CHAPTER 12

Dante drives and doesn’t talk for a long time. He looks concentrated and pensive. I stare at the back of his head, his hair still wet after the shower. In the rearview mirror, I can see his eyes. They’re clouded with a cold tone of dark green and I wonder if I should tell him about my dream. I should tell him that we all depend on him but I am sure he already knows that and that’s the only reason why he’s worried.

His abrupt words snap me out from my meditations.

“Are guys scared?”, he asks, quietly, rhetorically.

Shane and I are sitting in the back seat of his car, our hands clasped together. Shoulder by shoulder, we look like one single entity that cannot be divided. Dante doesn’t seem bothered to look like a cab driver, alone in the front seat. From time to time, he just throws a glance at us through the rearview mirror and half-smiles sadly. I think he knows that we need this kind of contact. I think he knows that we’re risking something, and that we need to reassure each other somehow.

I let go a heavy sigh.

“I am. I mean, shouldn’t I?”.

He chuckles silently, bitterly.

“Yes, you should, Carmen. Fear is good. Keeps you alert, keeps you on your toes. You’ll need your fear. I won’t lie to you or Shane. What we are doing is dangerous and you guys shouldn’t be even involved. I am sorry you got involved in this”.

“Stop apologizing, Dante”, Shane states, calmly, “I don’t think any of us had a choice”.

He nods, slowly and slightly, his eyes still fixed on the dark road before him. Then, he talks again.

“Whatever happens, you have to do your best not to lose control. Okay?”.

“Okay”, Shane and I say at the same time. Shane circles my back with her arm and pulls me a little closer to her. Her grip is frantic, her hand is sweated.

“They’re playing with your minds. Whatever they say, try to keep control. Don’t lose your head. Keep your cool”, Dante repeats, pursing his lips together.

“Dante, I had a dream”, I say abruptly, and his eyes dart in my direction for a moment.