Chapter 8

Holding Shane’s heart in her hands. Carmen got up from the bed and tried hard to breathe regularly. She ran her fingers through her hair. She stared absent-mindedly at the desert road outside the window. She paced the dark, silent room. She tried hard to breathe regularly. She washed her face and paced the room, again. She tried hard to breathe regularly.

You know that, don’t you?, Shane’s husky voice repeated into her head, and Carmen rested her back against the wall that separated her room from Shane’s. Her body slid down and she sat on the floor.

…At this point, there is no other place where I belong, Shane’s voice echoed into Carmen’s mind and her hand fiddled with a couple of buttons of her shirt. There it was, that choking feeling, that sudden incapability to breathe.

She felt Shane’s presence beyond that wall. A few inches of concrete and bricks divided them. Just a few inches of cold, impersonal concrete and bricks and yet Carmen could feel Shane’s heat irradiating through the wall, hitting her body like an electrical shock.

”That old black magic has me in its spell, that old black magic that you weave so well.
Those icy fingers up and down my spine
That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine…”

Beyond that wall, Shane had unbuttoned her shirt and unfastened her suspenders, and now they were hanging loosely down her hips. She tossed her unknotted tie on the bed, in frustration. She rested her back against the wall and slid down, sitting on the floor. She put her hands on her head and then pressed her palms against her eyes, sighing heavily.

She felt hot, dizzy, confused, desperate but, at the same time, happy. Her heart was absorbing that new assortment of feelings in a very bizarre way. Shane felt guilty and her conscience was dirty, but at the same time every single cell inside of her screamed in joy. It was like a gospel choir. It was like a hangover, that feeling she was experimenting.

That feeling had a name, a sound, a taste, a shape, a scent, and all of her senses were alerted, all the time. And she felt Carmen beyond the wall.