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The Thawing of the Ice – Chapter Thirty-Eight
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“I love you.
And I mean it.
You will be fabulous in Paris.
And then I’ll love you even more.
Always, Bette.”
And though she knew that “I love you” was not the same as “I’m in love with you”, she read the words every night, wanting so desperately to hear Bette’s voice. She had seen Bette’s email in her inbox, but she’d refused to read it. She wanted to be strong and hopefully right some of the wrongs of her past.
It was never too late.
Was it?
At fancy parties, she forced herself to study the physiques of beautiful women. Though she held several long gazes, none of the beautiful smiles could touch her soul. None had the same full lips, dark eyes, and soft honeyed skin as the woman who captured her waking thoughts.
She’d even had a surprise visit from her mother who’d heard that Helena was in Paris on business. Peggy Peabody had swept into Helena’s suite with a twinkling smile and watery eyes shining like brilliant diamonds. Her mother had been proud of her. She’d wrapped her arms around Helena and they’d shared their first meaningful embrace in years. They spent the evening in Helena’s sitting room, nibbling at room service and they’d ended the night with Helena being grateful that her mother agreed to unbind her inheritance, yet diligent in her commitment to her job and to Jai and to proving her worth to Bette Porter.
Bette.
She’d left the woman with the beautiful smile out of her update to Peggy. The important thing was that she was making her way in the world. A week in France and she’d already neared closing with her clients and had made connections with a few more promising leads. Jai had been ecstatic with her progress and she’d moved like a natural. The upper echelon of art buyers was intrigued by the style, grace, and knowledge of the Peabody heiress. They were enchanted by her.
Her mother’s praise had been golden. It was well-received and it eased an ache within her that she hadn’t known she’d been feeling. It felt good to be on the receiving end of “I’m so proud” rather than “I’m extremely disappointed”. Yet even after the warm hugs and even warmer champagne, she’d bid her mother farewell, climbed into bed alone, and re-read her note from Bette.
Part of her hoped that time would speed up and that she’d be back in LAX at any moment. But then she thought through the moment of her reunion with Bette. Would Bette even pick her up? Would she and Tina both pick her up? How could she stand to see them in love? After that kiss, how could she pretend to be happy while standing in the shadows?
Surely Bette would want her to move out. They would want their space. They needed to rebuild their family.
Where would she go? What could she afford on her salary?
She’d made a promise to herself to live on what she earned. At least for the next year or so. She liked feeling independent and self-assured and she wasn’t willing to let the Peabody money erase that good feeling just yet.
Her future seemed gray with its absence of Bette. She knew that she had to move on and not rely on that beautiful smile, but the knowing wasn’t enough. It didn’t quell the ache to look into those smiling brown eyes or pull those full lips close to her own.
She had a few more days to get her head together and she promised herself that she would succeed.
She had to.
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now more than ever i’m sure that this is going to be a heartbreak for tibetters…as much as helena will try to give bette space and time to reunite with tina, it seems that their hearts already had chosen each other…this story is really makes me feel for all 3 women…if it’s Belena who wins in the end, i hope Tina will find happiness too
Except for her regret and sorrow for past mistakes, I don’t think Tina has much for them to build on. Bette and Helena seem faced toward the future. This must be like Tina’s worst nightmare. I wonder what “horrible things” she did and that she’s with holding from Bette? Are they dealbreakers? Thanks!
Well being a TiBetter at heart I´m not sure the best solution would be for them to reunite at this point. There are far too many unresolved issues between them and distrust. Bette feels safe and happy with Helena. Let her explore that- Thanks for this amazing story.
she didn’t read the email…the suspense is killing me…PPVS!!!
Come in, Helena! Read the email! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to know what it says. I do!!! LOL! Don’t sell yourself short, girl! You are just what the doctor ordered for Bette. Hurry back home so you two can fall in love and live happily ever after. =)
The way Bette & Helena’s situation started & has continued is hardest for me to wrap my head around. The main problems I’m having with this whole scenario is the deception & lack of honesty. It seems to me like Bette hid their entire friendship until she could no longer do so & Tina started to ask questions. But she still hasn’t divulged that she loves Helena. Why be so deceptive & secretive about someone you love? How much longer is she going to wait to tell Tina she loves Helena? Bette should let her know already. It’s been almost 2 months. Tina deserves to be aware of the fact that Bette has developed feelings for Helena. Especially since Bette knows Tina wants to work things out with her. I don’t care about either coupledom. Honestly, they all need to be alone for a good while. I just wish Bette would do the right thing. As I’ve said before, I just want them all to be happy without causing one another pain. There’s been enough pain to go around. Stop that cycle. Thanks for the story.
LuHstrous wrote: The way Bette & Helena’s situation started & has continued is hardest for me to wrap my head around. The main problems I’m having with this whole scenario is the deception & lack of honesty. It seems to me like Bette hid their entire friendship until she could no longer do so & Tina started to ask questions. But she still hasn’t divulged that she loves Helena. Why be so deceptive & secretive about someone you love?” … LuHstrous – I have the same questions and a theory… My feeling is that Bette and Helena don’t have a pure heart or a clear conscience about what attracted them to each other in the first place. They were trying to pass this relationship off as a ‘friendship’ when it’s pure and simply a lustful attraction. If they’d had sex the first time they went out together I think that would have been a more honest response as to what is really between them. A sexual attraction would be more believable between two former enemies than the idea of them becoming best friends and each other’s world after just a casual acquaintance. Bette had her intentions when she moved Helena into her house and denying the real reason is why they have the secrecy. If they were truly bonded as ‘best friends’ I think Helena would have been proud to tell Peggy about Bette, and Bette would have had no qualms about telling Tina, Alice, Kit and Shane. They are only complicating things by mentioning the ‘L’ word at this stage in the relationship. I’d like to think they will work out as a couple but I’m very doubtful. They might be able to last for a while if they remain reclusive and never venture out to socialize with friends and family – but how they are in public will be the real test of their strength as a couple.