An epidemic of the disease diphtheria loomed over the small town of Nome, Alaska in 1925. A serum was needed to inoculate the townspeople but it was in short supply. Bad weather in the area kept all the airplanes from Fairbanks on the ground. Alice turned to Dana, Hey! Kind of like you sweetie! Dana just smiled and said, Oh yeah! Hey! Alice continued to read out loud. The serum was instead rushed from Nenana to Nome, about 675 miles, by dog teams. The medicine was relayed the distance in just 127 1/2 hours. Dana lowered her eyebrows in confusion. That seems like a long time Al, no? Alice lowered her book. Not for a man being pulled by dogs Dana! Picture a whole team of Mr. Ps pulling us on the Mini through Hollywood! Thats tough stuff!

Dana shrugged and leaned her head over, resting it on Alices shoulder. Alice continued to read out loud even though Dana had her eyes on the words, following along.

The Iditarod Sled Dog Race is run to commemorate the historic serum run. The race begins in Anchorage during the first weekend in March. From the first 20-day run in 1973, the times have fallen to under 10 days. After the first musher, Ha, were gonna be mushers! How fabulous is that? After the first musher reaches the burl arch in Nome, MUSHERS, thats you and me D, continue to flow in both day and night for a week and a half. Wow! At the end of the race, Nome becomes quite a center of activity. Yada, yada, yada….and then it goes on to list the activities that we can participate in once we get there. Huh!

Alice turned the book around and studied the back cover before saying excuse me to Dana and turning around in her seat, tried to hand the book to Bette who was sitting right behind her. Bette just stared at it as Tinas hand reached over and grabbed it from Alices lose grip. Tina began to read as Alice became more and more excited. Bette, you should read it! Go ahead, read about what youll be doing for the next 2 FULL weeks sister! Ha, this is gonna be so much fun! Us and our ladies, under the stars sleeping on snowy grounds in front of campfires! Itll be like camping!

Bette didnt share in Alices excitement regarding the trip. Truth was, she didnt want to be there at all. Tina convinced her that going to Alaska with Alice and Dana would be a good stress reliever! A much needed stress reliever were Tinas exact words. Bette just looked on and fought off the smile that was forming as the happy camper in front of her disappeared back behind the seat. Ya know, we should have just gone to Hawaii! And by the way, when I say we, I mean you and me! Tina flicked Bettes arm in a teasing, cut the ***** kind of way without taking her eyes off the book. It was really nice of Alice and Dana to ask us to come along Bette. I just thought it would be fun. And looking at this book, it will be. So relax…please? Bette rolled her eyes at Tina as she lifted her arm, motioning for another Mimosa from the stewardess.

Alice was still smiling excitedly as she grabbed Danas hand and nuzzled into her shoulder. She started to trace Danas lifeline with her finger as she daydreamed about Alaska, and the adventure that awaited them. While Alice daydreamed and continued to stroke Danas hand, Dana found herself daydreaming about something other then Alaska and dogsleds. Al, um! Did you ever hear of the….. Mile…. high club? The shyness in which the question was asked made Alices smile grow from ear to ear as she lifted her head and raised a vixen eyebrow in Danas direction. Did I ever hear of it? Sweetie, Im not only a Mile high club member, Im the ***** President! Lets go!

Alice and Dana both stood up quickly and as they passed Bette she said, Wait a minute, whoa, whoa! Were going to be landing in a little while….. Alice and Dana stopped, looked at Bette, and before she could finish her thought, they bolted toward the back of the plane. Bette threw her hands up and looked over at Tina who just smiled on as she watched Dana reach the bathroom, give the door a quick knock, and throw Alice in before following. The In Use sign could be heard clicking into place as Tina said, See! Now theyre making the most of their trip! Tina grabbed Bettes wrist and looked at her watch. If theres time, were going next! Bette threw her hand onto her chest. You dont think theyre….Oh my God! You think theyre…. Tina rolled her eyes. No Bette, I think Danas teaching Alice how to use a tampon! Get real!

Alice and Dana were now facing each other in the extremely small bathroom. Dana struggled but managed to get her arms around Alices waist and leaning in, gently slid her tongue in to Alices waiting mouth. Danas head tilted to the side and she let out a gentle moan as their tongues touched. Alices eyes opened.

Alice pulled back and Danas open mouth fell into her neck. Um, Dane, Dana….I, I dont know how were gonna, OH THAT FEELS GOOD!, do this sweetie. Dana pulled back and gave the bathroom a once over. She quickly said, Well, well just have to do it standing up. Is that ok? Will that work for you? Alice smiled and said, Oh, I dont mind that, but I thought you liked to see my…ya know, when we do it. Danas eyes shot down to Alices ***** as she said, Good point! They both started looking around. Dana finally said, I know! How about from behind!

Bette was looking at the Iditarod ceremonial race book as Tina kept an eye on Bettes watch. What the ***** is taking them so long? Were gonna land in a few minutes. Bette, baby, go get them! I dont want them getting caught. Bette closed the book and threw it on the tray in front of Tina. Why me? Why do I have to go? Tina sighed and said, Alright, fine! Ill go! Hmm, attitude! Bette rolled her eyes and unbuckling her seatbelt, started to make her way toward the back of the plane.

