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    The Starting Line: Chapter 3

    Story written on August 5, 2007 by kdknight.
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    16 votes, average: 2.81 out of 516 votes, average: 2.81 out of 516 votes, average: 2.81 out of 516 votes, average: 2.81 out of 516 votes, average: 2.81 out of 5 (16 votes, average: 2.81 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 4070
    Story Shortlink: https://mail.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=66449
    Author Notes:

    Shane’s past… getting to know Bette

    Walls… They are tricky things. Defences. We all have them. Doesn’t matter if you grew up in suburbia or the streets. Little nuclear Beaver Cleaver family or just you. We all have our little nuances and quirks that dictate our actions, what we show of ourselves to the world. I’ve had this stonewall built around me for so long, I don’t really know how to get rid of it. Yet as guarded as I am with myself and what the world sees of me, I’m totally free with my body. I don’t wrap myself in layers of clothes, don’t care if the leather pants fit me like a glove, or if you can see through the shirt. But try to see through to the me inside, and you will be blocked at every turn. See, the me that the outside world saw, hell, sees now even, is this confident sexual player that no one and nothing fazes. I don’t get angry, I don’t yell. I don’t set out and look for a conquest, I let people come to me.

    I have what Alice refers to as “nipple or bush confidence”. I’m this “hub” or “solar system” in her little charted galaxy of LA. What they don’t always see is the scared little girl inside that just wants to find someone to stick around. When it comes to matters of sex, I know exactly what I’m doing. Hell, I’ve been playing that game since I was 14, earlier as a pawn in that game. But matters of feelings and the heart? Total and absolute amateur. No confidence there whatsoever. Opening myself up to someone, letting them hurt me, that scares the living shit out of me. Besides, if there was one thing that I had learned in life before these ladies came into my life, it’s that everyone leaves. No one stays. Unconditional love does not exist. Open yourself up, and you’ll get hurt. These few rules are the ones to live by. As long as you live life assuming those facts as truths, then you won’t get hurt or be surprised when that person hurts you and leaves. It was like I told Cheri, people told me all my life I’d be some psychopath if I didn’t learn how to feel. What they never realised is that it wasn’t that I didn’t know how to feel, I just didn’t let myself. Between my mom and shuffling around foster homes, and then toughening up on the streets, feeling was something I learned very early on to control, to turn off. And even though these women, this family of mine, have stayed by me and not left, I still find myself looking around myself at them, sometimes wondering when they will leave. When I’ll once again be alone.

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    Comments

    1. I always thought Shane and Bette had an interesting relationship in comparison to the relationships they have with the other girls in the group. Thanks for highlighting it.

    3. kd I LOVE this fic!!!! I too have always loved Bette and Shane’s relationship, which I have always felt is the most true and the most loving, in a most subtle way, of all the relationships. Shane was the ONLY one to be there for Bette when she really needed a friend. They appear to be on opposite ends of the class spectrum but I think they are very alike inside, and have allowed each other glimpses into that pain..that others don’t see. I also think that they would be hot together..God yes…if even only for one night…so if you are heading this way, kd, a sharing of physical love, in time…I am so here!!!!!!!!

    4. Just caught up with your previous chapters. Your writing feels very refreshing and I’m glad to read about Bette and Shane. More importantly Shane. You aren’t heavy with words so the flow is smooth and I can actually picture Shane’s mode and attitude through your words. Impressive. Bette’s character also comes through quite well (re: ‘you won’t win this argument’ look) and the contrast (socially anyway) of Bette and Shane is interesting to explore in addition to the sublime similarities of their inner selves. While I couldn’t vouch for a Bette and Shane romance (lol really, I refuse to picture that myself…not without coercion 8D), it would be an ingenious endeavor if you were able to work with that line. I remember reading something with Alice and Shane of this nature, though I’ve never seen anything like this (or as good) with Bette and Shane. So KD, long story short, you have me for the ride 8D. Looking forward to more.

    6. Hi here I am again. I just read this again,after my initial joy at finding a Shane and Bette fic, and realized how well written it is, how Shane is written with such nuance, and Bette being able to establish bonds with Shane, and help her, without frightening or patronizing her. Excellent fic!! Post soon please.

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