Fan Fiction
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Breathe– Chapter 21
As she followed James to the back of the apartment, Bette took in the violent story that each room told. Sketching the hallway in her notes, she marked each splatter and smear of blood with a small X. A small streak of blood partially hidden by a throw rug in the hallway drew her attention.
Kneeling down she carefully pushed the rug to one side with her pen and studied the. long, narrow streak of blood that partially blended into the grain of the woooden floor.
“James, hold on,” she said wanting to stop him before he reached the bedroom. With her elbows resting on her knees, Bette looked up at James and nodded towards the streak now uncovered and more visible.
He kneeled next to Bette and took a closer look at the stain that had drawn Bette’s interest. Their eyes met, and without exchanging a word, Bette rose and walked with purpose to the battered body of the victim.
She nodded at Jeff Kaplan, one of the finest forensic pathologists on the City of Seattle’s payroll. His grim look told Bette that this victim had suffered more than the others.
“What do you have so far, Jeff?” she asked quietly, her voice reflecting the sadness she felt for each woman who had died so violently and for no other reason that to satisfy the selfish fantasies of a madman.
He sighed heavily and used the back of his gloved hand to wipe away beads of sweat that covered his forehead and trickled down his neck, leaving a damp stain on the cotton collar of his shirt.
Bette couldn’t help but notice that since Jeff’s wife had given birth to their twin daughter’s shortly after the second murder, each new case seemed to weigh more heavily on him than the one before.
Bette had no doubt that as he measured each deep cut, documented each blow, and collected evidence from the young women’s cold bodies, he thought of his own daughters and how little he could do to really protect them.
While he could teach them to make good decisions and fear strangers, each of these women had been killed in the comfort and safety of their own home, behind locked doors, far from the dangers of the street.
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(51 votes, average: 3.92 out of 5)
This rivals anything in the mass market today. Great job. Enjoy your date!!
excellant writing!
One word … SPELLBINDING!!
I think thgis is an amazing story, love all the intrigue, can’t wait to find out what happens, I hope you post a new chapter soon.
Never been much into cop mysteries but this one is really entertaining and compelling. Thanks Sox.
OMG… i will have no nails left… he is following them… he was probably watching them make love … fuck i hope he is not at the house… SOX… your killing me…ok bad choice of words… but i do love this story… ok baily don’t eat anything from strangers… and stay close to tina…
ENJOY YOUR DATE… LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR NEXT POST…
HOLLY SHIT!!, damm i think that is the word I will start using for this story. wow this was a awesome chapter, I wonder if he has been in bettes house??
That is a scary though I find myself looking around my house. I hope bette starts to realize she is followed and starts to know what is surrounding her. So that means no more sex in the fucking park. LOL
So I think we need a chapter of the killers thoughts. As much as it scares the shit out of me you have such a great way of bringing him out.
Have fun with dinner hope the movie your watching is a comedy or something nice lol
Sox, another fantastic installment. Well, this is the ultimate in personal for Bette now. I’m sure she has a new appreciation for the danger that this guy presents to her and Tina. Will that knowledge increase her need to keep Tina close or will it keep her away from home longer working harder to solve the case?
Tina has to leave the house sometime, how will she stay protected? When will she recall the guy on the lake and tell Bette.
The stress on this new relationship is mind-boggling, I am still holding out hope that Bette will retire from the force after this.
Oh My god!!! There I was wondering why he moved the body. I so didn’t see the twist at the end coming…So he is playing a deadly game of cat and mouse with them now!
This story just gets better and better. You really have me gripped! Thank you
Wow…this is absolutely riveting! Excellent Work. Thanks so much for posting tonight! I hope you enjoyed your evening out.
Thank you Thank you Thank you…for this great story. I just can’t wait for Bette to get the son of a bitch
Absolutly amazing story. hopefuly they catch this guy before any harm comes to Bette and Tina. Bette is so sweet and loving towards Tina in this story, it’s so tuching.
Wow your story is so good…your writing is excellent..im so loving the suspense and all the drama! i cant wait to read another chapter.
Maybe you should consider a whole series of Bette the Cop paperbacks. I’d buy ’em. This is really getting good. Post again soon.
Damn, this is great and is way better than watching CSI (and I love that programme). Post next episode sooooonnnn, please :)
Absolutely fantastic and incredible – I am in awe. Thanks for posting sooner and of course I anxiously await the next post. You’ve got a full out page turner going her, girl!
soc, OMG. im never buying another p.c. novel until you are published. this is fantastic. where are you coming up with this stuff. what goes on in your – m – (i figure that you know what m stands for, hehe) moms mind. stuff like that isnt in my mind. he is pure evil. poor bette, she is shitting her pants about now. does she tell tina? oh my oh my. have fun on your date. please post real soon. this is – i dont know what to call it. ;D
This story is excellent!!!Please post soon i can hardly wait.
Sox,
Apologies as life has gotten in the way for me too lately.
This means that I have only caught up in this fabulous fan fiction today.
Firstly congratulations on the wonderful amount raised for a worthy cause: Autism. I am sure that this money will go some way to educating and alleviating pain and suffering of so many.
