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Chapter 20 – The love of your life
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”The first time Shane saw Oli and picked her up”
The first bathing, the first walk, the first laugh, the first holiday with the family, the hundredth grip of small hands on Bette’s curls. These photos showed all those happy six months that little Oli gave to this family.
”A tiny cap,” Bette ran her finger along the pattern of the baby’s bonnet and began to cry again, her head down.
”Sometimes I still think I’ll wake up and see or hear her,” her voice was low and a little shaky.
Angie sat closer, hugged her mother, and kissed the back of her hand.
”I believe she sees us. I don’t know, I’ve already said that for some reason I don’t remember much from that time, but I often have the feeling that she didn’t go anywhere. It’s like she’s always there for us”
”I have the same feeling. I really feel it sometimes, at certain moments,” Tina was still holding Bette’s hand, stroking it.
”Angel. Look at her, what a beautiful little angel?” Bette showed another photo of Oli in close-up, smiling and reaching for the camera.
After an hour and a half of memories, tears, sad smiles and hugs, they hung several photos of Oli in the house, placing them in frames. Now the three of them were lying in bed, playing videos that included Oli, there were a huge number of them. Videos that no one has ever reviewed, and who would have thought that they would have the strength and resource to do it tonight, but all three of them sincerely wanted it. Once it was all too much for them, an unaffordable burden, but tonight they felt that in fact it is catastrophically not enough for them. Too few photos, too few things, too few memories. They wanted to recall more, to see more. So they watched a variety of videos, continuing to be close to each other. After a while, Angie fell asleep, lying in the middle between Tina and Bette, who watched all the videos to the end, not wanting to stop and turn them off. It was almost 4 a.m. when Bette finally turned off the TV, looked at Tina, and spoke in a quiet, gentle whisper so as not to wake Angie.
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Hi Ada,
Wow, such a powerful chapter. From Tina’s conversation with Margot – I loved Tina telling her not to disrespect her wife. So glad they put up pictures of Oli; the scene with them going through her box was so well-written and moving. I felt like crying with them. When Bette gave the ring back to Tina – I was just blown away. Just a beautiful moment.
Such a nice words!
Thank you, Westy!
The sadness of going through Oli’s things and watching the home movies of Oli. Then hanging the pictures of Oli in the house. The acknowledgement that she was a part of their lives and loved is very emotional. Committing as a family that she will never be forgotten is a true step forward in the healing process. The hurt from her loss will never go away, but grieving and acknowledge her and the joy she brought to their lives while with them, helps the soul to adjust.
The returning of the ring to Tina is significant of Bette trust that Tina is truly back. Tina’s suggestion of an exchange of vows also helps to diminish Bette’s fears.
So they are going to allow a 16-year old to plan and organize their twenty-fifth anniversary celebration? Wow…. that is a leap of faith. “Just let me know what you and I’ll arrange it.”
Thanks for the chapter….
A leap of faith strengthens relationships with children, I think. Thanks, Martha!
Ada,
I wont quote this whole chapter back to ya, but it really was a very fulfilling meal.
Like that Tina met quickly with Margot after returning to LA for good having finished tasks in Canada. Liked that Tina confronted Margot asking her flat out “What’s the matter? Do you have a problem with my wife?” She was respectful knowing that she & Margot were going to be working on future projects, but there was NO mistaken that she was going to side with Bette first if there was a misunderstanding or conflict.
Bette continuing to confide honestly with Selma wanting to understand why jealousy continued to arise in her psyche when thinking about Carrie & Margo. And they seemed to work through that nicely. It’s a scary thing to wonder if your beloved might be having thoughts that there may be something or someone better than yourself.
You were masterful in writing about the coming together of this family to deal with the “memories” of a lost baby was exceptional. How they opened that sacred box of physical memories and all three of them let the tears flow freely on what the items meant, and the emotions that were attached. Quietly they removed all the items and to their great surprise, the weight of the sorrow of that even lifted from each one of them.
Now they would be able to still have joyful memories that NO longer had the sting of death in them. They were going to decorate their home with the art that was Ollie. Reaching this point in momentous in life.
And then, Bette taking the chance to bring forth the commitment ring that Tina had left behind when she left never asking about its whereabouts. Twenty-five years together could now be celebrated with renewal of vows in the presence of family & friends. How cool is going to be that Angie is “in charge” of that upcoming celebration!
Bravo to Angie!! Now if she can just keep Bette out of the middle of it, it will be good-to-go!!!
Angie is a good daughter :)
I love reading your opinion on this story. Thank you so much!
Hi Ada,
I am mostly a silent reader, but want to tell you that i love this story!!!
Did i read it correct it’s almost finished? Sad to read.
It’s all coming together, they have made a major progress, dealing with their own issues and together and feel confident, Bette, that their relationship will last this time.
I love your therapist Salma, she is great and knows what she is doing, and Bette the anti therapy lady likes her as person and has made so much progress.
Glad that Tina spoke with Margot and set bounderies between them. If Tina made one little hint she wanted more then friendship, Margot wouldn’t wait for a second and jump her. But Tina is madly in love with Bette and has no interest at all.
About Oli, i agree with DumplinT comment, i don’t know what i could add, well said!
And the return of the ring and what it means, beautiful, the circle is round again!
Thank you so much for this incredible story!
That’s very kind of you! Yes, the story is coming to an end and it is so strange for me, as if during this time it has become for me some kind of native or something :)
Thank you, Bibi!
I’m a silent reader and want you to know I love this story.
I’m very pleased to know this.
And I’m so glad you like it!
Thank you for the chapter!
It was a great idea to celebrate the twenty-fifth anniversary, but Angie as an organizer? Hmm, and Bette did allow her to do all work?
We’ll see what comes of it :)
Thank you for reading!
Also a silent reader and I have enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you! It’s important for me to know that.