“Ok.”  Alice said weakly.

            “My friend Alice first.  I got my test results back today.  I have a nerve that is being pinched and that is why I’m in pain when I run or jog.  There is an operation that can fix it it’s a 50/50 chance that I’ll be as good as new afterwards.”  Dana stated, looking at the thoughtfulness in Alice’s eyes.

            “What’s the other 50 percent chance of?” 

            “Paralysis below the waist.”  Alice sat back stunned and shocked.  She can’t do this.  Everything she’d worked for would be lost.  But it already was; wasn’t it.  Dana couldn’t play tennis, her first true love.

            “You can’t do this.  What if you can’t walk anymore!  Dana no!”  Dana put her hand up, and then said,

            “Now what does my girlfriend think?  Do you think you could live with me in a wheel chair?  Dependent on you?  If the pain gets worse, that is what is going to happen.”  Alice looked at her she rubbed her face, her mind a jumble of emotions and thoughts.

            “I think I want you whole!”  That was true but even if the accident had left her paralyzed, she’d have still loved her as much.  “Let me rephrase that I want you.  You’re ok now.  Why tempt the fates?” 

            “The pain might get worse or not and  Because I don’t feel whole.”  Admitted a soft spoken Dana and Alice realized that she wasn’t.  It was why she’d been so different before, tennis, winning and being good at what she loved had been Dana’s driving passion since she’d been 5.  It had been ripped from her and she didn’t know how to re-channel her energy into anything else.  How could Alice deny her the chance to be herself again? 

            “You’re best friend thinks that you have to make that decision.  Your girlfriend on the other hand.”  She paused, trying desperately not to cry.  “Thinks that if you need to do this to get back on track and that we have a shot at making this whole thing work, then do it.”  Dana moved to the other side of the couch and hugged Alice, who started to cry.  “Dana I cannot lose you.  I’ll take you any way I can get you, but just don’t let me have to live my life without you in it.  As your friend or your lover…”  Dana pulled back and looked into her eyes, smiling and kissing her softly.  Alice kissed back fresh tears flooding forward and as she cupped Dana’s face.