My Dearest Tina

I have wondered so many times how to start this letter. I have started many times and pondered many times if it is the best thing to do. I no longer ponder that, you will not speak to me or see me, I not blame you, I have no choice. It has been two weeks since we last spoke, after you saw the lawyer. The longest two weeks of my life.

I wont keep you long but I write this for both of us. I simply want to say how sorry I am for what happened, how I made the biggest mistake of my life and regret hurting you so much I cannot begin to explain. You owe me nothing but I owe you an explanation. In no way do I mean it to excuse my actions, I am not trying to blame you. I accept full responsibility, but I feel it only right to try and explain if for no other reason than it will help you to move forward.

I lost my way, instead of coming to you I hid myself away. I should have done so many things differently. Faye Buckley and the protesters that night. That night I should have let myself go. I should have been with you at the Doctors, I am so sorry. I should have shared with you the burden I felt by being the sole financial provider and the fear I felt about us having a child. I should have stood up to my father and made you a priority always. I realize now how hollow work achievements are without the love of your life there to share it. This does not justify my actions. I know you must have many questions and have anger beyond what I can appreciate. I am a fool Tina, I know it now more than ever, a fool to do the things I did, to treat how I did and to lose you like I did. I accept that it is over between us. I cannot say what I would do in your place, probably the same.

I have not attempted to put right my friendships with the girls, in time I will. I have seen Shane occasionally. The only people I have to justify myself to are myself and you, I dont feel to be judged by others but I will accept you judgment. This brings me to the second main theme of my letter.

I understand you are carrying our child. I also understand that you are considering seeing other people. I want you to know I will not stand in your way. I will of course provide for you and the child. You may have whatever you wish in terms of the property and money. Please convey it in any means you feel comfortable and I will have the papers drawn up. I of course would like to be part of the babys life in any capacity you will allow me.

Love Always
Your Bette.

Bette walked over to Alices and placed the letter in the mail box. She breathed a sigh of relief, done she thought, its done. Bette slowly walked home and the relief turning to despair, how could I be such a fool to let things get this far out of control. I deserve all I get. She settled in front of the pool, watched the lights and stars and wondered what life held for her now. She knew one thing, she needed to get away, just a break.

Later that night Tina arrived home, saw a letter. She grabbed it mistakenly thinking it would be another bill for Alice. The moment she grabbed the letter, she knew otherwise. Bette, her scent, her stationary, her handwriting, Tina’s name. Bloody Bette, can’t she just leave me alone ? Tina went inside and thought ***** it, Bette had her chances if a former time, known as their life. Later, she thought, I’ll read it later.