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    Even the best falls down sometimes

    Where is Shane nobody knows,becuse she´s trying to keep aside and alone after all that she´d to pass first with Carmen and then with Paige,so now she´s not going to the planet only in her head is always thinking about all her mistakes,that she made,but everybody make mistakes all the time why she can´t do it ,then she ´s on a small town where there´s a lesbian club so she decided to enter and it´s full of hot girls ,then inmediately she´s surrounding with a lot of girls and with a big smile she thought why not

    Jenny went to a convention,her new book THE WOMAN IN ME it´s a best seller now ,when she finished to talk to her new book,she she discovered that she´s not alone on the conference room,on the left side of the room a myterious woman ´s sitting on a chair ,but she couldn´t see her face ,because the people then she tried to approach to her and when she swa Jenny exclaim oh my God is Mona Harrison,Mona´s very well known writer about science fiction ,with a couple of movies behind her ,so Jenny thought I must to talk to her,because nothing it´s impossible.Mona´s very sophysticated woman without codes,and a small or not detail she´s very beautiful too,so Jenny decided to follow Mona to the toilet ,then inside Jenny said excuse me,but I read all your books you´re amazing well thank you so much ,if you want that I sign you a copy ,oh I ´m sorry but I left the book in the car ok don´t worry (Jenny) I´m a writer too,really yes I wrote Lez Girls ,and my new book is The woman in me oh I´m sorry but I don´t read love stories.My books are not about love the first it´s about my own experience about my life ,a lesbian life and the second you´ll have to buy it.Oh I´m sorry but you know what I like the way that you talk so,look this is my card and this is my cell I would really like to talk to you ok yes ok I hope your phone call

    Where´s Max ,he´s in a motel with a man,the unknown guy said ,hey where are you going ,I´m sorry but I have a lot things to do I´ll call ok ,ok bye,when he´s driving he´s thinking about his fucking life He always remembered what Jenny said about his tranformation ,when he became to be more stronger Jenny said to Max I don´t want to be with you and Max asked why ,because I want a woman not a man ,so he´s still thinking about her words and he don´t know what to do about it everything is in his hands

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    Comments

    1. This story has potential but I think you should format it little better. The way it reads is a bit confusing. The dialogue needs to be seperated and have quotes so the reader can know that it’s actual dialogue and not part of the narrative. Maybe you should get a beta reader to assist you.

    2. Gotta agree with both the above. It doesn’t seem like English is your primary language. There are lots of gramatical and punctuation errors. I think the spell checker would like up the whole thing. You might want to ask a friend to review it first, then spell check, then post.

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