Chapter 88

Tina’s contraction ripped through her making her scream out in pain. She squeezed Bette’s hand again – harder. Bette was fairly sure that later she would need x-rays to survey the damage. As she heard Tina cry out – she looked at her and was overtaken by emotion. Bette felt tears forming in her eyes. She hated seeing Tina in so much pain – yet she felt she was being so brave – she was proud of her. She waited for the contraction to pass. She bent over Tina and kissed her gently on the lips. “You’re doing great Tina…really great. I love you.”

Tina looked at her and said very clearly. “Don’t touch me – I don’t want anyone touching me.” Tina closed her eyes and leaned back into the pillow under her head.

Bette’s feelings were hurt. She knew she shouldn’t take it personally – but it was so hard not to. It felt very personal! Jackie saw the interaction between them and appeared at Bette’s side. She took hold of Bette’s arm and pulled her a few feet away from Tina.

“Sunshine…hey. It’s ok…I know this is hard for you. You’re being so wonderful – loving – caring – and Tina is doing everything she can to push you away. Remember Sunshine – she loves you more than anything. It’s the pain she’s in – it’s making her crazy.” Tears fell from Bette’s eyes. Jackie wrapped her arms around her. “Awww…Sunshine….go ahead and cry. I’ll just hold you for awhile ok?” Bette rested her head on Jackie’s shoulder and cried softly. Jackie rubbed her back. “Everything will be over soon Sunshine – everyone is getting so tired now. Just remember Tina really does love you.” Bette looked into Jackie’s eyes – she saw Tina there.

“Thank you mom. I know Tina loves me…I know. It’s just so hard to see her go through this. I feel so helpless. Maybe I’m not saying the right things – or doing the right things. I’m so tired – I can only imagine how tired she is….I just wish this would end.”

“Sunshine – you’re not doing anything wrong – you’re being wonderful. She’s just so tired and in so much pain – she isn’t thinking right – that’s all. It’s not you!”

At that moment Tina screamed again as another contraction hit. She screamed. She screamed for Bette.

“Sunshine – see – go to her – go now!”

Bette ran back over to Tina and grabbed her hand. Tina was in tears. “GOD BETTE! IT HURTS SO MUCH…I CAN’T DO THIS!”

“Sure you can T. It’ll all be over soon. You can do it – you are doing it. I’m here for you T.”

“I love you Bette…” Tina spoke through her tears.

Bette turned and looked at Jackie. Jackie looked back at Bette and nodded. She mouthed. “She loves you Sunshine…I told you so!”

Bette looked back at Tina. “I love you too Baby.”

Tina looked into Bette’s eyes. “Baby – please sing to me….it’ll help me calm down.”

“T – you’re the only one who’s ever heard me sing. I feel funny singing in front of everyone.”

Tina began crying again. “Please Baby….please.”

“Ok…ok…if you want me to – I will.”

Bette took a deep breath and even though she was uncomfotable doing it in front of Dr. Wilson, Jackie and what seemed like a hundred nurses, she began singing softly. Tina smiled – her first smile since her labor began. Bette smiled back – knowing now that it was so worth the humiliation – just to see Tina smile that beautiful smile.

Like the sound of silence calling
I hear your voice and suddenly I’m falling
Lost in a dream
Like the echos of our souls are weaving
You say those words
My heart stops beating
I wonder what it means
What could it be
That comes over me
At times I can’t move
At times I can hardly breathe
When you say you love me
The world goes still
So still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment there’s noone else alive

Bette was cut off by Tina – and her next contraction. “Bette – please STOP doing that – stop singing please! ***** – BETTE – OH GOD BETTE . This hurts. I can’t do this anymore.” Tina began sobbing.

Bette held her hand – with what was left of hers – and leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Baby you’re doing great – you can do it – I love you so much T.”

Tina looked at Bette. “Why the ***** aren’t you singing – you know it calms me down – sing Bette – come on!”

Bette let out a heavy sigh. She forced herself to forget that it was Tina who told her to stop.

You’re the one I’ve always thought of
Don’t know how but I feel sheltered in your love
You’re where I belong
And when you’re with me if I close my eyes
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time
Somewhere between the heavens and earth
Frozen in time
Oh when you say those words
When you say you love me
The world goes still
So still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment there’s noone else alive

“BETTE – ANOTHER ONE – *****. I can’t – OH GOD – I can’t…it’s too much. MAKE IT STOP! Please make it stop Baby….make it stop….” When Tina’s contraction ended she looked at Bette. “Well – sing – come on – I need you to sing to me – why do you keep stopping?”

Bette let out another heavy sigh. She looked at Tina and smiled. She started singing again.

And this journey that we’re on
How far we’ve come and I
Celebrate every moment
And when you say you love me
That’s all you have to say
I’ll always feel this way
When you say you love me
The world goes still
So still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment
I know why I’m alive
When you say you love me
When you say you love me
Do you know how I love you

As Bette finished singing – she realized that the entire room had gone silent – she had an audience the entire time. Everyone was looking at her in awe. “Ok everyone – back to work – this is all about Tina – not my singing!”

Tina’s body was wracked with the pain of another contraction. She squeezed Bette’s hand and instead of crying out – she just cried. “Baby – I can’t do this anymore – I’m too tired – I just can’t do this anymore.” Bette felt tears rolling down her cheeks. At this moment she would have given anything to have Tina’s pain stop. She bent down and kissed Tina’s forehead. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She wanted to make it all stop. Tina couldn’t do it anymore – and she couldn’t watch it anymore.

At that moment, Dr. Wilson spoke. “Ok Tina – it’s time to push. You’re almost there. You can do it – just a little bit longer and it’ll all be over.”

Bette kissed Tina’s forehead again. “Come on Baby – you can do it. I’m right here for you. I love you so much – you can do this T. You can….”

“Baby I can’t….I can’t.”

“Yes you can T….you can.”

Dr. Wilson looked at Tina. “Ok Tina – PUSH!”

TBC