Alice was unsuccessfully trying to turn herself around so she could face the mirror above the sink. Um, ok. Let me see if…I…can…..Let me try to go this way. Alice attempted to turn as Danas hands finally made their way down to her hips. Ill turn you this way, ok? And then you throw your arms over first… Dana held onto her as Alice struggled, twisting herself until finally, after some sketchy maneuvers and fumbling, her back was to Dana. They both took a second to catch their breath. Ok…yeah, this works? Were both happy now, right? Dana smiled. Yeah, yeah, this is good! Well, I mean, I think you crushed my big toe, and you punched me in the chin, but, yeah! This works! Once Dana regained composure, she smiled and pressed her face into Alices cheek. She started sucking on her earlobe as she reached up under Alices shirt, unclasping her bra. Alices head fell back onto Danas shoulder with the feel of her hands gently grazing her back, and she bit her lip when the straps from her bra fell lightly to the sides. Dana slowly slid her hands from Alices *****, down her stomach and began unbuttoning her pants as she whispered in her ear. Alices eyes opened wide and met Danas in the mirror. ***** yeah this ***** works!

Bette approached the bathroom door with her hand up and knuckle out, ready to knock as she spotted the Vacant sign staring up at her. She looked around in confusion as she turned and noticed that the other bathroom had the In Use sign up. Huh! As Bette was about to knock, the stewardess came walking toward her from the back. Maam, your going to want to hurry up if youre using the bathroom. Were going to prepare to land soon. Bette nodded as she smiled at the passing stewardess. Yeah, I got your Maam right here *****! She figured she might as well use the bathroom before they landed, so she quickly opened the door with the Vacant sign.

Alice: Yes, yes, yes, yes, right there, dont move, dont move, right there! You got it, thats it, ***** ME, ***** ME, *****!!!….

Bette stood in horror, Dana just froze and Alice said, out of breath, What? Whats wrong? What? OH MY GOD!!!!! before reaching out and slamming the door shut in Bettes face.

Alice: OH MY GOD!!

Dana: (Whispering loudly) Holy ***** Alice!!!

Alice: (Whispering loudly) How did….! I thought you locked the door Dana!!!!

Dana: (Whispering loudly) Oh my God Alice! I swear to God I did! Maybe when we were turning you around, we knocked it open? I DONT KNOW!! (Whispering loudly) Should I stop?

Alice stared at Dana in the mirror for a good 5 seconds.

Alice: Not if you want to get your hand back, still attached TO YOUR ARMMM!!

Bette hadnt moved since Alice reached out and slammed the door in her face. She finally got herself together as best she could and walked slowly back over toward Tina. Tina was looking out of the window as Bette slowly took her seat. Babe, it is SO beautiful down there! Come here…come here, look at this view! Bette? Bette? Tina snapped her fingers in front of Bettes face. What? Without so much as a blink, Bette turned and faced Tina. I uh, I just opened the door on them by accident! Tinas eyes opened wide and a huge smile formed as she whispered loudly. What were they doing? Bette just stared on as she continued. Well, Dana may have been showing Alice how to use a tampon after all!

Tinas face fell into Bettes sleeve and as her laughing fit intensified, Alice and a REALLY embarrassed Dana came walking by. Bette just sat, rosy cheeked and smiling, as she watched Danas head disappear behind her seat. She didnt notice Alice sit down, but she did spot the middle finger that was now waving in the air in front of her. Dana and Alice just sat silently facing front as the muffled laughter came echoing from behind them. With the exception of an occasional laughing fit, they sat in silence for the rest of the flight. The Buckle Your Seatbelt sign lit up, and the plane began its decent. A few minutes later, they finally touched down in Alaska.

As they walked off the plane, Tina ran up to Dana and threw a consoling arm around her. Dana, still embarrassed, threw her head onto Tinas shoulder as Tina laughed and said, Aw, Dana! Bette slowed down her pace and waited for Alice to catch up. Not a word from you Porter! Bette smiled. Ya know Alice, Im actually having a good time! I think Im gonna enjoy this trip after all! Alice just shot Bette a ***** you! look as Bette smugly skipped off, catching up to Tina and Dana. Alice yelled out. Go to the rent a car counter! To the LEFT! Bette sandwiched Dana in the middle her and Tina as they veered off to the left.

They were leaning against the counter as Alice approached. She walked up to them and said, Pieszecki!! to the woman behind the counter. The woman just stared at Alice until Alice realized shed probably have to spell that. She fumbled around and finally produced her drivers license. As she hurled it at her, she turned to face her fellow mushers. Now listen, were gonna wait till we get to base camp. No eating till we get there. Theres a traditional campfire dinner each night before the race. NO STOPING TO EAT!!! All the girls just shrugged as Alice turned and grabbed the keys from the extended hand coming from behind the counter. Now, Im gonna go look real quick in the gift shop. I promised Shane a memento from our excursion! Bette and Tina still wore their wiseass smiles, Ok! Dana broke away from them, now wearing a smile of her own, and sliding her hand under Alices arm….they were off!

