Whipping out her trusty notepad, scribbling furiously as she gulps down an entire cup of coffee, alice lets out an enormous sigh of relief. Finally, just finally she came up with a new topic for an article. Its been 3 days, and as a contractual freelance(dont ask why the contract.) she needed to just show something to the editors.

the art of (*****) lip reading.excellent..yes..uh-huh. Alice mumbled to herself.
Bette gave an exasperated sigh. She was used to alices sudden outbursts of ideas. Bette herself was susceptible of these artistic brainfreezes, but hers usually happened when she noted an awe-inspiring work of art.

alice, tell me, who exactly would want to read vulvas?

alice looked up, frowning slightly, are you insane? In order to give a woman total pleasure, you gotta read the lips babe! You know?

bette smiled to herself. Crazy alice. Theyd met at an art exhibition in new york, introduced by one of bettes associates. Alice was doing a write-up on the animal depictions in modern art, and bette was there to gain experience and meet other art curators like herself. Alice. She could talk the ears off of anyone. Bette loved her for her wit, a certain odd charm and most definitely for the in-bred quirkiness that that blonde ***** held in her. Actually, bette had a soft side for blondes. She felt they were more submissive, when it came to bedroom activities. Oh alice, always up to crazy schemes, you could count on her to entertain you.

hey! Snap out of it sister! What you ogling into empty space for? Anyway, I gotta run hon! Gotta meet up with some sassy-***** rising tennis star dimwitsomething Fairbanks, ermDianedeena.D-Whatever! I gotta run! Love ya babe! giving bette a quick peck on the lips, she bolted.

Totally swept up by the sudden flurry of activity, bette looked up from her papers and said, you have to go where now? as the sound of engines could be heard fading away.

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Damnit! Damnit! Why the ***** would all these people want to get banged down by cars at this moment??? WHY?? out of frustration, alice slammed her hand on the wheel, only causing an already stunned policeman to jump up in fright.

Why the ***** did this always happen when she needed to be somewhere? Her luck was awesomely – bad. Bloody sassy-pants tennis player would be sure to kick up a fuss. Sheesh. If only bette were here.

Bette. Growing up in a celebrity household was not alices idea of family security. Lenore(her mother) was too open about everything, so much so that all of them thought she was nuts. And her father, he just came and went, like it was a free-of-charge motel. Most of alices past relationships(believe me, there had been many..) had always been shortlived, and she felt that they all ended by bringing out the worse in her. But bette. Bette is the anchor in her life, holding her down to sanity. She knows that she tends to have hair-brain schemes, but she could always count on bette to bring her back down to reality.

Lately though, she felt like their relationship was kind of strained. They hadnt been talking much, no more going out for dinners on a whim, everything seemed to be planned way in advance, due to both of them having busy schedules. Bette had just gained control of her own gallery, the bette porter gallery, a little cosy place in the nook of Hollywood. Alice had played a big part in decorating the place, and she even wrote an article about it. Just great. Just when they hit their 8 month anniversary, she felt that it couldnt last a day. Great alice. Just great.

*****!!! Get that roadkill off the ***** road!!! she yelled, as paramedics carried an injured man off in a stretcher.

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hey hon, sorry im late! ***** Fairbanks never showed! Her agent said I had got the wrong club! What the *****! Ok, where we going on such a wonderful night like this? Hmm? alice put on her doe-eyed look on bette, trying to be alluring, and failing miserably, as bette just put a hand in her face, telling her to wait.

baby, I gotta scan through these quotations, not right now, please. Could u just order something in, the menus on the counter. Bette never looked up. It was her apartment after all, and alice mumbled something that sounded vaguely like *****, before sulkily making her way over to the couch.

*****. bette thought. She knew she forgot something. The anniversary. Damn it, porter, you screwed up once again! She turned around, only to find alice curled up like a kitten on the oversized couch. She looked so adorable, bette just couldnt resist pouncing on her.

baby, im sorry I forgot. Really. Just, Ive been so busy lately. I promise to make it up to you

promise-shmormise, whatever bette. Just let me watch these lame re-runs of jeopardy by myself, ok.? Look, that bald guy is winning

not giving a damn what alice had just said, bette started caressing her lover, slowly making her way down her neck, her lips brushing against the alices cheek. Her hands slowly made their way down to her *****, as she gave her the bette porter treatment. She knew alice just couldnt resist it. Alice looked up into bette;s eyes, then closed her own, taking in every moment. Bette knew how to push all the right buttons. Soon, both of them were making history with the loudest moans ever, and for once alice didnt say anything in retort.

ouch. OUCH! OUCCCHHH!!!!! Bette, get the ***** off of me! I love you baby, but I think im bleeding!

bette looked up, bewildered. Alice always had wrong timing. Damn it.

ok, Ill get you a tampon, just stay there, try not to stain the carpet!

im not bleeding down there!! What are you, mad? My heads bleeding! I dont think I need to stuff a tampon into it! What would it do? Stop the bleeding? Just let me get to the bathroom. Damn it.

Getting up, alice made her way unsteadily to the bathroom. Bette could hear the tap running, and alice cursing to herself.

honey, Ive got something to.OUCH! ..discuss with you. Its aboutFUCK! it smarts!…..us..

bette anticipated this moment, she just knew what would come next.