Tina had just started to tell Bette about her life, when she decided to use the restroom first. While Bette was waiting for her and thinking of her, she was staring out the window of the restaurant.

She reached out to her wine glass and slowly raised it up to her lips. She swirled the delicious liquid around her mouth, then held it still for a moment, letting the bouquet fill all her senses. Finally she swallowed and felt the warmth of the alcohol make it’s way through her body. She leaned back and relaxed into her chair, thinking about the different emotions that had played across Tina’s face as Bette had told her about her life. There had been sympathy for sure and genuine happiness when Bette had been talking about Milaine, but there had also been sadness…and for a fleeting moment Bette had thought she saw a touch of jealousy. She wasn’t quite sure. It had been so long since she had been around Tina, that she wasn’t as confident in reading her facial expressions as she used to be. Besides, the look was gone in an instant, but one thing was for sure, and that was the love that Bette saw shining back at her through Tina’s eyes. Tina’s beautiful, soft brown eyes. Bette smiled to herself…’God how I have missed looking into those eyes.’

So much had happened in the last fifteen years, and Bette wanted to share it all with Tina, but was worried. Maybe Tina was just being nice by being here. She did after all turned down the lunch invitation yesterday, and Bette could tell that Tina had hesitated before saying yes to dinner. Maybe she…

At that moment, Bette could see through the reflection in the window, a beautiful woman walking towards their table. She walked with such ease and confidence and Bette could see the eyes of several male patrons following her journey, as she wove her way through the tables. Bette closed her eyes for a moment and thanked the powers that be for giving her this time with Tina. ‘Whatever her reason for being here, it doesn’t matter. Thank you for this one last time.’ Bette turned from the window and with her smile, she showed Tina how happy she was to be there with her.

Tina had been watching Bette as she was walking back from the bathroom. She couldn’t believe how absolutely stunning Bette looked. Bette had always been beautiful, had always turned heads no matter where she went, but now at the age of 49, she had really come into her own. Tina didn’t understand the country’s obsession with youth, because she believed that women were so much more beautiful as they aged. The grace…the confidence…knowing what you want and what drives you…as well as so many other things, made a woman much more passionate, interesting…desirable.

It had been two years since her divorce was finalize, and she knew her sister was right, it was time for Tina to start dating again. The thing was, she didn’t know which direction she should look. The whole “it’s not the gender, it’s the person” thing, is all fine and good, but Tina’s past experience living with Bette, taught her that there were two distinct communities. Yes, ***** people had straight friends, and yes straight people had ***** friends, but for the most part Tina knew that where she chose to go when she “put herself out there” would be dictated by whether she was wanting to meet a man or a woman. I mean, what were the chances of meeting a single ***** at her suburban neighborhood barbecue, with children running around everywhere. Tina chuckled to herself…’what am I thinking, I live in Seattle, so the chances of that happening are way better than most parts of the country!’ Of course there was only one problem. Tina didn’t know if she could ever sleep with another woman without thinking about Bette. She had meant it all those years ago when she had said that Bette was her first, last and forever.

Tina dragged her thoughts to the present as she approached the table and was instantly thrown off balance by the incredible smile lighting up Bette’s face. Tina grabbed the back of her chair and lowered herself into it as casually as possible, hoping that Bette didn’t pick up on the effect of that smile. She smiled back at her, holding eye contact for just a moment longer than was necessary. “Ok…that’s better. Now, where was I?”

Bette grinned. “You were nowhere T. You hadn’t started yet.”

Tina chuckled. “Oh yea. Ok…well after I left…wait. Bette, I just wanted to say thank you for understanding my decision to leave. I tried to come back to you, and we did go out those couple of times…but I knew…that at that time, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t forgive you, I was feeling so much anger, but I also knew that Candace was just the catalyst. There were so many other issues that we had just let build up. You were right earlier. If I had stayed, we would have destroyed every ounce of love we had for each other, and I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted to always have that love with me…somewhere. I didn’t want it destroyed…so I left.”