Bette and Tina walked out of the gift shop and took a seat on the bench in front. Dana soon became bored with the cheesy selection of dog and sled trinkets as well, and opted to join them as Alice continued to browse. Man, what junk! Alice said to herself as she walked up and down the isles. UNTIL….. HOLY *****!! THE MOTHER LOAD!!

Alice walked out of the gift shop grinning like an idiot and clutching a brown paper bag! Bette looked up and said, What did you buy? Tina and Dana both snapped their heads around to witness the purchase! Well, I didnt find anything for Shane. But, I did FIND SOMETHING FOR ME! Alice opened the brown paper bag and pulled out a HUGE raccoon hat, tail and all! Tina started to laugh as Dana said, Youre not wearing that thing! And Bette said, Perfect! Alice slapped it on her head as she said, The ***** Im not! Its cold in Alaska! This will not only keep me warm Dana….its a fashion statement! Dana frowned, What statement? That youre a Leave It To Beaver Fan?

Bette and Tina couldnt control themselves. Tina started to feel bad. Aw Al, I think it looks adorable on you! I like the tail the best! Bette just threw her hands up. Do you guys here yourselves? This one with beaver and now you with tail! I have to admit, I am really enjoying myself on this trip!! Bette walked up to Dana and whispered in her ear, Just think, less then an hour ago, your hand was down her pants! Dana turned and looked at Alice, now wearing her new fashion accessory. Dana smiled and whispered back, Just think, less then 8 years ago, yours was! Dana walked over and gave Alice a huge kiss on the lips and pulling back said, Lets go to Anchorage baby! Tina turned to Bette, What did you say to her? Bette grabbed her hand and said, Nothing, I was just, kidding around…..

They were walking up and down the parking lot looking for their rent-a-car. Alice told them to be on the look out for a practical looking Ford. No Ford was in the parking lot. Bette yelled out, What does it say on the key ring Alice? Alice looked at the key ring and said, Yeah, well, no, it does say this spot but Bette, I asked for an economy car. It should be in this spot, look, spot B-12! This is B-12! But this, this cant be it! Tina took the key ring from Alice and looked at it. She raised an eyebrow and held it up in front of Alices face. Hummer! Alice, the key ring even says Hummer on it. Its the right key. She rented you a Hummer! Bette spun around in a circle and said, Hummer! Beaver, tail and now…. now HUMMER? God, could this be any more fun!

The group didnt share in Bettes newfound appreciation for the sophomoric. Alice just looked up at the monster truck and said, Ok well, lets go. I want to be at base camp before it gets dark. We still have to eat dinner and meet the dogs. Bette went over and held out her hand. Oh no! Give em! Ill drive. Alice spun her head around so fast that the tail from her coon cap slapped her in the face. Um, I rented it! Im drivin it! Bette looked over at Tina with disbelief. Turning back to Alice she said, Did you ever drive one of these things before Alice? Alice gave it another once over. Oh Bette please! How hard can it be? Bette held out her hand again. Alice, the only thing youre used to driving is smaller then my shoe. Alice smirked, Well, its not my fault you have such huge feet Bette! Bettes smile dropped and Alice said, Oh what? Youve been doing it all day Bette! Huh! She sure can dish it out, but just cant seem to take it! Bette jumped in, Are you kidding me? I can take it…. Tina finally had enough. Im driving! Everyone turned and looked at her. Give me the keys. Im gonna show you guys how its done!

Tina took the keys from an open mouthed Alice. They watched as she walked around to the drivers side and climbed in. She started it up and gave the horn a toot that knocked them all out of their shock. They all slowly climbed in, Bette and Alice in the back, and Dana up front with T. Tina put on her shades and turning around said, Buckle up! As soon as she heard the last snap of a seatbelt, without so much as a warning, she floored it, jumping over a divider and landing onto the highway leading to Anchorage!

Tina: Now Alice, give Dana the map…..DO IT!

Alice reached in her bag and slowly handed the map off to Dana. Tina looked over at Dana. Now Dane, read off the directions, Bette, Alice…the two of you pipe down! I dont want to hear a PEEP from either of you! Dana opened the map and ran her finger down the highlighted line that Alice had pre-drawn. Ok Tina, just keep going straight and when you get to Chaiken Road, make a left. Follow that all the way down and we should see Troche Way! Well take Troche Way all the way till it ends and pick up Turner Parkway. That takes us right into Fairbanks. We should see the base camp on the right. Tina gave a nod and putting the pedal to the metal, drove like the wind.

About a half hour later, Tina pulled onto Turner Parkway. She shot a look into the rearview and spotted two sulking faces staring back at her. Were there you two. Time to put your happy faces on! Dana folded the map. And were here! Oh *****! Look at all the old men! Yuck! Tina pulled into base camp and parked the Hummer next to a row of pickups. As she shut the Hummer off, she removed her shades and turned to the group. Ok girls! Lets show these cowboys how its done!