after reading it, I realized my music player had been playing Akon with I wanna f*ck you on repeat (don’t ask me why). So I’ve been listening to the most unromatic song while reading your immensly moving story! Weird huh?! Anyways, looking forward to the wedding chapter (and looking less forward to the part where we have to say goodbye to Dana).
I cant express how amazing I thought that was, you’ve got me crying my eyes out. Your writing just blows me away. If I’m crying now I’m gonna be so much worse next chapter but I know its gonna be incredible. You are so unbelievably talented x
hey, I just caught up with this. What can I say? This is one strong piece. I’m kinda speechless. Like some other readers here I was getting choked up while reading some parts. The proposal for example and so many more. I’m glad you decided this to be 3 parts, cause seriously, I couldn’t take more of it, since I know what’s going to happen. AND I’m glad you decided to not put this storyline into your other story. Cause that’s my happy one. And you better be updating that fast, lol.;)Great work.
Fantastic piece of work – so sad, yet so happy, looking forward to more very soon.
i don’t think i’ve commented on any story in months but after reading that chapter i couldn’t NOT comment! you literally had me choking on that lump you get at the back of your throat when you’re fighting off tears. i did managed to hold off the tears until the part about alice and the group going to pick fresh flowers. that’s when i completely lost it! you’ve written your version of dana’s cancer story so beautifully. this story it really gives “bittersweet” a whole new meaning. thank you for giving us danish lovers something so precious. i can’t wait to read the final chapter
Wow!I can’t stop crying I can’t wait till they get married
OMG I’ve not cried so much in a long long time…It’s a sad story butits done in such a great way…..I need to get the hankies out for the next chapter I think! PPS
WOW…Okay I’m totally tearing up at work, but at least I am watching The View in the background which is making me laugh…WOW WOW WOW…this is so beautiful! (BTW I do love my job, just a rough time in the industry). Your writing is amazing! Just simply amazing! I have a feeling when the final chapter comes I will need at least a bottle of wine and a box of tissues.
Beautifully sad. Simple as. You have a gift for writing that stirs up emotions I didn’t think were possbile while reading a fictional story. :)
Beautiful as always.
I totally can’t comment on how amazing that was so I’m not gonna even try.xx
wow. seriously, wow. im so not a crier, but ive been bawling since page 3. i just wanted it to end so that i could stop weeping, but i also wanted it to keep going b/c its that fucking good. i bow down to u muted :)
I echo everyone above – this was a sublime read. Oh! and I blame you for my brief but eww moment of nasalingus.