"Why?"

A simple word that rolled off tongues easily it was so common.  Three letters.  One syllable.  In this instance, the antithesis of any harmless subject matter considered not more than a minute before to ease into the discussion.

"I’m not looking to occupy or distract you with a plethora of excuses." Bette started.  "At least that’s not my intent although it may sound like so." 

She paused, and took a breath.  "As I muddle through…this." 

Tina’s eyes followed her hand as it gestured to highlight the space between them.  An action that signified everything they had been through.  Inclusive of the gap in their present.

"I don’t know if I can answer ‘why’ and all of your other questions to satisfaction." Bette continued slowly.  "But you deserve my sincere effort to do so."

Setting expectations before emotion took hold over the existing calm she admitted quietly, "Though it may not be enough."

"Okay."  Tina said softly in return.  Nodding her encouragement.

She heard her former lover’s vulnerability seep through the words that positioned everything that would follow.  Believing she would be able to hold judgment until the end.  But emotions are almost never rational.  Frequently obstinate to forced confinement.  Especially those that clutched at the very core of one’s being.

Upon clearing her throat the brunette went on. "I should have tried harder during therapy."

"For you. For us." 

"To be honest, that may never work for me."  She clarified, perhaps unnecessarily.  Her position seemingly made clear before.  Confessing to their son she was doing it out of love for him. "Involving a third party."

Bette looked at the table between them.  Reminding her of a time when it was clear how Tina managed to quell her fiery insistence.  One that at times went beyond reasonable expectations.  An indentation that marked the piece of interest, one that was hardly noticeable, the source of her ire many years before.

–

"No."  The definitive tone was delivered over the phone.  She’d been abrupt with the service representative randomly assigned to address her call.  "It needs to be replaced."

The argument continued.  Interrupted only when she was put on hold at her request for a supervisor.  The pause allowed Tina to spare a thought.