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Chapter 20 – The love of your life
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She liked Salma as a person, not just as a therapist, and that was why their contact worked out so well after a while.
Today, Bette told Salma all about Margot, her attitude towards her and about what happened recently. Bette talked for about 20 minutes without stopping, it was clear that she had thought about all this for a long time and now wanted to share absolutely everything that was in her head.
”I just want to deal with what I’ve been feeling these days. Because I really don’t like this anger and negativity, especially when it comes to Tina. I don’t know, maybe I really am an arrogant tyrant and a monster who controls any actions of loved ones?”
”Do you consider yourself to be?”
”Well, I used to have a control problems, but I think I’m pretty good at it and not blocking Tina’s air. At least we don’t have the same difficulties as before”
”Were they frequent before?”
”Yes, they were frequent. I think that accounted for 90 percent of all our conflicts”
”Do you consider yourself a jealous person?”
”I’m jealous, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. i mean, yeah, jealousy isn’t the best feeling, especially if it’s excessive, but at some point in the past, Tina and I felt completely indifferent, and you know, compared to that, jealousy can even be called something pleasant”
”So jealousy is a good?”
”I don’t think it can be clearly divided into good or bad. When it comes to an unhealthy psyche or scandals, there is nothing positive in this, but if you look at it from the side of emotions, then jealousy is sometimes a necessary element in a relationship. Certainly, moderate jealousy”
”The sex you had that night, was it aggressive? What did it mean to you?”
”There was a thought in my head at the time that I wanted to show her that nothing could be better than this. It was a desire to possess, perhaps a desire to control, but it was with absolute love, not aggression”
”Did you think she might have thoughts that there might be something or someone better?”
Bette exhaled, took a few sips of water, and shrugged.
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Hi Ada,
Wow, such a powerful chapter. From Tina’s conversation with Margot – I loved Tina telling her not to disrespect her wife. So glad they put up pictures of Oli; the scene with them going through her box was so well-written and moving. I felt like crying with them. When Bette gave the ring back to Tina – I was just blown away. Just a beautiful moment.
Such a nice words!
Thank you, Westy!
The sadness of going through Oli’s things and watching the home movies of Oli. Then hanging the pictures of Oli in the house. The acknowledgement that she was a part of their lives and loved is very emotional. Committing as a family that she will never be forgotten is a true step forward in the healing process. The hurt from her loss will never go away, but grieving and acknowledge her and the joy she brought to their lives while with them, helps the soul to adjust.
The returning of the ring to Tina is significant of Bette trust that Tina is truly back. Tina’s suggestion of an exchange of vows also helps to diminish Bette’s fears.
So they are going to allow a 16-year old to plan and organize their twenty-fifth anniversary celebration? Wow…. that is a leap of faith. “Just let me know what you and I’ll arrange it.”
Thanks for the chapter….
A leap of faith strengthens relationships with children, I think. Thanks, Martha!
Ada,
I wont quote this whole chapter back to ya, but it really was a very fulfilling meal.
Like that Tina met quickly with Margot after returning to LA for good having finished tasks in Canada. Liked that Tina confronted Margot asking her flat out “What’s the matter? Do you have a problem with my wife?” She was respectful knowing that she & Margot were going to be working on future projects, but there was NO mistaken that she was going to side with Bette first if there was a misunderstanding or conflict.
Bette continuing to confide honestly with Selma wanting to understand why jealousy continued to arise in her psyche when thinking about Carrie & Margo. And they seemed to work through that nicely. It’s a scary thing to wonder if your beloved might be having thoughts that there may be something or someone better than yourself.
You were masterful in writing about the coming together of this family to deal with the “memories” of a lost baby was exceptional. How they opened that sacred box of physical memories and all three of them let the tears flow freely on what the items meant, and the emotions that were attached. Quietly they removed all the items and to their great surprise, the weight of the sorrow of that even lifted from each one of them.
Now they would be able to still have joyful memories that NO longer had the sting of death in them. They were going to decorate their home with the art that was Ollie. Reaching this point in momentous in life.
And then, Bette taking the chance to bring forth the commitment ring that Tina had left behind when she left never asking about its whereabouts. Twenty-five years together could now be celebrated with renewal of vows in the presence of family & friends. How cool is going to be that Angie is “in charge” of that upcoming celebration!
Bravo to Angie!! Now if she can just keep Bette out of the middle of it, it will be good-to-go!!!
Angie is a good daughter :)
I love reading your opinion on this story. Thank you so much!
Hi Ada,
I am mostly a silent reader, but want to tell you that i love this story!!!
Did i read it correct it’s almost finished? Sad to read.
It’s all coming together, they have made a major progress, dealing with their own issues and together and feel confident, Bette, that their relationship will last this time.
I love your therapist Salma, she is great and knows what she is doing, and Bette the anti therapy lady likes her as person and has made so much progress.
Glad that Tina spoke with Margot and set bounderies between them. If Tina made one little hint she wanted more then friendship, Margot wouldn’t wait for a second and jump her. But Tina is madly in love with Bette and has no interest at all.
About Oli, i agree with DumplinT comment, i don’t know what i could add, well said!
And the return of the ring and what it means, beautiful, the circle is round again!
Thank you so much for this incredible story!
That’s very kind of you! Yes, the story is coming to an end and it is so strange for me, as if during this time it has become for me some kind of native or something :)
Thank you, Bibi!
I’m a silent reader and want you to know I love this story.
I’m very pleased to know this.
And I’m so glad you like it!
Thank you for the chapter!
It was a great idea to celebrate the twenty-fifth anniversary, but Angie as an organizer? Hmm, and Bette did allow her to do all work?
We’ll see what comes of it :)
Thank you for reading!
Also a silent reader and I have enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you! It’s important for me to know that.