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    (Re)Finding our own path

    (Re)Finding our own path
    Chapter 3 – July, 28 2013

    Previously
    As her assistant closed the door, she answered the phone.
    A strange sense of nausea hit her. Something told her it wasn’t a friendly call. «Hello?»
    «Hi, Tina.»
    ‘Tina’. This wasn’t going to be good.
    «Hi, Bette.» she mimicked her.
    «Listen, I think we should meet and talk…»
    Tina gulped. «Yeah… um, I think we should. Yeah»
    «Okay, um… what if we meet at home, about six?»
    «You mean, your house?»
    Bette didn’t realized she used the word ‘home’. Something dictated by the habit. «Um, uh, yeah… I meant my house»
    «Yeah, fine. I’ll see you at six, then.»
    «Great, um… bye.»
    «Bye.»
    Tina’s body was crossed by a long shiver.
    She knew something was going on, by listening to Bette’s voice.
    What that seemed to be right in the first place, at that very moment it seemed to be so fucking wrong.


    That was going to be a tough evening.
    She hated what she was becoming. She turned into a cheater, again. Even though it felt right, awesome, heartwelming… it was still an affair.
    Bette was sitting in the lounge chair near the pool. Trying to figure out what to do next and how to tell Tina what she decided.
    She didn’t want to hurt anyone. But the only thing she managed to think about was that no matter what she did in her life she, somehow, always ended up hurting someone. ‘What the hell was I thinking?’
    She was scared. Those strong and powerful feelings were scaring her. She always loved Tina. But lot of things happened between them. They almost hated each other. They hurt one another badly. The woman didn’t know if she could handle another break up if it wouldn’t have worked. She didn’t know if what she was feeling was really a genuine sentiment or something that caught her up in that moment. She knew she loved Tina, but she didn’t know if love was enough. Trust and promises have been broken by their actions. She wasn’t sure they could make it and be able to build a new and stable relationship. So she took the easiest way…
    She was going to end this fling with Tina.
    The brunette’s head was filled with thoughts and fears. She wanted to pour herself a glass of scotch just to calm down, but she thought it wasn’t wise since she wanted to be as lucid as possible in the moment she was going to talk with Tina. So she opted for a cigarette. It wasn’t her usual habit, she quit a long time ago. But when she was upset or nervous enough, the feeling of the smoke filling her lungs gave her a sense of relief.

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