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How am I supposed to live without you? part 2
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‘ How am I supposed to live without you’ Part 2
1. Because of the way I feel when I wake up next to you in the morning
I stared at the words, and felt how the memories overflowed me… Of waking up in her arms, whether she was awake or still in slumber… Her warmth, her velvetly softness, her butterfly kisses… I tried to stop the overwhelming wave of bittersweet nostalgia that hit me… Tried to prevent the utter pain that was allready invading my shattered heart…
I could just kick myself as my fingertips created the ‘friendly’ answer she required… Saying it was sweet and that Jodi would be crazy not to sense that too. Typing that name, I wondered how it was possible that I had gotten into this game… She had solely sended me that line, allowing me to wonder my ‘what if’s’ again… Allowing me to think the message would be ment for me, untill the realization hit me… The game I had started with the pop-quiz I had given her before she had shut that door… Closing that passageway that could have led me to her…
Would she realize…?
No!
I had to stop thinking that… I had to stop doubting, and lay in the bed that I had made… I had chosen to let her go… I had chosen what I had thought to be the easiest route, straight into the arms of a man, not realizing my life was not a life without her…
I felt tears burn in my eyes, tears I, with all might, tried to push back…
When I was a little girl, I remember one dream that kept coming back…
Have you ever walked down a road, and realize you are amazingly lost? And then just, because you don’t know what else to do, continue walking and walking, too doubtfull, too scared, too stupid to turn around?
I remember that dream so vividly, maybe also because it had lately started to appear again, but especially because the feeling had been so strong… That feeling of utter desperation…
But…
As saw myself wandering…
Back and forth…
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Oh! First! :P What friends are for, mom? ;) Brb
Smashing,pps
this is what happens when your a dumbass tina!!!!!!!! dana help her fix this mess!!!!!!! 5 pages!!!!!!!!!! it could be… pms
At first I though that Bette had come back, My the ghost of Dana will get Tina to tell Bette how she feels. Let hope so Hey my young friend you should really make a lot of people happy if you postied real real soon. thanks
I am dying to know what is going to happen next!!! Another post or two would be fantastic… ;-)
WOW!!!! That was Great!!!! I sure hope Dana helps Tina. Thanks I love it!!! PPVS
OMIGOD, first zombies, then i read newdawn’s work, and now ghosts!!!!! AHHHHH! oh, no wait, it’s dana, a friendly ghost. hehe. this was great. really really good. it’s helping me to understand the tibette thing. you’re a fantastic writer!
Wow…this was amazing. You write with such passion and understanding of emotions. I wasn’t expecting Dana and I hope she can help Tina share her feelings. Looking forward to more…can’t wait! Take care!
My comment got lost in cyberspace! What I wrote was the following (or something like it) – you write with such passion and emotion. I wasn’t expecting Dana, let’s hope she can help Tina share her feelings with Bette. Looking forward to more…I’ll be here reading! Take care!
OK..so it wasn’t lost and now I will take my red face and walk away laughing! Take care!
You make it hard, you know that? Tina is suffering so much. You write her feelings tormenting her perfectly. We can feel it. PPS if you can :P
okay…this is really hard to read, it;s like word after word the hope is leaving…and then dna appeared…maybe she will be like on the show, tell tina to go after bette because life is too short to waste on being quiet about your feelings…and i also have a feeling that bette is writing those things to tina, i can’t imagine her feeling so deep for jodi…post soon and bring our girls back together
The tears are coming down because of the heart break that Tina has brought down around her. Does she fight for Bette or does she wait and hope deep in her heart that Bette will come back to her?
Hey JustLoveB+T, Thank you for this intense story. Having Tina recall all of her mistakes and the way that she has helped Bette chase Jodi is soul destroying. To realize what you have destrpyed and cast aside just makes me want to curl up and shut the world out. Tina needs a kick up the ass and I hope that Dana is here to do it. Just like she did with Alice. I really want to see Tina make a play for Bette. Jodi may be her romance right now but I believe that Jodi’s wandering eyes will be the end of that relationship. Having Bette on the receiving end will be an interestiung dynamic. Can’t wait so please post more soon. Many thansk for this awesome adventure. Your Loyal Fan.
this was amazing…can’t wait for the next chappy…pps
“Why was it that every word of her brought out so many memories in me?” , your Tina said… Oh, god, personal memories just invade my mind now, just because I relate so deeply with Tina’s agonizing pain… Memories of an other blond…An other blond, asking for advices her one and only best friend, this so faitfhul and so helpful friend she will always have besides her… “What would I do without you ?”, she said, with this usual warm and grateful light in her eyes… Advices about her last affair, advices about what she should do and how she should react… And, like your Tina here, the faithful and totally devoted friend each time tried her very best to give the most desinterested advice, just to assure the happiness of her one special one – happiness with somebody else. Because true love is so : unselfish, even with unbearable pain in an always wounded heart. Years later, here’s this other blond, finally finding her balance in her family life, surrounded by children and the right person besides her… My one special one, the only one in my heart, for which I will always be ready to give the best desinterested advices all my life along, for the bittersweet joy to remain her best friend and confident…*** Now here’s my plea, dearest M, from the deepest of my Tibette’s heart : please don’t let your Tina suffering this way forever. For she, at least, can have hope to get this happiness again, this miracle some people never knew and/or will never know : a shared true love. I know too well what it is to bear a Jodi in my life and, god, how I need to see how one is able to get again, as deeper as ever, something I will always only have to dream about… Forgive me this ‘attack of melancholy’, my dear talented author, but you have to put the blame on your marvellous writing gift, so full of your beautiful sensitivity, for taking me in such a vivid way on the so bittersweet memory lane. Forever your faithful reader and grateful friend – A.
hey sweety! finally i read it!! if you put cold+ this story = sad very sad night! and morning! i hope you can post soon and bring us some hope… please? when i read at the end Dana… i though maybe is the medicine for the flu htat i am taking that made me read another things but not it’s real Dana wil be there i can’t wait to read how! this story is incredible! hugs
I thought it was Bette… how I wished it was Bette… hehe ;) ‘As long as she’s happy’ but Tina is going to be miserable. How painful it is to want something that you cannot have… especially you’ve had a taste of that wonderful feelings before… maybe Tina ‘helping’ Bette to woo Jodi back is a way to be ‘close’ to Bette again… ‘work along’ to create beautiful things = memories… PPS
Ooooh, Captain, this is so good, but why the heck did you stop there?! I miss Dana, but there she is! Yay! Ok, I need to stop gushing, but this makes me hurt and happy at the same timme, and I’m just waiting for Dana to tell Tina exactly what’s what. Go to it, my friend!
I’m back and had to jump right into 1 aand 2 of this story…great, I am so hooked…and so rooting or Bette and Tina.
tired…I meant ‘for Bette an Tina’
Damn this is so good and hope Dana will help Tina to win Bette back. Ok post soon please, thanks!
WOW – that was so wonderfull – yes do let Dana help Tina. She needs to tell Bette about her true feeling for her. Post soon