After the “circus” was over and the house empty except for a sleeping Angelica, Bette opened the door to the bedroom. Which was now only hers. It was a couple weeks
after Tina’s scattering of ashes and suprisingly Bette held it together. Though things were a little different around the house, that but also how Bette herself went about living her life.
Like that early morning when Bette saw a man run nude across the street, people looking at him laughing and the police chasing, it was hilarious. Bette had laughed for the first time
in weeks. But in her fit of funnies she hooked up her cellphone and hit Tina’s cell number, she was eager to share such a funny scene. Then Bette remembered, and turned off her
cellphone. She planned to buy a new one.

 Or during the night when Bette flung her arm to what was once T’s side of the bed. It felt lonely, that’s what it felt like. She had Angelica but Bette knew that was different. It was
strange not having someone to whisper secrets to…secrets she whispered only to Tina. That was an intimacy reserved to people who have been together for a very long time, to
people who knew each other well. One could not know another completely, but Bette came close. Now she held these truths tightly in her heart.

 However humans are adaptable and Bette was no different. She soon got used to making all the meals, to showering alone, to doing their own laundry. She missed
standing beside Tina brushing their teeth giggling when eyes met in the mirror, she missed the easy flirting, the touching. Above all Bette missed the touching. It was something
that she had gotten used to for so long that it’s absence was glaring, like a deprivation. Not a touch between mother and child but the knowing touch of a lover.

 Bette had to re-learn recipes. She copied T’s cookbook onto her own sheets of paper, typing them up on her computer. she printed the pages and stapled them together,
even hole-punching and putting each page carefully into a baby-blue duotang. Bette wrote “recipes” on the front in her usual bold capitol letters and put it in the drawer below
the kitchen sink. Often Bette consulted this book, cooking meals Tina made with Angelica by her side. Soon the pages were smudged with fingerprints of chocolate and sauce.