“What about…”

“John dated others, discreetly. He knows better than to make a scandal out of his flings but clearly he can’t even do that,” she added softly. “You were my first.”

“First?” A light bulb went off in Bette’s head. “You mean I was the first person you made a move on?”

Barbara smiled sadly. “I never carried out our arrangement. It was a win-win situation, but only in theory. I couldn’t bring myself to actually do it. Flirted with lots, but I never met someone who could draw me in. Until I met you.”

Bette was shocked silent. Her heart raced, and she knew Barbara could feel it, too. “I didn’t know.”

“For all my bravado, I just couldn’t do it.”

“You must think I’m a horrible person,” Bette said.

It took awhile for Barbara to realize what Bette was referring to. “You made a mistake but you rectified it. That’s all I need to know.”

“I’m not sure if Tina ever forgave me for cheating on her.”

“Have you forgiven yourself?” she replied. “It’s in the past, Bette. Knowing what you know now, do you think it will happen again?”

“Have you forgiven your husband for cheating on you?” Bette asked.

“Yes.” Barbara’s frank answer intrigued Bette. “You haven’t answered me.”

“No, I know it won’t happen again.”

“Why is that, Bette?” she guided the conversation toward lighter ground.

She took a deep breath. “I know where my priorities are.”

“And what are your priorities?”

“Fishing, aren’t you?” Bette smiled. “Angelica, work.”

“What about Tina?” Barbara asked evenly.

Just as quickly, her light mood disappeared. “Tina will always be in my life, on account of Angelica.”

“You said you still love her.”

“I do. It’s easy to forget myself in my fantasy of being a family with her and Angelica,” Bette said sadly. “It’s funny, because I felt that I had moved on. My heart, however…”

Barbara tried hard to keep her jealousy in check. It would do her no good if she made a big deal out of the issue. “What does your heart tell you?”

“My heart says it’s ready to accept someone new. Someone who is my equal,” Bette lowered her voice. “I just can’t seem to convince it Tina is not that someone.”