Her eyes opened slowly, heavy from hours of crying. Bette had known better than to try and chase after her when she left late last night; it would only have made matters worse. She knew even then that begging Tina to stay would only prolong the hurt as soon as they both realized that Bette was just stalling for time.

And yet this morning, with only the pounding in her head, the house seemed so quiet. Oh god, she thought, How could I have hurt her so much? Pushing away the stale sheets, Bette reached for the phone to call Kit.

***

Oh girl, come here and let me give you a hug, Kit cooed from her doorway. She folded her arms around Bette and held her there for a long moment.

All cried out, huh? Kit said while softly stroking Bettes hair.

Bette turned her dampened eyes to Kit and then stepped away from her sister. I know you think Im cold, Kit, but I didnt mean to hurt her, Bette said as walked in and slumped down onto the couch

So what happened? Was there really someone else? Kit asked sitting down next to her.

Bette pulled her legs up underneath her and grabbed a pillow, twisting at the edges with her fingers. Candace, she whispered looking down at the pillow. Then with a quick look into Kits eyes, Bette turned away to look out the window. But it wasnt about her, it had nothing to do with her I just we just Suddenly, only the sound of a lawnmower droning steadily outside filled the silence.

Tell me what happened, baby girl, Kit said softly leaning back into the couch. Bette continued to twist at the pillow and stare out the window. I mean you never really told me what happened between you and Tina since the last time you were here crying.

Bette turned and looked at hard at her sister as Kit continued. The two of you just seemed to keep on going along like she didnt hurt you. Then she showed up all pregnant and both of you all giddy about it.

Bettes head fell.

I mean you seemed so hurt and then all of a sudden you just werent anymore. Kit squeezed her sisters hand to let her know it wasnt an accusation. And then losing the baby, I guess I thought that grief had brought you closer to Tina.

It did, Bette interrupted. Until it couldnt anymore. She pushed the pillow to the side. Without a baby and pregnancy to focus on, I guess I realized how hurt I was. How different we are and maybe that she didnt know me at all.

Kit reached up and put her arm around Bette as the tears welled.

Kit, maybe you were right that it was because I didnt let her in. Bettes voice caught in her throat. I dont know, she whispered as the tears rolled down her face.

Oh girl, Im sorry. Kit hushed her.

Well, I dont know. Bette pulled herself up after a moment, wiping the tears away. I didnt mean to hurt Tina, I really didnt, but Candace came along and I found myself so attracted to her. Bette, dry eyed now, looked hard into Kits eyes. Maybe it forced something that was just coming anyway.


***

Sliding her office door closed, Bette lingered for a moment. The memory of Candace rushed over her and she flushed. After a minute, she turned and walked out. The message tone on her cell phone buzzed. She dug through her purse, pulled out the phone and flipped it open. Half expecting to see the number of Tinas cell, Bette was surprised to see that the message was from her mom. Listening to the shaky voice on the voice mail, she stopped outside in front of the CAC and listened.

Bette, Im reading about your opening in the newspaper. Congratulations honey. Im sorry I cant be out there to see it. Call me sweetie.

Bette put her head in her hand; she felt guilty being so far away. Even after chemo had brought her moms cancer into remission, Bette now heard her mothers voice as frailer, older and lonelier when she called.

Maybe I should just take a weekend get out of LA and go visit her in, Bette thought. When was the last time I went to Philadelphia alone, she mused.

Bette?

She heard Candaces voice and her heart stopped. Candace, hi, Bette stammered as she fumbled to close her phone. The sun was streaming through Candaces hair and Bette was suddenly positive she had never seen her wearing it down like that.

I was just coming to see you, to see if you wanted to go get some coffee or something. Candace was smiling and looking straight into Bettes eyes. Are you ok?

Yes, of course, I mean noI was thinking about my mom

Is she all right? Candace asked, stepping closer and putting her hand on Bettes arm.

Yeah, basically, yes. I was just thinking I should really go see her, get away . Bette shook her head, as if remembering what she needed to say. Look, Candace, Tina found out. Bette stepped back, away from Candaces touch.

Bette, Im sorry. Are you

No stop, Im fine. I just feel horrible. I really hurt her. Im didnt mean to and I just feel so Bettes brow furrowed and her lips pursed as she stared hard into Candaces face.

Candaces eyes turned down and her voice was almost a whisper. Do you just want me to go?

Bette looked at this woman standing in front of her. Her arms and shoulders so chiseled but her hair soft around her face. No, actually. Bette reached out and took Candaces hand in hers, Im not sorry about what happened between us.


***



I dont want to talk about Tina anymore and all the ways it went wrong. Bette said setting down her cup on Candaces coffee table. She reached over to Candace. Gently she traced her hand along Candaces shoulder and down the length of her arm. Teasing her fingers into Candaces, Bette arched her eyebrow.

Well, Candace said as she leaned towards Bette and let her lips just barely graze across Bettes mouth before leaning back on the couch away from Bettes petulant hungry look. Tell me something about you then.

Bette licked her lips, Are you teasing me?

Candace smiled, No, Im just trying to make sure this can be something more than just a rebound.

In that case, I guess Ill have some more coffee then, Bette said pushing her cup over towards Candace. So why did you bring me to that hotel instead of here? Bette asked as Candace walked over to the kitchen cups in hand.

I wanted it to be special, Candace said softly into the coffee pot as she carefully poured out each of them another cupful. Was that really your mom on the phone this afternoon? Candace asked regaining her confidence after a moment.

Yeah, well a message from her anyway. She was sick for a long time and I was thinking I should visit her you know and get away for a while.

Whats she like? Candace set the full cups down and sat with her knees touching Bettes.

*****, Bette whispered, I cant even think straight when you touch me.

So tell me about your parents, Candace laughed and moved her knee. That should keep you from getting too worked up. She leaned over and put her hands on either side of Bettes face and pulled her close. Bettes eyes closed as Candace slowly ran her hands behind Bettes neck up through her hair. The skin on Bettes arms began to tingle as she wrapped them around Candaces waist. When their lips finally met, Candace lingered over the kiss, and for that moment, everything stilled except the touch of their mouths.

Candace released her from the kiss, but their lips remained inches apart. Bette, I want to actually know you.