PG-13 for language and content.



The next day I woke with a body that had waged war on itself; my brain at odds with my heart, the latter of which was weak in its own defense at memories of Candaces ministrations imprinted on the nether regions of my core. I sighed heavily as I turned my head to view Tina in a peaceful slumber, her back facing me, her body just enough out of reach so my hands wouldnt easily find her in our sleep. A bittersweet smile crept across my face as I watched my beautiful love before me relieved of all burdens of the day. I noticed the significant space between our bodies, once non-existent, now symbolically expansive, leaving behind a coolness that had never been there before. Her radiant beauty that emanates from deep within filled my heart with profound love for her. Although I was seldom graced with it during the waking hours, I savored the beauty that is my wife in predawn early light when it was just she and I alone in the sanctuary of our room. Her body completely at peace, I gave in to gently tracing the outline of her side with feather light touches from her shoulder down to the curve of her hips before slipping out of bed to brace myself for a new day.


My mind wouldnt rest as I stood beneath the shower contemplating my next move. The blue pill or the red one, which one should I take. One would lead me back to the world I knew, felt safe in, although it wasnt very exciting, but held my soul mate; the other offered a fresh outlook, freedom from certain responsibilities, and promised passion and vigor I felt lacking within me as of late. Blue or red, red or blueTina or Candace? Do I follow Neo and risk the chance with escape or return to complacency and pray everything will be restored to what it once was? Who was I kidding, I had already tasted the forbidden fruit, delighted in every last juicy morsel salaciously administered”the answer was clear. I followed Tinas example of emotional retreat and swallowed the red pill.



Fast forward

Candace and I had been physically engage for almost two weeks. After the first week, I capitulated completely to the infidelity. Seven days was more than enough time for me to get over my hang-up that one-sided cheating wasnt completely betraying Tina. It was all semantics anyway”a way for me to convince myself that I hadnt lost all control. Like when former smokers postulates how long theyve quit smoking, but still partake in the occasional cigarette or two every so often, all the while claiming their smoke-free status is exempt from hypocrisy. Whatever. If theyre lighting up, then theyre still a smoker; its pretty black and white to any reasonable person. After a week of mind-blowing release by one very generous Candace Jewel, it was time for me to accept that I, Bette Porter, was a self-righteous cheating *****-up (a title I wouldnt have chosen exactly, but others deemed it befitting”denial, right?) and needed to service her the way she had so graciously ravished me.


Tackling that next hurdle made it that much easier for me to continue with my deceptive ways. It seemed Candaces appetite was just as ravenous as mine. Whatever challenges I tempted her with she willing accepted and demanded more. No body part was off limits, no room or furniture untouched by our undulating bodies dripping with sweat, no tools of the trade were left discarded in some non-descript box in the back of her closet. Everything I dished out to her, she artfully served it right back, and oh it was so, so ***** good. As I drew out ***** after ***** from Candace that night, I unwittingly unleashed the sexual predator deep inside her, and for the rest of the evening I became her game. It was fun raw and reminded me of the dormant facets of who I was, am and could be.


I cant remember the last time Tina and I made love with the same fevered passion Candace and I inspired in each other the night I surrendered wholeheartedly. Our ***** life was all but dead since the loss of our son, but it hadnt been spectacular, in the raw unbridled sense, for several years before then. When we first got together, I was thoroughly uninhibited with Tina, and she reciprocated with lustful eagerness rocking both of our worlds. Somewhere along the line, our blazing lovemaking died down to mere embers; it was still sweet and gentle, but as time passed, I sorely missed igniting each others flames.


I enjoyed Candace that evening and continued to enjoy her for a little while longer. In the end, it was still about me though. I couldnt give her my heart as it already belonged to someone else, but I freely volunteered my body for her to do with as she pleased. Candace, on the other hand, started to develop romantic feelings and allowed herself to find deeper meaning in our raucous *****. I dont know when she began the shift, but as soon as I felt it, I freaked out. I didnt want to be responsible for breaking another womans heart and most certainly couldnt foresee a lasting future with her beyond the sheets. It was just ***** after all. Near the end of our fourth week as tacit lovers, I severed all ties to her, which she was less than keen about. I remained adamant in my position that nothing could become of us, but she swore that one day I would see the light at the end of the tunnel, where she would be waiting for me.



TBC