Previously…

Bette opened the door and
allowed Tina to enter into the office before her. Once she herself passed
through the entryway, Bette closed the door behind her and waited patiently for
Tina to make the next move. It seemed like an eternity before Tina caught Bette’s
gaze again. Tina was completely caught up in the surroundings. So much like her
personality, Bette’s office reflected the organization and structure that Bette
personified with her own life. Up until today, Tina didn’t really have a clue
that it was mostly a fa&#231ade that Bette portrayed to the outside world. Very few
were allowed to see the real Bette Porter. Just as Tina had suspected, Bette’s
desktop was extremely organized. Upon closer scrutiny, she noticed a picture
displayed in plain view that one of the girls had taken of she and Bette. Tina
took a deep breath and knew that this was going to be more difficult that she
had anticipated.

Tina paused a moment
before turning to face Bette. Her eyes darted back and forth as her mind raced.
She needed to focus on what she wanted to say to Bette and what questions she
wanted answered. The problem was that every time that she looked at Bette her
heart raced, her mind wandered, and she got lost in those dark brown eyes and
what they emoted. Tina thought that maybe she could just not make eye contact
with Bette but knew that that wouldn’t work. Bette would think that Tina was
not being genuine or that she didn’t really mean what was being said. Then it
dawned on Tina – Bette’s office at the CAC was not the right place to discuss
their problems. They needed to be somewhere private that they both felt they
could have an open and honest conversation.

Tina inhaled and exhaled
deeply, turned and almost lost her resolve because of Bette’s image before her.
She thought to herself – could it be possible – was Bette even more beautiful
than Tina remembered? She kept reminding herself that she needed to stay
focused and be strong. Finally, Tina found the strength to speak. For once, it
wasn’t Bette who would guide the path their conversation would take. Tina was
amazed at Bette’s patience. Usually by now Bette would have tried to steer the
conversation towards what she wanted to talk about – her day, her job, her
needs – while Tina would sit idly by and listen. Tina pondered the notion that,
perhaps, Bette had indeed changed.