Tina rolled over on her back and took a deep breath. The hot air in the stuffy room scratched her throat. She stared blankly at the ceiling, the afternoon sunlight slanting across the bed. It was useless trying to sleep, but just as useless to putter around the clean house. There were no chores to be done. She didn’t really watch TV anymore. And she definitely wasn’t going out.

A book. She could read something. Her eyes flickered over to her bookcase, but she wasn’t in the mood. Books were an escape from reality. And today, she felt like wallowing in her sadness, letting it seep down into her bones.

It wasn’t healthy, but it was a part of the grieving process, right? At least, Eric thought so. He let her sink further and further into isolation, meaning to let her grieve in peace, and also not having the heart or the will to make her pull herself together.

She didn’t care what happened. Her marriage was rather chilly at the moment. She was too tired to figure out whose fault that was. She had no job. She had pinned all her hopes on her baby, and now…

She felt the familiar ache in her arms. She wanted her baby. But it wasn’t to be. She’d lost little Sarah, three months and eight days ago. Her arms were empty and would stay that way.

Oh, Eric had made all the right noises about trying again, tried to lift her spirits with the baby they might have one day. He didn’t see, or chose not to see, that the only baby she wanted was the one that was gone forever.

The doctor and nurses had also been kind – gentle and reassuring. She was a healthy woman, still young. Tina could have another child, many children. They all said the same thing. Stillbirths just happened. One of those unexplainable things.

Tina had tried to do everything right. She’d thrown herself into preparing for motherhood with everything she had. Taken all the right vitamin supplements, eaten carefully crafted and nutritious meals, exercised, seen the doctors regularly and taken care of herself as much as possible. Pregnancy had been easy. Eric had even helped her do up the nursery, come to as many appointments as he could, and had played the role of expectant father to perfection.