It Still Hurts

Chapter Two


Bette couldnt face the world, she didnt want to. She called Franklin himself and told him she needed some time off. He agreed but he didnt know it wasnt because of the show taking its toll on her.

Not knowing what to do or even think about how to start anywhere kept making Bette crazy. Walking around all over her house with the phone in hand pushing the talk button, then the end button just as fast was all she could do. Alices number, Shanes, and Tinas number, kept running through her mind. She didnt know if Tinas was the one she should start with, but she had a lot to lose if she didnt call her first.

She called Tinas phone knowing she wouldnt answer it so all she could do was leave her messages.
This is Tina, leave a message and Ill get back to you. Bette thought she knew what she wanted to say, but it couldnt come out.
T, its me, I know you cant right now and maybe not for awhile, but Im sorry. I know you cant take my words right now, but please take these, I love you with everything I have.

Knowing she had the next two weeks, she did not want to do anything, see anyone but her, or know of anything if it wasnt about Tina.
Her friends didnt look for her yet and she couldnt look at them in the face as well.

A few days later.

Bette woke up to Alice calling for her to open up, she didnt get up from the couch, she just rolled over. To herself she said,
Just go away Alice.
Dammit Bette I see you open up.
Putting the pillow over her head, she just stayed there and then like magic Alice was opening the door.
What the ***** Al?
Exactly, what the *****. I have her key. She knew Alice wouldnt hold her tongue. Cant sleep by yourself huh?
Not now.
Jesus Bette, I dont know. What the ***** is going on huh? I mean really, Porter,
Bette stayed sitting while Alice had the door open as she looked outside.
Alice, I dont know, but I am not ready to explain to you and the girls yet. Not until I can figure it out myself and tell her.
Bette, you really messed up you know, and as much as we love you,
Al, I wont be around for awhile.
She knew Bette, but leaving at a time like this wasnt a possibility.
What do you mean. You cant just skip out.
Im not skipping out, Im just not going out thats all.
Youre going to have to face her sometime, then us, then everybody else.
I know and I understand so I just want to make it easier for you,
Easier for you more like it. Bette just pleaded with her eyes as Alice just rolled hers.
You guys you stay with her, make sure shes ok for me, and as soon as I can fix this, I promise to make it up to all of you,
Im just saying Bette, were still your friends too, you cant get rid of us that easy you know,
I know its just I need you to be with her.
You need us to you know, I just dont understand why its hard for you to say so but in reality she knew why she couldnt say so. Anyhow I didnt want to come by and do this, but I need some of Tinas things.
Alice, dont,
Im sorry Bette, but I have to, and walked off to collect some things. When she was done with some stuff before she could leave,
Alice will you give her this, and handed her a letter.
Bette, she didnt let her finish.
Please ok.

Hey Tina, Im back, where do you want me to put your stuff, she didnt say anything of the letter and thought she would let her find it on her own.
Heres fine. Thanks Alice.
T, its ok. I know, I have to run a few errands but it wont take me long ok.
All right, and wondered why all of a sudden Alice was in such a hurry. She began to go through some of her shirts when it fell out.
She still wasnt ready so she just put it up hoping one day that she would be.

Bette was going out of her mind in her house so she went to pick up her paper work that needed to be done. It was all she could do from just losing it completely.

Bette heres some more paperwork.
Thanks James. You know what why dont you take the rest of the day off, you deserve it.
Bette, I dont mean to pry, but are you ok. The last few days youve been a little off, and you know I can tell that somethings up.
James Im okay, just still exhausted, but you go ok.

Bette thought, even he knows and he wanted to tell me I look bad, but he couldnt. I am even more lost than before, how could I do this? With that she picked up the phone,

Hello,
Alice,
Hey you,
Hey yourself, um is she there,
Yeah but,
I know I just needed to know, will you tell her I love her.
Bette, please dont hurt yourself anymore than… I um went to go pick up some more stuff ok.
Just tell her ok. Bye

She couldnt have Tina the one to leave her house so she planned to do something about that.

Tina had her earphones on laying outside just thinking about her letter.

You still have all of me she does Tina thought as she saw Alice hang up the phone. Turning her music off,

Was it her Alice?
Yeah, you know what she said,
Yeah I know,
Look T, I know this is hard, I can see it, but let us take you out, even for just a little while, I really need to see you smile ok.
Alice I cant.
T, its been weeks, please just for a little while, ok.
Alice,
Yeah.
Could you do me a favor?
Sure Tina, anything. So Tina got up, got the letter and handed it to her,
Tina I dont think I should.
I need you to, so Tina sat as Alice began,

Dear Tina,

I love you. I know your mind is everywhere right now, but just keep that in there ok. I havent had the nerve to approach you again because I cannot take the pain in your eyes. I cannot take that I am the one to put that very pain in the eyes that I love so much. Its been only days, but this eternity is not one that I can live with if its without you.

Alice had to pause, she couldnt take Bettes honesty for Tinas love just yet. She was hurting, but she kept hope. With tears in her eyes, she kept on.

You are my love, my heart, and everything in me is all you. I know my actions have caused doubts in some parts of us and for that I am so sorry. I felt lost then and now I am more lost than ever. I can never take back or rewind what I have done but I want to take away the pain and aching in your heart. I will give everything and anything for even just one more moment with you. I know I have a lot to repair in me, and in you and mostly in us, cause I believe in an us and I cannot believe in anything else. My heart is yours, my love has always been yours. Time I can give you, but space I just cannot do it, for that means that then you will realize you dont need me as much as I need you.

Loving you Always and Completely,
B.

As if on cue, Alice got up placed the letter on the couch and walked out, Tina sat looking at the ink words, that had been written so perfect, so heartfelt for her.

Before you go James, is that all the paperwork I need?
Yeah?
Then Im back to the house, will you walk me out.
Sure, boss lady, it would be my pleasure
Ok just give me a sec ok.

On the drive home she turned it up and let the words fill her and hit her once again.

Its down to thisIve got to make this life make senseCan anyone tell what Ive doneSo far down away from the sun againCan anyone see me down hereTheres nothing left to lift me upSo far down

Thinking how she could get Tina back into their home and her not in it was something she was going to have to do.

Kit hey its me. I need a favor