I see the worries in Tinas eyes when she asked me about me being *****. She was actually shocked those words came out from her mouth. It made her look adorable. I was actually fine and comfortable about being asked about my sexuality; no problem at all cos I know I AM *****! But the reason she was asking me was something Id like to know.

Bette: Tina, have you ever been in love? Because you can wake up one day and say oh my god I love someone but you cant say Ill just not love that someone today Love comes naturally whether you like it or not. However much you push that feeling aside, you cant lie to your heart. Your heart knows what is best for you, it knows the whole truth

I really dont know where this is going but I hope Ive helped out in some ways. She seemed very much deep in thoughts I didnt really know what else to say. To me, you cant choose who you are or who you love. It just happens. Things just happen. And as much as I dont want to fall in love with Tina, I know I already am and there was no way that I will be able to get past that. I looked at her as she stared right back at me.

Tina: Bette, I know what my heart is telling me to do. Please dont pull away

I didnt know what she was talking about but then she leaned in and kissed me. I was afraid to reciprocate for I was scared if I do, shed stop. So I just held her and it felt really really good. Ive wanted to be with Tina ever since I met her. And after a few seconds passed I couldnt control it any longer, I kissed her back. The kiss was sweet, and it mean a lot to me much more than the kisses Ive experienced. It means a lot cos Tina means a lot to me. I can still remember the kiss, I was nervous as *****, but Tina just knew what to do. Just then she broke the kiss. I still wanted more but I didnt want to freak her out.

She just stared at me searching for some kind of answers, answers shes been wanting to know.

I wanted to tell her how much that kiss means to me and how much she means to me. I wanted to tell her to stay the night and stay with me. I wanted to tell her shes the person I think of every morning when I wake up and the last person on my mind before I sleep. I wanted to tell her so much but being the type of person I am, I couldnt properly describe how I feel. All the things Ive properly said in my head came out as a blur.

Bette: Tina I

Just then my phone rang. I thought Ill just let the machine get it and continue with what I wanted to say.

Bette: I

But the phone continued ringing and it was distracting me from saying the right things.

Bette: I uhmm maybe I should get that?

I could see the look in her eyes, impatiently waiting for what was to come.

Bette: Hello?

Woman: Hey! Where the ***** have you been? Ive only been getting your mailbox lately! Get your ***** out here Porter! Were at Moonlight and I have to tell ya, the girls are looking pretty HOT tonight!!! So get your ***** down here NOW!!!!

I looked uncomfortably at Tina who was still looking at me.

Bette: (whispering) Al, I cant right now, maybe another time ok? Ive got company.

Alice: Is it Melanie? Cos I saw her in town today.

Bette: No plus its none of your business who I go out with Al!

Alice: Ok ok fine. But just meet up for lunch or something ok? We really miss you.

Bette: Ok ok I will tomorrow ok? Call me then. Bye!

I hung up and took a deep breath. I couldnt think straight. My friends are worried about me, ***** even Im worried about me. I walked to my living room and found Tina quietly drinking her wine. She is a definite sight for sore eyes. I stood and leaned on the wall while taking in the sight of her. She was completely unaware of my staring at her. She probably thought I was still on the phone. I continued looking at her for a few minutes as she sat quietly looking at her glass.

I slowly walked toward her and she looked up to see me watching her.

Tina: Oh I didnt hear you come in. Is everything ok?

I walked up to her thinking of the kiss we just had and trying to block the thoughts of my friends and the thoughts of Eric away. The kiss, thats the only thing I want to remember but I know there are other big issues I need answers to.

Bette: Yeah everything is. Tina? I know its late but do you mind if we talk some more? I mean if youre tired I can send you home if you want or stay here. Id actually be more comfortable if you stay here, I mean at least I know youd be safe.

Tina: Its ok Bette. Im not tired, yet. Im, just so much is happening right now. Please, what is it you want to talk to me about?

Bette: I have a lot on my mind too. So many questions I need you to answer. But well go one step at a time ok?

Tina: Ok Bette.

Bette: Why did you and Eric break up?

Tina: I, to tell you the truth Bette, there was nothing wrong with Eric. He was a sweet guy; he never acted the way he did at the restaurant tonight. And for that Im truly sorry. It was all me. I mean, I love Eric. Hes my best friend. But I think I might have lost him forever.

Bette: What do you mean?

Tina: I told him we couldnt be together anymore cos I dont feel the same way anymore but I do love him, just that the sparks werent there anymore. And I told him it wasnt about him. I guess he just couldnt accept the fact that I left him.

Bette: What did he say?

I saw Tina contemplating. She was trying to gather her thoughts, trying to remember the past events and trying to find the right words to perfectly describe what Eric was thinking.

Tina: He thought Ive been fooling around with you

Bette: Oh

Her answer shook me a little. Why did Eric think that way? And didnt she deny it to Eric when he said that? Did Tina tell him about the kiss? God of course not! Why would she?

Bette: Tina, what I dont understand is you know I have feelings for you but do you know what your feelings are for me? I mean the kiss; you kissed me and asked me not to pull away

Tina: Bette, I dont really know what Im feeling at the moment. But all I know is that I enjoy being with you Bette. I love talking to you. This, you and me here, I want this.

Bette: Are you sure this is what you want Tina? Are you sure? Cos if you say yes Id be filled with so much joy but I dont think I could take it if one day you think this isnt the life that you wanted and you wanted to go back to being straight. Cos I know I wont ever go back to being straight. Im comfortable with who or what I am. And have been for as long as I can remember. And can I just tell you something? The moment I saw you Tina, right at that moment, you took my breath away. No ones ever had that effect on me.

I didnt know what or how I did it, it must have been the boldest statement Ive ever confessed to anyone.

Tina: Bette, do you trust me enough to accept the fact that Im falling for you?

I was speechless. I didnt know what to say. I knew she told me she liked being with me and she wanted me but clearly I wasnt ready for this kind of feelings from her. But knowing that she is falling for me just makes me happy. She is falling for me!!! The feeling is mutual and Im not just this one crazy in love person. She too feels the same way! But is it because Ive been there ever since she and Eric broke up? Did she just miss the company of being with someone?

Bette: Are you really falling for me Tina? Are you sure? You sure that this is not something you know some kind of an experiment of I dont know, I dont want to sound so blunt but I want so much for this and I hope this isnt some kind of a rebound

Tina: What? You think this is some kind of a rebound?

Bette: Im sorry, I didnt mean it I mean are you sure this is what you want?

Tina: Can I be frank here Bette? One of the reasons why Eric and I broke up was because I started to have feelings for you. I tried to ignore these feelings, I didnt want to hurt Eric cos he is being so sweet but as you said, you cant choose who you love, it comes naturally. I tried so hard to push the feelings aside Bette, believe me I did. But they just wouldnt. And as much as I wanted to spare Eric the pain, I knew I had to let him go and hurt him in the process. The past three weeks I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. I wanted to stay with Eric but I didnt want to stay with anyone for the wrong reasons, it just wouldnt be fair. Not to him, not to me and not even to you Bette.

Bette: So what are you saying Tina?

Tina: I guess what Im trying to say is, if you are willing to give me a chance, we should at least try?

Bette: You mean?

Tina: Yes I mean!