Chapter 73

Jake woke up with a song in his heart. ‘Bette starts looking for another Min Pin today – yeeehaaa!’ He jumped out of Jackie’s bed and ran down the hall to Bette and Tina’s room. He stopped short – the door was closed – AGAIN! ‘Bette..Bette…Bette!’ Jake scratched at the door. ‘Come on Bette – OPEN UP!!!!! You’re killing me here – you DO know that don’t you?’ Bette finally opened the door and Jake ran inside. He jumped up on the bed and started kissing Tina.

“God Jake…knock it off ok?” Tina did her best to show her annoyance – but Jake was just being too damn cute to stay mad at him. She smiled at him. “So my man – you and Bette are puppy hunting today huh?”

“That’s right lady – puppy hunting.” Jake spun around on top of the bed. He danced. And in his head he sang:

Im going out tonight–Im feelin alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise—really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout

No inhibitions–make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I aint gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time

Bridge: (I’m dancin’ on one!)
The best thing about being a Min Pin
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and…

Chorus: (I’m singin’ it man!)
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy–forget Im a lady (What can I say?)
Mens shirts–short skirts (You remember the last time Mary Grace puppy sat right? LaCage!)
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild–yeah, doin it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action–feel the attraction
Color my hair–do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free–yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a Min Pin!

The JAKE needs a break–tonight were gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We dont need romance–we only wanna dance
Were gonna let our hair hang down

(bridge)(I’m dancin’ on one!)

(chorus)(I’m singin’ it man!)

(bridge) (I’m dancin’ on one!)

(chorus)(I’m singin’ it man!)

I get totally crazy
Can you feel it
Come, come, come on baby
I feel like a Min Pin!!!!!!!!

Bette grinned at Jake. “Guess what Jakeman? Mary Grace is going with us today. Won’t that be fun?”

“Yeah – fun Bette – FUN! Do we get to go to McDonald’s too!?”

“And guess what Jake – we’re going to McDonald’s for lunch – what do you think guy? Sound like a plan?”

“Bette – sometimes you are just one step behind …but I love you anyway!” Jake danced around Bette’s feet. “ROAD TRIP – HE HE – ROAD TRIP!”

Bette and Jake walked across the backyard to pick up Mary Grace.

“Hey Jakey! Hey Bette!”

“Hi sweetie…you ready to go on a road trip?”

“Yup….what exactly are we doing on this road trip Bette?”

“It’s a surprise sweetie!” Bette finally knew something Mary Grace didn’t. She was very proud of herself. “We’ll have alot of fun – I promise you that…”

“You know – I’m only eight…so I need to sit in the back seat Bette.”

“Yup – I know that….”

“You know that an air bag could kill me right? Have you ever heard of next generation air bags Bette? They’re the kind you can turn off so that if a little kid – like me – sits in the front seat – they won’t get killed when you have a head on collision.”

“Mary Grace – I’m not planning on having a head on collision.”

“Do you think anyone ever really plans to have a head on collision Bette?”

“You tell me.” Bette knew she had lost this one before it started.

“Gee Bette – that would be dumb wouldn’t it? I mean – unless the person had some kind of a death wish or something…”

“Now where did you hear that?”

“One of my brothers got one of my other brothers mad and he said that he must have a death wish or something…”

“Oh – I see…”

“So – what about snacks – you bringing snacks – gotta have snacks Bette…”

“Sweetie – we’re going for about three hours…”

“And your point would be…?”

“Ok – snacks – we’ll get snacks – but no spilling in the convertible ok?”

“And if I spill – then what?”

Bette just looked at Mary Grace and let out another heavy sigh. “Then I guess…oh never mind….let’s not think about it ok?.”

“Well that’s dumb – you need to be prepared Bette…you have alot to learn before the babies are born…”

“Evidently! And I’m sure you are going to teach Dylan and Taylor everything you know aren’t you?”

“Well YEAH – DUH – they need to hang out with a big kid to learn the ropes don’t ya think?”

Bette let out another heavy sigh. She had to wonder if she was capable of this type of conversation when she was eight. She thought to herself that she was probably still eating play dough and dirt at eight. Kids these days seemed to be way tooooooo sophisticated.

“Ok sweetie – do you need to visit the potty before we go?”

Mary Grace glared at Bette – “THE POTTY! Jeez Bette – if I didn’t like you so much I might have to kick you right now! THE POTTY! I’m eight. THE POTTY? Did you hear that Jake – what is it with these adults? THE POTTY? Are you trying to insult my intellegence or what? THE POTTY?”

“Ok – I take it back – do you need to hit the head?”

“Hit whose head Bette – what does that mean? Do you just go around hitting people on the head? That’s rude.”

Bette let out another heavy sigh. “DO YOU HAVE TO PEE BEFORE WE LEAVE?”

“Um well – yeah – I guess so!”

“Well go – so we can get out of here ok?” Mary Grace trotted off into the house to use the bathroom. Bette hung her head and thought to herself about how long the day was going to be. “I am not going to survive the next three hours – no way – I’m dead!” Bette looked at Jake. “Thank GOD you can’t talk – if I had to spend the day with the two of you talking to me I’d die!”

Jake looked at Bette. “I talk – you choose not to listen!” Jake stared at Bette.

“Now Jake – don’t start that staring ***** again – I’m paranoid enough!”

TBC