Past:2000

“I see a certain pattern here.” Shane snapped back to reality by the psychiatrists sharp and annoying voice. Shane looked at her. She didden`t look like a psychiatrist. She looked like something else, but Shane coulden`t categorize her. She was very attractive. She had a skinny figure, and Shane had always thought that she was skinny for a depressed reason. Problems at home? Shane wanted to ask. But thats simply not the sort of question you ask you`re psychiatrist. Shes suppose to ask you, and she`s gonna suck the whole ***** life story out of you. She wants to know how you do and deal everything. Every damn detail.

Shane was suppose to reply her sentence, but she didden`t knew what to say. Ofcourse it is a pattern, Shane knew that. She was very aware of her lifestory, and how it reflected on her way of living and the way she acted. She didden`t came here to live out her past again, she came to find a way to deal with it.
“A pattern?” Shane asked, pretending to not understand what she ment. The psychiatrist (Rose) crossed her legs slowly, and took a sip at her cofee. A tiny sip, like it was a drink. Hot, Shane thought and stared at Roses legs. “You don`t like talking much, do you?” Rose asked, and Shane didden`t answer. She felt like she was making fun of her, thought her expression were calm and neutral. Shane smiled and shook her head as she fumbeled with the buttons on her blazer.
“Do you have a lot of ***** parnters Shane?” Wow, that was not the question she wanted to hear. No chanse to get away, but really no point of lying. “Uhm..well there have been some” Shane said, as if there had been like two or five. “How many?” Rose asked, and Shane questioned if she had the right to ask her this. “Well I don`t count, but somewhere between 25-35 this year. Rose tried to not seeme shocked. “Ok” She said quickly, like it was normal. “Do you miss someone in you`re life? I mean..would you like to have a girlfriend?” she asked, knowing that Shane hated the subject relationships. “I guess I would” Shane answered, looking at Roses legs again. “Do you think it would be difficult to have a girlfriend?”. “NO” Shane said emberrast. “What about the people you work with? Do they know about you`re lifestyle?” Roses voice were starting to get sharper and louder in Shanes ears, but she knew it was just because she asked so annoying questions. “I`m working at ***** Mc Donals” Shane said irritated. “And no. They don`t. I haven`t told them.” Shane wanted her to change subject. Why did Alice convinse her to do this? She regretted it now. “Why?” Rose asked, taking another sip at the cofee. “Is it so damn important? It doesen`t matter”. The psychiatrist stopped her, “Oh yes it does matter. It matters for you. I think it would be a healing prosess for you to tell people around you. I think it might help you to be more open. You`re too private Shane.” Shane felt angery now, but she had to keep calm. It was by her own mistake that she was sitting in this sofa. She was the one that asked for an apointment. “Confessions might be good for my sould, but it`s ***** bad for my career” Shane lauged in sarcasm and tilted her head back, to get her hair away from her face. “I don`t think we are getting anyway with this Shane”. Shane watched the clock at the white wall, to show how little she cared about ending it earlier.
She felt like she acted like a ***** teenager, but she coulden`t stop herself from being sarcastic and grumpy. Not today, with all of these questions. “Next month then?” Shane asked suddanly being polite. “I don`t think you really need this. But call me if you think that this is something you want to continue. You aren`t exactly easy to deal with” she giggeled a little. “You have to give to get Shane” she said more serious. “I`ll keep that in mind” Shane said. She felt reliefed to be able to walk out of there, not needing to ever get back. “Thank you” Shane smiled and walked out the door.