She isn’t proud of this and she hopes that you can one day forgive her.

She slams her palm on her forehead to make the memory cease. It’s been a week since her failed wedding and she still couldn’t get the fucking memory out of her head. The memory of standing at the altar beaming and ready to go. Looking around at her family and seeing them so happy for her. So proud of her. The memory of the organist signaling the music and then having somebody stop her just as she was ready to see her soul mate.

She isn’t proud of this and she hopes that you can one day forgive her.

It felt as if the wind got knocked out of her chest. Dammit she tried to get the tears to stop falling but she couldn’t. Couldn’t help her body from sinking to the floor and letting the loud gut wrenching cries to permeate from her. She was so blinded by her tears that she couldn’t even see. All she could her was the faint voices of those around her over the loud noise of somebody screaming. It took her awhile to realize that the person screaming was her. She felt the hands on her trying to pick her up trying to embrace her and tell her everything was going to be ok.

She isn’t proud of this and she hopes that you can one day forgive her.

Was all she could hear in her ears. She couldn’t breathe but she felt the urge to run. In her wedding outfit she just ran. Ran until she was tired, ran until she passed out, ran until she blacked out to forget. It has been a week and she hasn’t talked to anyone back home. Hasn’t spoken to her family and she knows that they are worried. She knows that they are wondering if she made it back from Canada safe. Knows that they want an explanation for her disappearance. She is just sitting outside of the house that she shared with the person that was supposed to be her wife. A part of her wants to despise her, to wish that she wasn’t inside but a much bigger piece wants her to be there so she can just know why. She sneaks silently into the house and ventures into the room that they shared. She lies on the bed that is filled with all of their memories and she can still smell her. She feels as if she can still feel her presence even though she isn’t there. She begins to cry and before she knows it the heartache and fatigue causes her to sleep.