At this, I merely shrugged. Come to think of it, not once did I look at the guidance counselor’s chest during the entire half-hour meeting. For me, that was, well.. uncharacteristic. Is it bad that when I see a gorgeous woman with a remarkable cleavage, the first thing that pops into mind is not..‘oh, she’s so beautiful, I wonder what her name is?’, but instead, I think.. ‘gee.. I wonder what her nipples look like?’. Completely pervy, but an important question for me to ponder nonetheless. I love breasts. And yes, I have a thing for nipples. Big areola? Small areola? Innie? Outtie? Long one? Short one? Puffy? Pointy? The mystery of it all just adds to the overall appeal.

Seeing how glazed my eyes were, Sam chuckles softly and reaches over to give my shoulder a slight nudge, shaking me out of my thoughts. “You must’ve been really pissed at her if you didn’t notice her breasts. I’m not really a boob person, but even I have to admit that her pair worked like gravity, constantly pulling your eyes downwards from her face to her rack and all.”

“Yeah, my eyes were going up and down like yo-yos when I sat in for my assessment. Totally inappropriate, I know, but I couldn’t help myself.” Shane agreed, reminiscing with a wolfish grin. “Fuck, I got so dizzy after, but it was well worth the trouble.”

“Anyway,” Alice interrupts and waves a dismissive hand, swallowing the last of her chips before chucking away the wrapper. She turns to me and decides to steer the conversation back to its original course before the topic of boobs derailed it like it always does to any topic we discuss. They’re not her favorite subject, probably since she was never fortunate enough to date someone with big breasts. Hm.. wait.. Gabby had huge boobs, but he’s a man so I guess that doesn’t count. Alice tilts her head and studies my face for a moment, considering her next words. “To be honest, I don’t think you should take some of those pretentious anger management classes.” She finally says.

“I know, right?” My eyes light up. Finally! Someone who sees my point of view.

“Uh-huh, I don’t see the point in it, you’ll only be wasting time and money.” Alice shrugged flippantly. “I mean, the only way that temper of yours can be managed is to do something drastic like.. I dunno.. killing the beast, as some say.”