By the time Bette emerged – freshly showered and wearing jeans and a baggy sweater Tina had cooked bacon and scrambled eggs for them – as well as lots of toast.
“Brilliant “ Bette said and rewarded Tina with another kiss as she sat down on the sofa and put the tray on her knee with her food. Tina’s plate was on the coffee table with a newspaper in front of her. Bette started on her food as Tina ate and read. Bette watched Tina – they had slipped into a routine so easily – just as easily as they had slipped back into one another’s lives.
“One good thing is that we haven’t killed each other when we have been getting your new place sorted “
Tina looked at Bette “ I have come close “
Bette laughed “ I know  “
“ I know you like things spot on but “ Tina paused “ I want to be able to do things myself. I know I suck at putting emulsion onto walls”
“We did well getting it out of your hair “ Bette was still grinning
“But – this is my first place and I am so excited that I will finally be independent. I know I had my own room as college but this is different. This is grown up stuff”
Bette did understand – this apartment meant so much to her as a statement of her new adulthood.
“Adults don’t throw screw drivers “ Bette said teasing Tina
“This adult does “ Tina replied. Bette burst out laughing
“Not many couples can say their first big row was about a blanket box “
Tina shook her head “Smart ass – do you know how fucking annoying you can be ?”
“I have been told it more than once “
“Good because I would hate for it just to be me who thinks it “
Tina started laughing – it was good that they had decided the whole thing was a joke because that argument had threatened to get out of hand. Bette was still laughing – she stopped to eat more toast and scrambled egg.
“I know what it means to you and I am sorry that I rained on your parade a couple of times  – you know what a perfectionist I am “
“I know – and its part of who you are and I do make allowances for that” Tina shook her head “I guess it was a dumb argument and you would have done it better and it wouldn’t look so amateur “
“It doesn’t look amateur but when you get settled – take the lid off and put it on properly because one day I will end up getting up at 3am to do it – you know my foibles “
Tina nodded “I was planning to”
They ate for a little longer in silence.
“I know how lucky I am that dad is doing all this for me and you have been amazing – getting off night shifts and going to the apartment to help me”
“Nah “ Bette said “ Its been more to see if I can point out where you have missed with your painting”
Tina laughed “ I know that as well  – but I don’t give a rats ass – its my apartment and I love it”
“I know and its cool – its much bigger than this place and its so central – its going to be handy when we want to go to the movies “
“And its close to so many theatres – we could see if we could get cheap tickets”
“I know – that’s going to be good – I have a lot of studying to do – you know there are going to be nights when I am going to be snowed under “
“At least the night shifts have ended “
“Yes -and I am very happy about that – I don’t think it was helping “
“You have handled it better than I thought given what a brown bear you are “
“I have been tired a lot and all night sessions with the hottest lesbian in New York have not helped my tiredness “
“All night sessions with the hottest lesbian in New York and me – that is a punishing schedule “
Bette put her tongue out which made Tina laugh even more “ Jackass “
Bette said and picked up her coffee
“We are doing okay aren’t we ?”
“Yes – of course we are – you have doubts ?”
Bette shook her head “I am so happy that I have you back. I missed you for four solid years”
“I missed you – tell me something – did you think about contacting me ?”
“Yes – all the time but we had agreed that things were going to be hard enough without us staying in touch. It had to be a clean break “
Tina nodded “ For what its worth I agree that we did the right thing not emailing or anything. But there were so many times when I all I wanted was to see your handwriting or see a text from you or – well anything really. It would have tore me apart though  – we were right. But I so wanted to know that you were okay and that you were holding it together – I – don’t know if it would have made it easier to know you were struggling too “
“if I had found out you were missing me – I would have lost it totally”
Tina nodded – she understood – she also knew that no one else did. Her college friends had all wanted to know why – if she loved Bette so much she didn’t stay in touch electronically
“My friends all said – well as soon as you were away from your mother you should have got back in touch with Bette – they rather dismissed us as a couple – until the other night – that freaked them – that we had got together again “ Tina said
“I guess we are all or nothing types – if I couldn’t see you all the time then the odd letter or email wasn’t enough for me. We did the right thing – I know its left scars – scars that are still there but it was the right thing”
Tina nodded and got up from her chair and joined Bette on the sofa after taking the tray and putting the used plates and cutlery on it and moving it to the kitchen.
