Fan Fiction
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Planet Terror: The One With Shane’s Underwear
“…cure…” is the last thing she hears before a fresh wave of pain brings her under again.
Present Day…
Helena and Alice were talking quietly when Bette woke the second time.
Bette could only grunt. This time, she moved her tongue around her mouth before speaking. It seemed fine, somehow. Less swollen.
Helena walked over quickly—though, Bette did not fail to notice the enormous bandage across Helena’s thigh.
“Someone cut me, somehow…right through a major artery, or vein, or whichever.” Helena smiled, leaning down to kiss Bette on the forehead. “You pressed your hand to it, and the doctors had to bring you into the surgery room.”
“Wha…surj—ur..” Bette’s heart began to pound. “Ba…Ca…”
“She’s fine, she’s fine.” Helena spoke quickly, but gently. “She’s sleeping right now. You got us up there first, remember? Then I was cut, or slashed, and you were bitten, repeatedly. You passed out with your hand on my outer thigh, while I held the baby. The people from the 4th floor, they had come to us, they dragged us away to safety. I don’t know how they did it, without jarring your hand away…” Helena laughed, relieved and disbelieving simultaneously. She rushed ahead, noting the fleeting looks of panic of Bette’s face. “My mother, Lara, Alice, all fine, everyone’s fine. Even Dylan and Catherine…” Then her face grew stern, amused, annoyed.
A sheepish couple walked over to Bette then.
Bette looked at them, grateful.
“We were…busy…” Dylan says.
“They were at an orgy.” Helena filled in. “And…”
“And…” Catherine’s face turned red. But then she grinned. “And…Julia Roberts is a great kisser.”
“Aikane heard us as well.” Helena said. “We’re in the hospital. And hey, Shane and Jenny are here.”
“Hey Bette.” A fully functional, and much less infected Jenny walked up to her. Bette could not believe how happy she was to see her.
Shane came up then, wearing nothing but underwear. To Bette’s incredulous and grinning face, she only shrugged.
“I had to model these…” Shane mumbled. “I have a pair for you though. Calvin Klein was part of the group that flew over here. He offered me some perks.”
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Oh dear. I should just click the “Next Post” button now to answer all these questions I have, shouldn’t I? I’ll just do that then.
i want Peggy P to rustle up a top-notch plastic surgeon to make Bette’s scars disappear.
I must be sick because I’m really enjoying this. Great update!!
As a type 1 diabetic I have a hard time imagining even a zombie sticking themselves just for fun. Courtney (or Kurt) might disagree. But it was amusing what they got for their pains. Noble of both Bette and Helena to take such drastic measures to insure the safety of their loved ones.
oh crap, i’m sorry for the editing job…i mixed up my tenses with this one. apologies to those of you who know proper grammar! and spelling…hehe, try to ignore it if you can:)
smrtaz…hehe
I don’t know what you was talking about. Grammer? What grammer? Speling? What speling?
Yeah, well….