Tinas body was full of nervous energy and she had to expel it. She walked and walked. Eventually, she stopped to buy a bottle of water and found a bench to sit on. Her feet were tired and her right knee was beginning to ache. She had fallen on it two nights ago when she was drunk and the dog pulled her over. Then Mary helped her up and, uhh, dont go there, she thought. She rubbed her knee and cursed silently. Why did I come to Taos, again? Random reasons floated through her head – feeling adrift at her mothers house, Bette sent flowers, Mary, Bettes letter. Bettes letter. Tina opened her purse and took out the envelope. She had memorized most of the contents by now, she didnt need to open it, but she did anyway. She looked at the handwriting. The words. The signature. Shes so open here, Tina thought. Tina put down her water and wiped the moisture from her fingers on her pants. She laid the letter across her lap and put her right hand on top of it. She looked down at her hand with Bettes words peeking between her fingers. She closed her eyes and felt the paper beneath her hand. She imagined her skin absorbing the words into her body. After a moment she opened her eyes and looked around the sun dappled plaza.
I still have questions. If I think about that night I see her taking Candaces hand and a spear of ice shoots through me. She took a deep breath. I came here, I got angry, I ran away. *****. Her mothers words of encouragement came to her. She said I was doing the right thing. If I didnt come I would always wonder about it. So, if I go home now, what have I learned? Nothing. I couldve phoned that one in. I came to see if we have a future together. I should find that answer. We both need to find that answer.
Tina folded the letter carefully and put it back in its envelope. She tucked it safely into her purse. She drank the rest of her water then stood up and started walking again.
It was a long trip back to the hotel. On the way, she stopped and bought a smoothie for energy. By the time she reached the hotel the cup was nearly empty, her feet hurt and her knee was throbbing.
Tina entered the lobby and looked around for Bette. She found her in a little alcove off to the side, secluded but with a clear view of the front entrance. Beside her on the table was an empty cup like Tinas. Tina held her cup up as she approached and said, Great minds think alike.
Bette smiled. Mine needed some vodka, how bout yours?
Tina smiled. Yeah. She looked down at the cup in her hand. Her left hand jutted out into the air and she spoke. Im sorry about earlier, I just freaked out. I dont know what I was thinking, but seeing you just brought up a lot of emotions.
Bette looked at her tentatively. How do you feel now?
Calmer.
Good. She said sincerely.
And hot and tired and in need of a shower.
Bette looked at Tinas face. It was red from the sun and the emotion she had just expressed. Strands of her hair dangled over her forehead. Her eyes were shining. She looked beautiful.
Would you like to shower here, or at your mothers house?
The corner of Tinas mouth tipped up in a sly smile. She looked at Bettes face. It was pale from worry. Her hair was pulled back from her face. Her eyes were shining. She looked beautiful.
Here.
Relief flooded Bettes face. She stood up.
Ill make the necessary arrangements. She said with false formality.
Tina smiled. Ill get my bag from the car.
She turned and walked back toward the front entrance. Bette watched her go, so pleased to know that this wasnt good-bye. All Bette could think of was, shes gonna stay, shes gonna stay. Her heart beat quicker and she tried to rein in her excitement. Go easy, go easy, she thought, She could get angry again and leave.
Several minutes later Tina and Bette were standing in front of the door to Bettes room. Tina glanced at the number and then Bette opened the door and the sight of the familiar room made Tina exclaim, Oh my God.
Bette turned quickly. Whats the matter?
This is weird.
What is?
This is same room I stayed in with my mother.
Bettes looked at Tina in disbelief. No – are you sure?
Yeah. She looked around at the chairs and the desk and out toward the balcony. She glanced to her left behind the partial wall and saw the king sized bed. Im sure.
This is a weird coincidence.
Maybe its a sign. Tina said.
Bette looked at her for clues about what type of sign she meant.
Did you and your mother have a good time here?
Yeah, we had a great time.
Then you left behind good vibes.
I guess.
Its true. Even the bellboy mentioned it.
Tina scoffed.
No really, he brought my bags and he said theres good energy in this room. Im quoting him.
Tina smiled again. An easy, natural smile that felt as good to show, as it was to see. Suddenly Tina felt some energy, some particles charging in the space between them. Bette felt it too. She smiled back and met Tinas eyes. Part of her relaxed and part of herBettes cheeks flushed and she looked down at the ground.
Tina saw the color come into Bettes face and she knew something was stirring in her. She couldnt address it. She looked down at her bag. Uh I guess Ill find a spot for this and
Oh, let me make some room. Bette rushed to the dresser to clear a spot. She stood back to allow Tina plenty of room to pass her.
You know, I havent used any of my spa services today, so maybe Ill just change and go downstairs and you can shower and relax a little. Ill come back in an hour or so?
OK, sounds good.
Bette gathered some clothes quickly and went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She leaned back against it. This is going to be interesting, she thought.
On the other side of the door, Tina was thinking about energy and feelings and decisions and wondering where it was all going to lead them.