“Don’t look at me like that, baby sis,” Kit laughed, “It’s all Alice’s crazy idea and she brought us here for the ride…I mean, moral support.”

“And don’t look at me either,” Shane shrugged her shoulders, “Alice is a mastermind and she could be very persuasive when she wants to.”

“Let’s go inside then…anyone wants a drink?” Bette offered, knowing that there was no way to get out of this intervention.

When they all settled in the living room Tina asked curiously, noticing a clipboard in Alice’s hands and a stack of papers in the folder, “Okay, Al, what are you up to this time?”

“Bette, have a sit next to Tina…” Alice replied, ignoring Tina’s question for a moment. “Now, I know what you’re thinking…”

“Well…it’s a relief,” Bette said sarcastically, “Because I can honestly say that we both are totally mystified.”

“An intervention is about helping people you love change destructive patterns of behavior or to help them improve a relationship they’ve already developed.”

Bette and Tina stared back at Alice skeptically, waiting for her to continue.

“Okay, here’s the deal,” Alice said when everyone was paying attention to her again. “You all remember that bitch Helena…well, while you were away, she stopped by the Planet in hopes…well, this is just my wild guess, mind you…in hopes to see Tina. I was alone and bored and we began talking and that snake had the audacity to try and poison me with the idea that you two don’t belong together. As I recall, her exact words were, ‘I give them another month but after that they both are going to look elsewhere for better action because they are so wrong for each other. Tina deserves someone strong and powerful…someone who knows how to really please a woman’.”

“Helena is a fucking dragon,” Bette exclaimed angrily, “I’m so going to kick her ass.”

“Count me in,” Tina said, laughing at the ridiculous idea of being with someone else other than Bette. She took Bette’s hand to calm her down that had an immediate effect on her lover.

“That’s what I told her too,” Alice smiled, watching their interaction. “The dragon just laughed and left but this got me thinking and that’s why I’ve made this incredible self-assessment questionnaire that contains one-answer questions, short essays and multiple choice answers. The two of you can fill it out together and then tally the results.”