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    Hindsight – Chapter 23

    Story written on February 1, 2007 by Jobadge.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 37
    Words: 2225
    Story Shortlink: https://mail.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=64309
    Author Notes:

    Bette Porter: She had loved me with as much passion and intensity as I had loved her and continued to love her…

    Hindsight – Chapter 23

    Main Entry: hindsight
    Pronunciation: ‘hIn(d)-"sIt
    Function: noun

    Meaning:  understanding the nature of an event after it has happened

    "Hindsight is always better than foresight"

     

    “The answer is no… to both questions…”

     

    Fuck…, what did she just say…, she said…, fuck…, Jesus, how the hell was I meant to respond to that, to say I was surprised that she said that in that very moment would be a massive understatement, did she really say what I thought she said…,  “I… uh… um… wh… uh… what… did you… say…”

     

    Tina smiled at me, she was smiling at the shock registering on my face, did she set out to shock me with the timing and delivery of her answers, if she did then she had succeeded with honours.

     

    “The questions you asked me in Angelica’s room…?”

     

    I could only nod at her, my mouth was so dry; my mind was in a spin.

     

    “You asked if I was happy…”

     

    “Yeah…” my voice came out as a croak.

     

    “And, if I… uh… if what we went through… was worth it… all the heartache… and uh… the pain…”

     

    I couldn’t speak, I felt my eyes well as my mind and body remembered the heartache… and the pain…, the unspeakable pain…

     

    Did she know how much heartache or pain I had gone through these last weeks, but did she know that it wasn’t only the fact that I had to go through the emotional process of Angelica being ripped from my life, but I also had to go through the motions of grieving for my lost relationship with her… 

     

    Angelica had been a part of my life for nearly two years, including the time she was ensconced inside the woman I shared my life with, those months that my hands and heart caressed and loved her through the body of my partner.

     

    But Tina… Tina, Tina, Tina…, she was my life…, she had been in my life for nearly ten years…, she had been my life for ten years and I had lost her…, and although I knew our relationship hadn’t been at its best in the latter years, it hadn’t altered how I felt about her, she was still the only woman I had ever given myself wholly too, she knew everything there was to know about me, the good…, the bad…, and the indifferent…, and she had loved me regardless, the flaws and the imperfections didn’t put her off.  She had loved me with as much passion and intensity as I had loved her and continued to love her, but then she had other ideas and thoughts…, about men, and where did that leave me… it didn’t… she did…

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    Comments

    3. I have a feeling the question of Henry is going to be addressed again, sooner rather than later… And I, for one, would like to see Tina give a better answer than “I don’t know.”

    4. Tina, Tina, Tina the shall set you free. Now get in there and embrace it instead of your usual modus operandus of running like the wind from it. It may not be as attractive as Bette, but you’ve got to go there before you can really and fully embrace her again.

    6. Sweet chapter Jo, and finally no tears – mine that is! Tina’s got some rough weather ahead of her and she’s right it’s going to take some time to row through it. Hopefully it will be the exact length of time it takes to allow all the pieces of Bette’s heart to heal back together. You’re so good Jo! Thank you!

    10. Boo Boo is going to help mommy piece back her mamma’s heart one puzzle pieace at a time. It will take a while but at least it is a step in the right direction.

    11. I love this story. It’s always painfully short (and I do mean painful), but every chapter is well worth reading, and the emotion it evokes just reels the reader in. Now, please post soon so they can finally get to the park. :)

    14. I keep repeating myself when I leave you a comment… I’m gonna stop sayin’ this was great and bla bla bla. You probably already know it. :P Good step with this chap. Take care, Jo.

    15. Like B said “I see hope there” and maybe after they get themselves back together maybe they will get back together. I will always hold out hope for B&T. Great update

    17. All the pieces of the puzzle will fit together again, if you do it carefully and dont try to make it fit until both are sure. Love that they are at least talking without angry. thanks

    19. They’re making such good progress. You’re breaking my heart, but it looks good for them if they have the courage to try again… oh, and of course, once Tina gets Henry the hell out of her life. I think Bette might get all the pieces back yet… LOVE IT SO MUCH.

