Chapter One

"I came straight from the shop," Shane panted. Helena, Jenny, Shane, Kit, Angus, Tasha and even Max, they were all there.
"What happened?"
"I don’t know," Bette said desperately. "But we have absolutely no time to lose. Tee is nowhere to be found, so use all you have. Shane, can’t you look into some girls’ eyes and ask them to look out for her?"
"Yeah, course," Shane answered. She stood up already, but seemed to hesitate. "What if she’s in heteroville?"
Bette already had an answer to that. She turned to Kit and said: "Use all your connections, you’re straight, you do know some places?"
"I am right away. Angus, close The Planet, will you? We’re not open today. Not until we found Tina."
Kit and Shane both disappeared. Bette told the others what they could do and they all left, going in a different direction as soon as the door was behind their backs.

Bette was exhausted. She had not eaten anything since the previous day, she was so nervous and tensed that she couldn’t manage to eat. It struck her how much she needed Tina, how much she loved her. Of course she knew how much she felt for this wonderful woman and she had always known that she couldn’t live without her (she had had enough proof for that), but now she really felt how it must be like: loosing Tina. It was horrible. Where the hell was she? None of the other girls had any good news, nobody had seen her. Kit had gone any place she knew, any place she could think of, where there was the smallest chance of finding Tina. Shane had asked anyone she knew well or vaguely, but nobody knew. Tina seemed to have disappeared from the planet.
Bette was in a dark alley now. She didn’t expect to find Tina there, or at least, she hoped so. Of course she wanted to find her, but something bad must have happened if Tina would end up here. She had just needed a place where she could cry and shout.
"I love you, Tee, please come back." She could feel her heart ache, she had to surpress the urge to throw herself to the ground and stop being. She rather disappeared from earth than being without Tina. If she would disappear, that would mean she became one with Tina, in a way. And that was what she longed for: be one with the woman of her life.
"Cut the crap, Bette," she said to herself, angrily. "You can’t give up."
She left the alley and went back to the street. Her phone rang and she was about to shut it down when she decided to take a look – maybe it was one of the girls. She thought she would faint when she saw the name on the display: Tina.
"Tee?" she shouted. Some people passing looked at her, but she didn’t care.
"Bette, help, please," Tina stammered. "Help me… outta here…"
"Course, babe, right away. Where are you?"
She heard Tina say something about ‘avenue’, but before she could ask her to repeat it, Tina had hung up.
"Fuck!" Bette shouted. She felt very much like throwing her cellphone away, but she needed it in case Tina would call her back.
"Ok, the girls." Bette called all of them right away to tell them. The only one who could see a positive note was Max: "She said avenue? So that means we don’t have to go looking for roads anymore. That makes our chance to find her bigger."
"Yes, much bigger," Bette snapped. She realized she was rude and murmured a ‘sorry’ before she hung up. She burst out in tears, feeling as if she wouldn’t make it to the end of the day. Where was Tina? Why had she hung up? Why had she sounded so afraid and nervous? What the hell happened to Tee?

Sleep did not come to Bette that night either. She wanted to think about Tina, she wanted Tina to know she was thinking of her. But when she thought of her, she panicked, she stopped breating and she felt like she’d jump out of her skin of frustration, grief, desperation. She had never felt like this.
"Tee, baby, I love you," she cried. Her pillow was wet but she didn’t have the strenght to change it.
"What have I done wrong? What have you done wrong to deserve this? Where are you?"
She was talking to nobody, but she couldn’t keep it to herself. Shane had offered to sleep over, just in case something happened, but Bette had said she wanted to be alone. Now she wished she had her friends around. She just didn’t want to bother them. And Alice… Alice didn’t know anything. As if it were telepathy, Bettes phone rang and saw it was Alice.
"Hi, Bette! I heard what happened. I’m coming home straight away."
"But… your father…"
"My father died last night."
"Oh, I’m so sorry."
"But there is hope for Tina, so I’m coming home. You sound aweful."
"I feel aweful. But what about his funeral?"
"He can be buried without me. As much as I love him, I cannot be there if Tina is missing. He would forgive me, I am sure. I already said goodbye. Gotta catch my plane now, see you when I come home."
Before Bette could protest any further, Alice had hung up. It made her realize once again how very great her friends were.
She missed Tina’s presence, Tina’s arms around her body. She longed to take care of her, to be with her. Her thoughts went on and on, memories of Tina popped up in her head and disappeared to be replaced by others. It seemed so impossible, as if it were a very bad nightmare. But when she turned around and saw the empty space next to her, she knew it was hard reality.