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The Dying of the Light Part 9
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Finger prints in ashes, burned.
Toned shadows loom, beyond reach. Beyond reason.
She was a child born of love, once, she was sure. That soon died.
Did her father not love her mother enough to stay faithful? Did her mother not love her father enough to stay?
Was it her birth, the mere presence of her existence which tore apart the love. Is it her fault?
She wonders, but is too afraid to ask.
**********
When Helena returned home that afternoon, she found Bette fast asleep on the daybed, her sketchbook open on her knees and charcoal loosely grasped in her hand.
Intrigued, Helena picks up the sketchbook to look at the picture. The serenity of the beach is haunted by a figure, completely in shadow who is looking at a woman and child, building a sandcastle in the distance, both bathed in light.
The use of shadow and light intrigued Helena. She didn’t realise that Bette not only hung art, but could create it. It wasn’t something that was talked about with their friends at all, and she suspected that Bette liked it that way. Contrary to what is often believed, Helena didn’t think that Bette enjoyed being the centre of attention as much as she usually was.
Placing the sketchbook on the table, Helena carefully removed the charcoal from Bette’s fingers, noting a few small smears on her shirt and the blanket behind her. Quickly Helena tided up the area, packing her painting and art supplies under the table. She wondered where they had come from, knowing that Bette couldn’t get out and drive. A question for a conscious Bette.
With care Helena removed the blanket from behind Bette, covering her up. “Sleep well.” She whispered, moving out of the room quietly.
Knowing that it was unlikely Bette had eaten much during the day, Helena decides to get started on something for dinner. “Something easy, that she could feed herself.” She mumbles to herself.
**********
Sitting at the Planet was boring Alice, there was no one her to rightfully distract her from her work. Shane was still away with Carmen, Bette was sleeping, Helena at home, Tina was; she wasn’t actually sure where Tina was. Despite her anger at Tina she actually missed her. And Dana was… Dana wasn’t coming back.
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I just found your fic, have read all the posts, and literally was so enraged by what Tina has done that I couldn’t even write to tell you how wonderfully you evoke that rage. You have written Tina exactly as I have always seen her, one in whose world no one matters more than she does, and her feelings are the only ones that matter. It has always been apparent to me that Angelica has been the prime weapon to hurt Bette with for the affair, and that she has never taken one ounce of responsibility for her part in the destruction of their relationship, and for everything that she did afterward. It is apparent that no matter what Bette does, she can’t win, with Tina screaming that Bette didn’t want a family cos she worked all the time, not adding that Bette was supporting them, not adding that Bette was working her ass off, while she sat on hers, and then screaming that Bette didn’t care about Angie cos she wouldn’t support her, even though she was taking care of her at home, not just doing nothing. What has never been made clear in the show or in the fic, is that Bette did take her for a day and a half, and returned with her, and did file for sole custody, but FILING IS NOT GETTING.. Bette wanted to have legal protections, but thats all it came to, as tina has them, and used it against Bette in the worst possible way. Now she sees what she has done to Bette and she is still filled with her poison, still wanting Bette to pay for the affair, for not being and doing what Tina wanted when she wanted it, for whatever, still being the eternal victim. Now when she has nearly killed Bette, she is telling her what she needs, and just coming without warning Bette, and demading they talk, when she still doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Bette’s feelings, and so on. I can’t see how anyone could say Bette is being hard on tina..to me tar and feathers wouldn’t be hard enough, for what she has done to Bette and Angelica. i want to know why she has started the adoption now..cos Bette was nearly dead? After saying she didn’t think that Bette even loved Angie or would even miss her? I sincerely hope that this turns out to be a Bette and Helena fic, and not even think of reuniting Bette and Tina,but at any rate, you do bring the emotion,and the description of Bette’s pain is exquisitely devastating. Bette needs to get angry now, one way or another, and let it out. JUSTIN…it’s called punctuation! Look into it! LOL
If Bette was smart,she could be nicer to Tina. She has gone out of her way to let Bette see Angie, The anger on both party needs to come out. Bette should stop and think why she didnt have a wife,and a friend It must have been rough on Tina Bette being . so Alpha,keeping Tina in her shadow. all the time.but Tina let her do it. There is no good or bad guy her both are equal in this, the only thing Tina has Angie. Let Tina tell Bette that she talked to Joyce about Angie and letting her adopt her. thanks
this anger needs to be gone quickly….thanks for this wonderful story. pps
Wow you have some long comments on this story, a mark of a wonderful story. I have always actually tried to look at both sides of what happened. Bette did cheat and Tina also had some rather destructive behavior, but both were responsible for their destruction. I also think, in the end, that Tina did take some responsibility for her part in things. In this story, she clearly wants to talk, but perhaps timing isn’t meant to be. They BOTH need to put their differences aside and understand that being they both played a part in breaking them up, they also need to play a part in forgiveness. Excellent story, I’ll be waiting on your next post!
they must let the anger go it takes so much energy to house it. PPS
Dee… my most amazing friend… Once again you have just blown me away with the sheer intensity of your emotional well… I think it is a good thing that this anger is coming out… it needs to… for both of them… I think that Bette is being a little hard on Tina right now… but also Tina has to realize it isn’t on her own clock… she should be willing to give Bette the space she needs or she will risk putting Bette further and further on the edge… right know Tina needs to respect Bette’s distance and need for it… she should call and leave a message and not just show up… she has no right just showing up… give Bette the chance to make her own decisions… give Bette a reason to believe she might have her daughter back… yes Tina did make the call… she could have easily left a message for Bette to give her the heads up… talking face to face isn’t going to be easy so she might need to step back and communicate at a distance until Bette can trust her again… leave Angelica with Bette… if you are afraid that Bette will hurt her or run make sure someone you can trust is there like Helena… it is so easy to be a cheerleader when I have someone so talented and inspiring to cheer on… hmmmmm… if only you could make this a Belena story cause you handle them so beautifully LOL… keep up the amazing work… you are an inspiration… love and hugs, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angels and ever Proud Cuzzie to the ever talented and inspiring Eunichick)