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Hockey Night in Canada: Getting Ready to Ruuuumble
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It was true.
“Yeah…uhh…how many breakups is that this year alone?” Alice did the math, counting on her fingers. “Once just before New Years, then you got back together a week after that…then you broke up three weeks later…then back together this week…”
“Last summer you broke up three times and reconciled twice.” Kit offered.
Helena and Tina continued to face off. “You just had to drive alone with Bette in your limo…” Tina’s stick smacked Helena’s off the ice, stinging Helena’s hand a little.
“Well, I had to discuss Peabody foundation business with her.” Helena said in all honesty. “But yes, I did plan on seducing her as well.”
“Least she’s honest. Mhmmmm…” Kit muttered, then skated away. She was having a hard time on the metal blades, and considered sitting out. Soon, the other teams would be arriving, and they would all be viciously fucked.
“We’re fucked.” Shane said for her. She laughed, her feet sliding out from underneath her. She landed heavily on her butt and had to be helped up again by Dusty and Tasha.
“Ok, let’s organize our scrimmage teams. Fighting Whities…” Tasha’s words were nearly interrupted by an eruption of giggles from Alice, Shane and Kit. “we’ll organize on our end…its four on four, with a permanent goalie for each side…we only have half an hour to practice.
Soon, Helena and Tina faced off for the puck against Bette and Tasha. That turned out to be a bad idea, when Bette won the face-off, slapped the little black disc back to Dusty on defense, and found herself flat on her back after Tina checked her. The blonde looked down with a triumphant grin: “Sacked!” she shrieked.
“Ow.” She said mildly. “You know, this isn’t football, I’m not the quarterback…” Dusty stood in place, passing the puck back and forth with her own stick. They hadn’t yet decided what to do in this scenario, but they could all use some practice on penalty shots.
“Fowl…no, wait, Foul!” Helena shouted.
“You’re on MY team!” Tina screamed at her, throwing a glove in her face.
“Penalty!” Max shouted helpfully from his spot as goalie, also on Tina’s team. “Not foul, penalty…”
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Amusing. Like the basketball game but hockey is much more violent. Good job
Why do you post stuff when I have to leave? I’ll read you later. Promise.
Speaking of which, I recently saw in a talk show with Jennifer, one I had not seen and I thought I had seen all of them, that her husband was teaching her how to play hockey..and she didn’t even know before that how to skate…Am I the only one who missed this? Anyway I cannot imagine our Jennifer, sweet, shy, cultured, enjoying this sport! The fic was like the basketball game, but hb, dear hb, have we lost you as a wonderful Belena writer forever?? We had so few, and those that dabble too long in the Dark Side may be trapped there! I hope things are better with your family. Hugz!
nope, i’m still a belena writer. i posted two ligeia chapters about a week ago, and i’m working on planet terror tonite. bette and helena smut shall soon appear:)
“Fuck you, just FUCK you and your little dog too!” Best. Line. Ever. I’m one of the five Canadians who does not share the national obsession with hockey, but I’d pay serious coin to see the L word ladies re-enact this story in my local arena. During one of her appearances on the Late Late Show, Jennifer did say she loved hockey and that her daughter was watching it on the tube at the grand old age of two months. Go figure.
I’m one of the five too rufus! Though this looks like this was a commnetary on a Flames / Oilers game! LOL Great one hb!
At least Jenny didn’t spit her gum at somebody. Remarkably restrained of her. She WOULD have a horrible dog that pees on people. I bet it bites and barked the whole way up from LA. I’ve only played field hockey-I wish we had those nice heavy gloves like the icy players-I might not have fractured my index finger between my stick and the other girl’s. And I bet our winger would have liked the big shin pads, which would have saved her shin from that quite large divot. For a senior she cried real loud. Ah, good times. Sounds like B & T are off again. But that Sandra Oh is really talented. As an actress and a surgeon. But how much damage could a spleen sized bomb do?
as funny says..yay funny is back, B and T are off again, I vote for OFF, and B and H ON. Now how big is a spleen anyway, and I imagine a bomb of any size could do something. I can just see Jenny lounging around on the edges of the rink, drinking coffee screaming ” I told you not to pass the puck to me” while Bette tears everyone’s heads off, “damn, we’re losing”, tina doesn’t seem to know what team she is playing on but I have a helpful suggestion for her and Helena is their secret weapon! Hey I liked playing field hockey when I was in HS..much more civilized than ice hockey! Though, it wasn’t in that interview that Jennifer was talking about learning it, but she said her husband plays it, and she is learning,and in the interview hb mentioned she said the baby loves it…how lovely, a nice, violent, blood dripping, teeth spitting game for the whole family to enjoy together!
Hockey? *Ice* hockey? Bette? Helena? Hockey? Angry (hot) Tina? Hockey? Crazy Jenny? Hockey? Dusty? Tasha? Hockey? HOCKEY??!?? ……. (excuse me, whilst my feeble brain goes on pleasure overload.) Btw, I liked your take on Sandra Oh’s turn as MacGyver. One day, I, too, hope to save the world with a Tootsie Roll pop stick and an empty Yoo-hoo bottle. I want more, hb… post soonish please. cheers
I found it!! The interview I spoke of in which Jennifer mentions learning how to play hockey was on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, July 26, 2000. As I said, I had not known of it til I recently saw it. She is soooooooo cute in this one. She feels very comfortable with Jon, she knows him well,apparently and she is just adorable. She is also wearing a black velvet sleeveless top, cut VERY LOW…my is it getting warm in here?
Hello My Friend, that was so freaking awesome… Hockey Night in Canada (where was Don Cherry to host this shin dig)hehe… that would have been some awesome commentary :P… You really love to de-construct these characters to their baser selves… I was in the ACC last night and I could just imagine something like this happening… you are brilliant my friend… just completely super brilliant… any chance of some Matrix(y) fun soon… hmmmmm… I’ll be sending you something most likely later today (Friday)… take care and have fun… Sincerely, JC
loved it HB!!! BeNNy was so funny, I loved their ‘fight’ !!! The hockey game was awesome!