    22. where they belong… Perfect end of a perfect chapter Jo… the jigsaw of Bettes heart however is entwined with Tina’s, and to let all th pieces of that puzzle fit, their hearts need to find that perfect rhythm again, where two becomes one… Thank you! PPS!

    24. This is only my second post on a story on this board and that fact says everything about how much I love this one. I needed to let you know about the lyrics of a song which fits your story amazingly well. I think it expresses the actual, though not yet fully revealed, feelings and thoughts of both characters:ALRIGHTWipe those tears away from your eyesJust take my hand, you don’t have tocryIt’ll be alright, baby, I’ll make italrightDon’t let the world get you downReach for the love that’s all aroundIt’ll be alright, baby, we’ll make italrightI’ll pick you up when you’re feelingdownI’ll put your feet back on solid groundI’ll pick you up and I’ll make youstrongI’ll make you feel like you stillbelongCause it’s alright, it’s alright, letme make it alright, make it alrightStay with me tonight, stay with metonightSometimes the words well they’re justnot enoughAfraid of feelings and in need of loveBR>To make it alright, baby, I’ll make italrightWhere will you run to, where will youhideI know the pain comes from deep downinside, but it’ll be alright, baby,we’ll make it alright, babyLet me make it alright, Make it alrightLet me make it alright, Make it alrightStay with me tonight, stay with metonightIt’s alright, it’s alrightIt’s alright, it’s alrightIt’s alright, to stay with me tonightI’ll pick you up when you’re feelingdownI’ll put your feet back on solid groundI’ll pick you up and I’ll make youstrongI’ll make you feel like you stillbelongCause it’s alright, it’s alright, letme make it alright, make it alrightStay with me tonight, stay with metonightIt’s alright, it’s alrightIt’s alright, it’s alrightIt’s alright, to stay with me tonightWipe those tears away from your eyesSorry for the long post!I’m looking forward to the next chapters.

    25. I agree with the sentiment that “I don’t know” just don’t cut it anymore. When they come back from the park I hope Tina DOES KNOW something cause they need to talk and she needs to come home. So it shall be written so it shall be done…lol. More please.

    26. God I love this fic Job. I love the pace of it, its not moving to slow, and its not moving too fast..just perfect! I want Tina to be sure of her decisions in life, and she needs Time to process her mistakes, and Bette needs time as well. LOve it. Please more!

    30. Well Jo, This tale is so full of mistakes and miscommunications from both Bette and Tina that it is no so refreshing and gut wrenching to see them both making the tentative steps back to one another. Bette was unravelled and destroyed by the loss of her love and her child while Tina, desperate to feel something different made the mistake of thinking that a man could provide it. I think that seeing the effect of their breakup with some distance has illuminated them it to appreciating what they originally had. Sad to realize that you don’t miss the water until the well run dry but that is exactly what has occurred here. The major bonus heer is that they are now ready to talk and tell each other the truth. What was once broken may be fixed with a lot of love and dedication, a little truth and reality check and a helluva load of hard work. I do think that the gals are up for this as the rewards outweigh the effort. Thank you for carrying on with this wonderful writing and overcoming the petty annoyances for some readers. I appreciate every word. Many thanks from Your Loyal Fan.

    31. Great they’re talking and you’re so right – this day and Tinas answers are huge steps for them. Good one mate…and I can’t wait for you to make all the pieces to the puzzle come together where they really belong!!!

    32. again…Great chaprter, thank you. Whenever I see a new chapter posted on this story I have to sit down and read it really slowly begging for the end of the page to be as far away as possible. I love everything about the story, the same events seen from 2 different POV’s and the powerful words get all my emotions going! Thank you again…

    34. I’m a long time reader- but first time commenter. I just wanted to let you know how amazing I think this story is. It pulls me in so much that I feel like I’m in the room watching bette and tina go through this. I can picture their faces and I feel what they are feeling. This all leads me to believe that you must be an amazing writer to make me feel all that. So keep it coming cause I’m a huge fan! take care!

    35. You did it again, Jo… (talking about that first-time-comment urge!) Right, I personnally think that “I don’t know” is a great answer to the question about Henry. I mean… If asked about Bette, I’m sure Tina would have a lot of things to say, but “I don’t know” surely wouldn’t be one of them…!

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