“I don’t care if no one understands – we do – we know what went on- we know what would have happened and we did the right thing – just like this is the right thing”
Bette took Tina’s hand and kissed it
“Do you still expect her to do something to try and split us up ?”
Tina nodded “ I do – I don’t know what – she cannot throw me out of the apartment. What else is there ?”
“Money “ Bette said
Tina looked puzzled “Money ?”
“She could try and buy one of us off – we both have loans – not huge ones because of our parents but we still owe money to the government and will do for a few years”
“Would you take the money ?”
“No – there is no amount of money that can replace my feelings. Nothing would buy how I feel when I see you for the first time in the morning – or how I felt two months ago when I saw you for the first time in four years or how it feels when we kiss and make love – there isn’t enough money in Fort Knox to compensate for those feelings. She can try and I don’t think either of us expect her to just welcome me with open arms – but she will try something – we both know that “
Tina swallowed back tears – she put her arms round Bette and kissed her
“You are something else – you really are “
“Is that a good thing ?” Bette asked innocently
“You damn well know it is.” she kissed Bette quickly taking over the kiss and making sure that Bette was in no doubt just EXACTLY how Tina felt about her. When the kiss ended they were both slightly out of breathe – Bette took a deep gulp of air and stroked Tina’s hair
“Maybe we are making her the ogre here but she’s not going to welcome me to the family and she thinks us getting together is a backward step for you “
Tina smiled “No one is good enough for me – not in her eyes. They came to drop me off once and my girlfriend at the time came out of the halls to greet me. God she got the third degree from mom – they didn’t get on – let just say that and for weeks mom kept asking me if I was still seeing “ that Dianne creature “
“Creature- what was wrong with her as far as your mom was concerned ?”
“Well apart from not being royalty or equally blue blooded – maybe she was a little butch for Emma’s taste”
Tina knew that this was bothering Bette and she hated that – maybe she needed to tackle her mother – something that wasn’t going to come easy but it did have to be done. She knew Bette worried about the whole mess – and Tina wasn‘t going to let that old bag come between them a second time.
She pulled Bette close and kissed her again
“Listen to me Bette Porter . She is not going to come between us – she has precisely no power over me any more. Tomorrow I get my own place, I am earning money – not much but enough to feed me and pay for the bills at my new place. I will get a better job – I know I will – we both will and then we can go on holiday and I can see my girl in a bikini again cos that really turns me on “
Bette smiled “I knew you were just interested in my body “
Tina kissed Bette on the ear lobe and whispered “Well  – can you blame me – what a fucking body you have – red hot. Nothing is going to stop me having that body as my own personal sex slave “
“Sex slave ! “ Bette said grinning
“That’s the very thing “ Tina replied “ Emma has nothing that I want. She won’t stop me seeing Kate and eventually she will give in just for Kate’s sake. I know her  – she acts the big bully and all that crap but she will give Kate what she wants. Her problem is I am al little too much like both of them – that’s why I always got my own way which is not healthy”
Bette stroked Tina’s hair and held onto her
“I don’t want to lose you babe”
“You are not going to   – Emma cannot win because love – the sort we have for one another – that’s something no one can kill. She thought four years apart would kill it and its just made it stronger”
This was the first time either had said love- Tina knew how she felt and she did want to tell Bette but there was something that Bette was holding back and that somehow made Tina wary of saying it and freaking her girlfriend out.
Bette had tears in her eyes
“Bette ! “
“Its okay – god you are just the best “
“So are you “ Tina replied “And what we have is just going to get better and better – love is the best antidote to hate. Nothing can break that – it’s the strongest force on the planet. If more people loved there would be less killing and less violence – we cannot change the world but we can make our lives better – its all going to be alright “