Scavenger Hunt – The L World Gone Mad 2 ~Katey471~

“Let’s get our ass in gear!” Alice said, thumping Bette on the back, and she said.

“I’ll have your woman back to you in once piece, tits and all.” Bette snapped her jaw shut as Tina waves at her, fingers wiggling as Alice threw an arm around her.

“I am so going to beat them.” Bette said, and Dana sighed, reading her and Shane‘s list.

“Where the fuck are we going to find ‘Yak Manure’?”

Alice overheard Dana and thought, “Ha! One team down! Candy from a baby!” She ran up to Tina who was going over their list with a confused face. “This is ours! You understand me Tit…I mean, Tina! We are taking this! It’s in the bag!” Tina continued to read the list and without taking her eyes off of it said, “I don’t know Anus…I mean, Alice! Some of the stuff on this list is pretty obscure!” Alice respected Tina‘s ‘tit for tat’ (no pun) and said with a smile, “Read it off to me! Come on, what do we got sister?”

Tina: “This is so stupid…ok, Yak Manure, which I can only assume is shit from a Yak…”

Alice: “Done! I’m all over that one! What else?”

Tina: “What do you mean you’re all over that one?”

Alice looked around to make sure no one else was listening as she leaned in and said,

“Indian Bazaar! Right in Weho! They carry everything. Believe it or not I’ve seen Yak Manure on the shelf in there. It’s used as a fuel. So, come on…what else?”

Tina smiled and said, “You never seize to amaze me Alice!” Alice blushed as she said,

“Oh Tina, if I had a nickel…”


Jenny was just staring at Bette as Bette went through the list. “Ok Jenny, it looks like you’re with me! Count your blessings because I happen to know where we can get Yak Manure! So, that’s one down!” Jenny just smiled up at Bette and said, “Bette, I really, really, really, really hope I can contribute and prove myself useful to you in this game. I’m usually not very amused by this type of activity!” Bette just stared at Jenny. See, Jenny only seemed to be articulate when she was in the middle of writing a new poem or an equally ridiculous story. Truth was, in her off time, she could barely speak using complete sentences. The seasonal seriousness of Jenny‘s verbiage and pronunciation was starting to creep Bette out. To break the ice she simply added. “Um, yeah! Me too Jenny! Because you see Alice over there?” Jenny finally broke the ‘Wednesday from the Adams Family’ glare she had going on and looked over at Alice, who was huddled in close to Tina, going over their list. “Why yes Bette! I see her!”

Bette: “Well good Jenny, because if she beats us…I’m going to get very angry! And when I get very angry Jenny, I just LASH OUT at the first person I see! Do you hear me Jenny? Do you GET me?”

Jenny smiled and looking back up at Bette simply said, “I certainly think so! You were so forthright in you’re description…” Without letting Jenny finish her thought, Bette gave her a quick but forceful slap to the back and said, “Good! You’re in charge of the list! I’m driving!”


Shane was checking everyone out as Dana continued on reading the list. “Holy shit Shane!” Shane continued to look around as she said, “Yeah Dana I know, Yak Shit!” Dana looked up and said, “Is that what that is?” Shane laughed and walking over to Dana, put her arm around her shoulder. “Do you really want to do this Dane?” Dana looked around confused.

Dana: “What? The scavenger hunt?”

Shane: “Yeah Dane, the scavenger hunt! Do you really want to spend the day doing this?”

Dana smiled with the indecision of a child. “I don’t know, not really! WHY?”

Shane reached in her pocket and pulling out a zip lock bag, showed it to an open mouthed Dana!


Alice grabbed Tina‘s hand and yelled, “Let’s get to the Mini!” and as they ran, Alice found herself becoming intrigued by the (Cough) bounce!

Tina: “What Alice? What are you looking at?”

Alice stopped dead in her tracks and said, “Tina, you have the best breasts I have ever seen! I mean it! Really! They’re perfectly round, not too big, not too small…down right perky! They’re the kind of tits that just stand up and salute when you walk in a room, ya know? They say, hello, how are ya? That’s a gift my friend! You’re downright blessed!” Tina started to blush as she said, “Well, thank you Alice! But, if you think mine are nice, you should see Bette’s! She has the nicest tits I’ve ever seen! Oh, what am I talking about, you’ve seen them…I’m sorry, I forgot.” Alice looked embarrassed as she put her head down. “Well, actually Tina, I’ve never seen Bette’s.” Tina was a bit taken back but figured Alice was just being polite. “Al, it’s ok! I know you dated… I’m not jealous or mad or anything.” Alice looked up at Tina. “No! Tina! I swear to God! I never saw them! She was stingy with them! A tease really! I did manage to see her in a bra a couple times though.”

Tina let out an uncomfortable “Oh” as she and Alice continued to the Mini. She found herself mentally counting the number of times she actually saw them in the flesh. Once inside Alice turned to her and said, “No, but seriously…please consider this for a second. I’m writing a piece on the ‘Best Tits In LA’. I want you to at least consider being a part of the story.” Tina just let out a sigh and said, “Alice, I’ll make a deal with you….”


Bette peeled out of the parking lot and said, “Ok, fuck the Yak shit! What else is on the list?” Jenny was staring out of the passenger window, lost in her own head.

(Inside Jenny’s head)
Birds, NO! Flight! I’m a desperate dove, NO! Raven! I’m a desperate Raven in search of doughy foreign tongues of….

Bette: “YO! JENNY!”

Jenny: “Huh! Oh, Bette! My apologies! I’m finding myself becoming increasingly inspired by your company! It’s quite strange. It’s like you’re becoming my muse of sorts.”

Bette: “Jenny, just read off the fuckin list!”


Shane and Dana hadn’t made it to the car. In fact, they lost their list somewhere in the crowd. They planted themselves under an oak tree and lay on their backs as Shane, looking around, lit the joint.

Shane: “I’m going to assume you’ve done this before, right? Like, you’re not going to spaz out on me or anything are you?”

Dana: “It’s a possibility! Yeah, I just might!”

Shane laughed and handed the joint off to Dana. She took a hit off of it and immediately started choking. Through her coughing fit she managed to say, “Go, goo, goo, goo……That’s good shit!”

Shane patted Dana on the back and said, “Just go slow! Go slow! We’ve got all day!” Dana had a thought! “Oh hey, we should at least get the Yak shit! Ya know, make it look like we tried!”


Alice was driving down the street and turning to Tina said, “She’d never go for it!” Tina rolled down her window and spit her gum out. “She will! I’ll talk to her! I just think you should at least see them before picking mine, ya know? If you still feel mine are better after seeing those puppies, well, then I’ll do it! I’ll be the ‘Best Tits’ girl for LA Mag!” Alice couldn’t control herself. “YOU ARE SO ON!! HA! Now read off that list!”

Tina: “Ok! The List!

1) Yak Manure! Which, we’ve got covered!
2) An Anne Geddes post card! Oh man, Bette’s gonna be so pissed about that one!”
3) Ick! A jar of pig’s feet! YUCKY!!
4) Hand cuffs! Which, I’m sure you have right in this car, so…Oh, ha, my bad…they have to be from the Pleasure Chest and still in the box! They must have known you were playing!
5) 687 marbles! Ok, that’s just weird!
6) A vibrating back massager!

Alice: “They want us to get a vibrator?”

Tina: “No! A vibrating back massager!”

Alice: “Yeah! A vibrator! Did Bette make this list?”

Tina: “If she did, Ann Geddes wouldn’t be on it! May I continue?