“You know that I went back to work with Alfaville. After that I asked Alice not to share anymore about my life with you. I knew that you were hurting, and I guess, like you, I needed it to be a clean break. I too felt like I needed to start my life anew. Well, about six months later…probably right around the time you were moving to New York…I went to an anniversary party for one of the guys I worked with. His best friend Dan, had flown in from Seattle, just to help him and his wife celebrate.”

Tina smiled at the memory. “He was charming and handsome, and very attentive. You could tell by the way he looked at Jim and Amy that he wanted what they had…love, marriage, children…the whole package. Anyway, we had a great time together. He was easy to be with, not aggressive, but certainly lived with a purpose. I have to admit, that at first, I was glad he lived out of town. I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship. But, we started e-mailing and calling regularly, and he would fly down for a long weekend two or three times a month. I don’t know…one day I woke up next to him and felt…love. I knew he was in love with me, so when he asked me to marry him…” Tina looked down at her lap, “I said yes. In hindsight, I probably should have said no. I mean, I loved him…I loved him very much, but I wasn’t madly in love with him. Don’t get me wrong, we had years and years of wonderful times, both as a couple and as a family, but in the end…well when Dan asked me for a divorce three years ago, I asked him why. I thought we were happy. He told me that for as much as I loved him, he knew he wasn’t the love of my life. He had just always hoped that someday that would change…you know, when the kids were born, and if he gave me everything I wanted, that maybe someday, I could love him as he did me.” Tina shook her head and gave Bette a sad smile. “The day he moved out, we had one of those dramatic scenes, ya know where we both were sobbing, hugging each other. I kept telling him that I loved him. He said that he knew that. That he felt my love, but that it just wasn’t enough.” Tina looked up at Bette and surprised her with a bright and happy smile. “Last year Dan met the woman…the right woman for him. They are crazy in love, and for as much as I miss him, I know that she is the one for him. Her name is Kathy and she is wonderful for him and with our kids.”

Tina stopped for a second, taking her turn to be the one staring out the window. “Maybe I should have said no all those years ago, but I don’t think so. Because if I had, I wouldn’t have had my children…and I can’t imagine my life without them.” Tina looked over at Bette, who was staring at Tina with so much love, that Tina wanted to jump across the table and into her arms. ‘How can I have these overwhelming feelings for her after all these years? God Tina, get yourself together.’

Bette saw the confusion on Tina’s face. She cleared her throat and smiled. “Your children…Dani is wonderful, so much like you. I can’t wait to see her paintings, she has so much passion for being only thirteen. Tell me about your other two.”

Tina couldn’t help but relax. “Well, Paul is our middle child. He is eleven and a lot like Dan. He is sweet and has a gentle energy about him. He is very attentive to those around…” Tina started to laugh. “But those qualities disappear when he steps onto the soccer field, or the baseball field. He loves sports…and surprisingly…reading. He is quite the interesting kid, and I absolutely adore him! And then there is Alexandra. She was, I have to admit, a surprise. Dan and I were fine with two, but when I became pregnant again…well, I knew there was a reason for everything. Alex is eight and is a lot like Paul. She loves everything outdoors, loves sports…you would think with all the rain in Seattle it would dampen their spirits, but they just totally ignore it. Alex is always wanting to learn something new. When we take them camping, she wants to know how to put up the tent, how to fish…she is the first one back with her arms full of firewood…yet, when she is indoors, she loves to just sit and play quietly, with whatever is in front of her. She is the only child I know who doesn’t care about watching TV.” Tina looked at Bette and felt her eyes fill with tears. “I love my children more than I ever thought was possible, and for that, I can never regret saying yes to Dan.”

Bette reached across the table and took a hold of Tina’s hand, just like they had both been doing all throughout dinner, only this time a jolt of electricity went through her. She looked over at Tina to see if she felt it, and was taken aback by the look of love…of longing on Tina’s face.

“Well Tina, even though we spent the last fifteen years apart, it looks like we were lucky enough to have found love and happiness. And even though things have changed in our lives over the last several years, we both have been able to experience what we were looking for 22 years ago, when we first met… and for that, I am truly grateful. The question is…where do we go from here?”