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Chapter 5 – The Dinner with the Gang
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In the conversation, Angie indicated that Bette had not dated much at all. It had been three years since she left and two since the divorce. She then remembered Bette’s eyes when she told her that Carrie had asked her to marry her, and she had accepted. She remembers her searching desperately for another drink. She remembered her eyes, trying to mask the devastation she was feeling in her very soul yet trying to appear happy for her and congratulating her and wishing her happiness. Her actions were the complete opposite from her words. Bette was crushed and Tina knew it. Why was Tina surprised by Bette’s response? She knew that Bette was still very much in love with her and there was no evidence that Bette had moved on with her life in any manner whatsoever.
From all the conversations put together, it became obvious to Tina that Bette still did not understand why Tina left. All she knew was that all the signs were that the love of Bette’s life was committing to another and destroying what little hope she had left.
Tina was now thinking about all the tender moments she had had with Bette. Their first kiss, their first intimacy, how she looked when she realized that Tina was pregnant for the first time, how she looked when she told Bette she wanted to move back in to their home and have their baby together, how she looked when they made love, how she looked when they danced at the wrap party for Lez Girls, how she looked when she told Bette about her job offer in New York and the look she had when they were trapped in the elevator for more than an hour and she declared that she wanted her back. Tina then thought about all the conversations she and Bette had had since their reconciliation ten years ago where they had shared their feeling, their fears, and their hopes. She remembers how much effort Bette made to make their life comfortable and to allow Tina to fulfill her desires to take the job in New York. She had made herself available to Tina and to Angie in New York by taking on some of the responsibilities of the household. She had been attentive and affectionate. And then I lost my job. I choose to take on the responsibilities of the house and of Angie. But that was only until I got another job. I never got another job, I just continued to be Angie’s caregiver and Bette’s wife. And I hid my unhappiness from Bette. I gave her the impression that I was living the life I wanted to live. Why didn’t I tell her? And then I blamed her for my unhappiness. And the truth is…I was responsible for my own unhappiness. Bette, Bette… what have I done?
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Hey Martha,
I’m very happy with the quick updates! And you post them right after my work, coincidence?
Tina has seen the light thanks to Angie and her response about Tina’s and Carrie’s engagement.
I’m happy that Tina takes responsibility for her actions and will look for a therapist to really work through her issues and as result will be happy with herself again, with or without Bette and a possible relationship.
Very wise of Bette to not give in or give Tina a definitely answer about her question if she wants to be in a committed relationship again. Tina has to show due to her actions she can be trusted and show that she really wants to be with Bette and not run away when they hit a rough pad.
Tina does the right thing to break it of with Carrie regardless of she will have a relationship again with Bette.
It was a good conversation between Bette and Tina, let’s see if they can work it out.
But first a family weekend in Big Bear, a moment to connect as a family again.
Bibi,
Thanks for the comment. Tina has done some thinking, and she is at least saying the right things. Now let’s see if her actions reflect her words. Yes, a family weekend at Big Bear Mountain.
Personally, I like that Bette is being an observant mom to Angie. That is one of the little things that I wanted to show in Bette. She knows her role as mom, and she see things which non-moms don’t see. A subtle reminder that Tina has not been around, and Bette has.
As to my posting schedule? I am on east coast of US. I presume you are in Europe somewhere. I have no idea what your schedule is, and my schedule is so sporadic that all of this is really coincidence.
I do appreciate you posting a response…. makes my day and my week and even my month.
I live in Europe, good guess!
Bette is an amazing Mom, knows her daughter really well.
It seems Tina is seeing the light and the errors of her ways ….. and starting to do something about it !!
It will be a long road! Bette needs to be sure, I don’t think Tina realised until now the devastation she caused Bette and Angie. Slow and steady, with full and openness to both is what Tina must concentrate on now. She will get there, she is so determined but it will take time. Therapy seems a good way to start so she can reevaluate her actions and the consequences. I do fell sorry for Carrie, she’s done nothing wrong but fall 8n love with a woman who’s still in love with her ex! That’s life but she doesn’t deserve the heartache that’s coming her way. Going to read on now !
Thankyou Janice
Sometimes, people are just blind to the effect they have on others. And of course, when people never deal with each other, there is no way to see what is going on with them.
Carrie too is a victim in this story. But you are right, people do not always get what they deserve, and life is often not fair. However, Tina would be doing Carrie wrong to continue her relationship with her knowing that Bette is whom she loves. Carrie deserves someone who loves her as much as she loves them and that will never be Tina.
Thanks for reading and for commenting….