Fan Fiction
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Scorpio Rising 3
Scorpio Rising 3
Ch 4
I’ve looked inside
But I have never wandered in
I’d like to pull it into me
And intercept you in between
But I never wandered in
That way I’ll always stay away from you
The universe is breaking us down
“Is she hard to get along with?”
“No.”
“Does she respect you?”
“Yeah.”
“Does she care about your hopes and fears?”
“Yeah…”
“Does she love my little boy?”
“She loves him so much. It made her more at ease, calmer…”
“Does she love you?”
“Hmmm…yeah she does…she loves me a lot a lot…”
“A lot?”
“Yeah… and I really love her……………We shouldn’t be talking about this…”
“Why not?”
“Because you are dead…”
“I guess you are right….how are we different?”
“It’s the little things…the things you like she does not. And the things she likes…well I am not sure….I feel like I know her more…”
“…I figured as much….”
“So how are you….really? I mean what is heaven like?”
“It’s fluffy and warm….and green and serene…I miss you so much….I look at you sometimes…sometimes I have to look away…I am glad you got out of that life….it was gonna kill you. One day. “
“I feel torn.”
“I know you do. It’s your way. You where always so serious…except when……. You know…”
“Yeah I know…”
“Is she better at it than me?”
“You mean in bed?’
“Still with the questions for answers….god I miss you….but yeah in bed…?”
“She asked me the same question about you…”
“I like her style….she certainly dresses better than I did.”
“You think so.’
“I do. So is she?”
“You want the truth…?”
“Yeah I do…?”
‘It doesn’t matter you know…’
“I know, I just wanna know…”
“Carmen you are unreal.”
“… I know…so…”
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(19 votes, average: 3.74 out of 5)
“Don’t talk to me about logic and reason when you go to the grave of a woman who is standing right in front of you.” that was such a great line. i’d have to say this is my favourite of the saga. it feels more real. because they’re actually together and it’s not just outbursts of emotions back and forth for the 3 seconds they see each other. i’m glad shane didn’t give in. when shane was contemplating on what to do, i was like yea… none of those are gonna work and then you write that speech and it’s perfect. love the dream talk with old carmen. so many things in this update that i loved. this is probably my favourite update of the saga thus far. i guess that’s saying a lot but it’s true. sorry this is so long. keep it up. do you like new order? maybe? say yes.
Whoa, a happy, cute update? Sort of…Wow, sometimes I need that. This story is so real, I think you captured Shane’s torment and conflict when she was torn between two women that she loves. I think that my favorite part of this saga was The Line Begins to Blur. It was the beginning of something great, and so raw and different. But I love all aspects and parts of this story. I’m looking forward to more!
Sheer PERFECTION. I’m totally at a loss for words. THANK YOU!
“Don’t talk to me about logic and reason when you go to the grave of a woman who is standing right in front of you.” lol love it!!!!!!!
This gem blew me away. I cannot for the life of me unscrew the grin on my face, lol. I loved the sexual torture, I live for that. But I loved Shane’s strength even more and this chapter was just perfect. WOW. HOT. I have to read it again. Keep up the good work.
That was one hell of an update! The insecurities of Shane and Carmen came to a head and you did a great job of fleshing it out! I love this whole saga but if I had to pick the best installment I would go for the first one that started it all, it drew me in and I have been riding with ya every since. Keep up the good work!!
Grounds keeper: You are not one of the creatures of the night are you? Shane: Not today. — Hmmm, for some weird reason I have the sudden urge to read Night Returning. Straaange. LOL I could actually picture Shane winking at the audience on that one.
Go Shane! I was actually pleading w/ her to not give in to Carmens sexual ‘torture’. She definitely had a Zen moment. I loved every part of this saga but to pinpoint one of the best & happiest moments for me had to be when Shane realizes & see’s that Carmen is alive. Although I suspected something might be wrong w/ her I didn’t care I was just thrilled that she was back. I also love the fact that their relationship is so tumultuous, whether it be their fighting or the adventures they face together. Its one hell of a story, that I always look forward to reading.
great update cant wait 4 more
‘everywhere i look, youre all i see, just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be’ Love that song!damn! ive missed out on so fucking much! a brand new part of the story ive loved so much! this is absolutely great NDF! i always knew you had it in you! my fav story was ASATS but i feel compelled to change my Fav story to Scorpio Rising. this is just one amazing piece of writing… ‘slow at first when we move… slow at second…’ Woman!! WOW is all i can say!! my eyes were popping out and my jaw dropped! lol this is really very great, and fuck it broke my heart when carmen said “Baby…tell me…tell what to do and I will do it….” all of that emotion, that incredible outburst of feelings. absolutely Amazing NDF!! youre truly hitting an entirely new dimension with your fantastic words! Keep it coming babe! we love you for it!
I love that whole conversation with ‘the old Carmen’, its a great closure. And I am also glad she talked to ‘the new Carmen’, its now a new beginning, but it is scary that I know this happiness wouldn’t last… because you are you… please make it last a chap or so, before you bring in the drama? Please Please Please ~~~~~~~
I would have to say this is my favorite part of the saga because I totally was not expecting you to continue. I love the battle Shane is going through between the two Carmen’s. She has to let go of the old Carmen to a certain degree and let life take it’s course!