Sweet Porter. I come to you for help and you get sarcastic. Leave the sarcasm to me. It doesnt become a new mother.

Im sorry. How is this? So Alice, is everything all right? Is there anything I can do to help? She really does the passive aggressive behavior well. Its a strong suit of hers.

Yeah, much better. Can we get on topic here?

Yes.

Thank you. I took a big breath in, trying to gather my nerve at announcing that I have become my own worst nightmare, a needy, clingy, dependent, high maintenance girlfriend.

So, is this about you smothering Dana and needing to figure out how to change before you kill the best relationship you ever had?

Damn! Mothers do know everything!! How the ***** did you know what I was about to say?

Did you think that we havent noticed anything? Please, Shane, Tina and I have been discussing doing our own intervention for you! Its not like it could be missed. Great, I thought that at least I was only getting on Danas nerves, not everyones. Now everyone thinks Im a freak. So much for the together image.

So what do I do? My brain knows this is badvery, very bad, but I cant seem to stop. The more I focus on relaxing, on letting the mouse breathe, the more I smother it!

The mouse, Alice? Have you totally lost your mind? Who would have thought that Dana would get a Steinbeck reference and Bette wouldnt, thats a shock. Maybe we are near some electrical cluster thats ***** with all of our brains. That would explain the last month.

Never mind, not relevant. You got my point though, right?

Yes, I did. Do you know why youre acting like that?

If I knew that, does she think Id be here making a fool of myself? No Bette. That I havent figured out yet.

In my opinion, if you dont get the motivation, as much as you try to fix the problem, it will keep coming back. Like taking painkillers without understanding the reason youre in pain. Youre trying to fix the symptom not the cause.

Makes sense. So how do I figure that out?