Secondly, what can I add to this every growing praise?
I defy anyone not to be hooked and hypnotized by your brilliance.
The gentle and tender tryst between Bette and Tina cemented their union. It was wonderfully written and should be used as a example of how to craft a love scene. The bump and grind (although often very enjoyable in other stories) was not needed in this tale. It would have lessened the impact of the moment.
Souls, minds, and spirits connect through love while bodies bond through sex.
As for the latest heinous crime; the juxtaposition of Bette and Tina beginning their lives together as the most recent victim lost hers was astounding. Such poignancy in a detective drama was a delight.
I take great pleasure that Bette has her game hat back on while still reveling in the afterglow. Only now will we see how her astute intellect puts all the clues together and hopefully prevent further victims by catching the perpetrator.
I don’t think Olivia Benson has a look with Bette on the case. Might be worth a guest appearance and mix things up a little. Just a random thought.
As for the quality and artistry of this story, I am overwhelmed by your intelligence and virtuosity. The majestic magnificence is there as each scene reveals it’s purpose and intent. The character’s are well rounded and believable in horrific circumstances. The plot exposes a sliver of information at a time. More questions are raise with each solution.
Truly a work of genius.
Thank you for taking the time to create this marvel which has brought such joy and pleasure in to so many lives.
Your Loyal Fan.
You have had me hooked on this story from the first chapter. Your writing is brilliant. It’s raw and emotional. The sadness, the love, the fear.. it’s all tangible. I look forward to seeing where you will take us.
Oh. My. God. Fixation upon fixation. First Tina is faxated on Bette and now the killer has set his sights not only on Tina. He obviously recognises Bette is an obstacle between him and Tina and he’s out for them both. It looks like he might focus on Bette for a bit taunting her. Is he starting to make mistakes apart from the one at the dock? This is a really really good effort. Wonderful.
OK, I thought the understanding was that you write, and I will take care of your hubby? I can do dinner and a movie, really. But alas, I guess you do deserve some time to relax. Writing these intense chapters must be emotionally exhausting for you!
It’s sad to think that the only way we are able to travel in time, is by way of investigating a crime scene. No tears in the time/space continuum, just the methodical examination of tangible evidence. Your meticulous description of details gave us a chilling visit to the recent past. It was as if you were standing there watching the scene unfold as James recounted it to Bette. Now, if only we could find a way to go back in time to undo the damage.
Working in a field like this brings you in touch with some of the worst that your fellow man has to offer. I thought the way you played that point against Jeff was brilliant. It’s a job until we have something personal at stake.
The killer is getting more brazen in his cockiness. The picture…his new calling card? Is he trying to lure Bette into challenging him, is he somewhere watching, is he at that very moment taking a picture of Tina, or is it a warning to back off? A God complex may feel good to him at the moment, but it will be his downfall – I hope.
Your story is a clear reminder that we often take those that we care about for granted. Life is both precious and tenuous to say the least, and deserves more attention that we sometimes give to it in our busy days. It has given me pause to seek out those that I love and hold them just a little tighter tonight. Thank you.
Just when you think this brillaint story can’t get any better – it does!
Hope Bailey is a good guard dog, He is stalking them. he knows where Bette lives and everything. This was excellant, Love stories like this.Full of love,saddness and a good thriller. THANKS
Oooh, chicken skin! I am just shaking, that is one sick man! I hope Bette made sure someone is protecting Tina!
This is good! Thanks!
I will second the spellbinding comment.. I was holding my breathe when she was talking to Tina – I knew there was some sick connection.
photo of bette in the victim’s place?? Eeewww..sure does send chills down my spine…that sick bastard!!wow..i hope bette’s house is secured..
Tina (and Bette) are in so much danger. Please keep them safe. Absolutely compelling story.
WOW!!! What more can I say, but that. Sox, this is so intense. It’s great!
That was great!!!!!!!!!!!!! have a nice date
youhoo, back with the mystery!!!
This chapter was excellent, there was a good amount of suspense and drama and as usual it left me wanting more!
Another chapter soon?
I hope they catch the sicko before he kills anyone else.
HOLY SHIT!! this is way better than CSI. lol.. great update…as always. soooo cant wait for the next one, but im leaving for the weekend!!! what am i gonna do? nnnnoooo…lol please post again soon (even if i wont be here to read it)
This is just awesome! Wow! I love this story and the way you’re writing it!
It sort of reminds me of that film with Angelina Jolie… what was the name? Oh, Taking Lives! Not that I’m comparing Angelina and Jennifer… anyway, that’s not the point.
Point is your fic is even better than that film cause we are much more involved with the story, the characters and everything.
You succeed in dragging us into the story in a way most detective stories fail to do (at least for me…) so congratulations! =D
That was really, really good…it reminds me a bit of the orginal Manhunter film with Brian Cox and William Peterson…that film gave me goosebumps just like this chapter…
Thank you.
Great. I love a good mystery with suspense,love, sex, all of it. Go get him Bette.
This is scary!