For some reason, Ive been thinking about Marina.

I have to give Marina credit where credit is due. At least she had the guts to react to her heartbreak. Ive always thought that suicide was cowardice, but I am finding out that I am no longer qualified to make pretentious pronunciations.

Marinas suicide attempt has become a joke here is West Hollywood. Within ten minutes, one could encounter one hundred versions of how she went about it. It wasnt so long ago in my life, that I would have reacted with the same shallowness that I see around me.

Why are we so shallow? Marina was our friend. Is it because we are afraid that underneath our facades we could also be driven to that point? Are we making light of Marina because we are afraid of ourselves.

Or, is it that we are just that shallow?

I look at my friends Alice, Dana, and Shane. We have been together through so many life crises. How many times have they shown up at our door to implore Tina and I for advice? They used to look at Tina and I as the examples. We had it all together, therefore, we were best qualified to dispense with our wisdom.

They no longer look to me for advice.

We are truly a self absorbed group, I say in full knowledge that I am one of the most self absorbed people around. Shane sleeps with any woman who is willing without bothering to know a single detail about these women with whom she is exchanging bodily fluids. Nor, does she care. Shane takes what she wants and leaves with no thought or concern for the person with whom she has shared what was meant to be one of lifes most intimate moments.

Tina, my beloved T. She is barely holding herself together at all. There is no emotional energy left for the concerns of anyone else.

Tonya. What can I say? Is she capable of empathy?

At heart, I have always believed that Dana is a sensitive soul. With the exception of Tina, Dana is the person in our group who least wants to feel that they have hurt someone. However, since Tonya has come in to her life, Dana has buried the sensitive side of herself. A necessity, I suppose, when living with Tonya.