Part 12

The escape… in the mirror

It sounded as if Jenny would regret what had happened and that she would turn back the time, if she could – like I would…

„I’d like that too.” I whispered. Jenny looked at me „what would you like too?”

„Turn back time and undo everything.” I said hesitantly, I had the feeling to have completely misunderstood her.

„ But, Tina, why do you think I wanted to turn back time? No, I would not like that. Everything what has happened had to happen that way and it was good that it has happened. It was good for me, good for Tim, for our life. What do you think, how it…, how we would have ended, if that all had not happened? One day we would have awoken, lying next to each other in our age-old marriage bed to realize we wouldn’t have anything to say to each other, that we wasted our life with a dream that was not ours, that we felt a longing in us, which we cannot seize into words that we should try to break out of this life. What do you think, how we would have been ended up?”

„Well, I don’t know, Jenny, but I understand, what you mean. I regret what happened with me and Bette and that I didn’t try to stop it. Do you never regret?”

Jenny shook her head „Never… Look, don’t get me wrong, today I would surely do some things in a different way.” Thereby she smiled hardly noticeable. „ I wouldn’t hurt Tim that much, would talk to him about everything. I wouldn’t let Marina go, wouldn’t let it happen what she did to herself, would find a solution with her, and would tell her that I love her. But it just wasn’t like that Tina. I didn’t know back then, what I know today. So the only thing, which I would have to regret, is to have been stupid. But honestly, can you really say that? I mean then we would have to regret our whole life, because we have always been stupider than we are today. We always would run after stupidity then and that would be probably really stupid, don’t you think so?”