Fan Fiction
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Tina and Fabian had just been with the doctor for the results. They didn’t have HIV, luckily. They walked back to Bette’s room together.
Fabian: Man, I’m so concerned about Mom…
Tina: She is a strong woman.
Fabian: Yes, but, I mean, when she bleeds we can’t even help her… that’s just… weird.
Tina: I know… It’s not easy.
Fabian: It’s certainly not easy for you to. Everything will get much more complex for you.
Tina: Yeah, it will…
They got into Bette’s room.
Bette: Hey, what did the doc say?
Fabian: We don’t have it.
Bette sighed.
Bette: Thank God!
Tina got over to Bette and kissed her on the lips.
Tina: And what said the doctor about your wounds?
Bette: They are healing correctly and tomorrow evening I can go home.
Bette smiled.
Fabian: That’s good.
He walked over to his mother and Tina sensed that Fabian would like to be alone with her.
Tina: I’m going to get something to drink.
Tina walked out of the room and Fabian sat on the edge of Bette’s bed, facing his mother and taking her hand.
Fabian: I was so scared to lose you, Mom.
Bette squeezed his hand.
Fabian: I already lost Mama, I couldn’t lose you to.
Bette had a tear running down her cheek.
Bette: You aren’t going to lose me just yet…
Fabian whipped Bette’s tear away.
Fabian: I hate that Eric. If I get my hands on him…
Bette smiled.
Bette: You already hit him… Let it be.
Fabian: Who is so evil to give someone a disease? I just can’t get my head around it!
Bette: I know baby. But we can’t do anything about it now. Let’s just see if there comes a trial and how that ends.
Fabian: I want him to rot in jail.
Bette: Yeah, me to. I think that it will be hard on Nathan tough.
Fabian: Yeah, if he wants to see his Daddy, someone should take him but whom?
Bette: No idea… Let’s not worry about that now… Later today The Gang will come and visit.
Fabian: Nice, that will be fun.
Bette; I hope so. I need some fun…
Fabian: Mom?
Bette: Yeah?
Fabian paused. He had never said this to his mother before.
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Oh, drama rama, never boring in this story;)) Wonder how will they make it. Post soon;)
JBL: Yeah, I know that can be annoying, but when you read it in books and stuff it doesn’t disturb you does it?^^ You just have to figure out to find a way to make it sound natural and I’d really like it if you’d try :D :D
From the medical point of view, an HIV test is more dependable after the patient do an RNA test after 10 days of the day he/she had contact with an infective source (blood, body fluids etc.). Although this method is more costly and it is used rarely in specialized units only. The most secure way to find about if someone is HIV+ is the special test of antibodies for HIV (ELISA, Western Blot), and it has to be 2 months after the contact with the infective source. I don’t know if this helps your story’s plan. What’s bothered me more though, is how your fictional doctor announced the news about the AIDS. There is something called “medical privacy” or “medical secret” (I don’t know the right term in english) and doctors can’t say anything about a patient’s situation. I know the problems that this causes to the family and friends of the patient, but it’s forbiden by law to share the patient’s condition with anyone. Especially patients who are examined for AIDS, doctors can only announce the results with the patient, not with parents, not with spouses and definately not with sisters or girlfriends!About the ratings, you really can’t help how people see your story. You just have to do your best. If it is bothering you, you have the choice to remove them. Just choose “no” at the available option when you log in. Putting the AIDS thing asside, the story is intriguing
5 stars! Loved it!
why do i have the feeling that Tina is already expecting. or mayb that is just me jumping the gun!
The ratings likely have to do with the plausibility of Bette being HIV +ve so soon… there’s suspension of disbelief for the sake of enjoying the story and then there are “WTH?” moments. There have been a few so far, but as Tina said, “[she] married the wrong guy. Shit happens.” I’m not trying to stifle your creativity, JBL… I’m just trying to explain how the ratings may have come about. I’m still reading to see how it goes, though, so I’ll try not to be silent in future. You have a lot of imagination so it’ll be interesting, no doubt. Cheers!
Yikes…I meant JP 22! Sorry about that.
I like the story and know it is plausable; keep going you are talented
JPss said it best. I love your stories too…but the HIV thing so fast was a head snapper for me…and I suppose others. It’s fanfic…creativity is always best…but a little grounding in reality always helps the reader stay emotionally invested. At least that’s the case in my view. I’m very interested in your story and look forward to more. Thank you
I have an idea to stop this HIV-thing. So you all don’t need to nag anymore LOL. So, I promise, this nonsense about HIV will stop. ;)
Thanks lizmar, I don’t really know how it goes in the US but here in Belgium it can be announced where family is present maybe not girlfriends but I have heared that it can if the patient is okay with it… Thanks for your comment and the HIV stuff will go away in the next part… The rating is better this time so I’m happy again :D
Maybe your right JBtlw90 but then I will have to use a lot of ‘she said’ and stuff so I think that it will get boring that way but maybe I can try it in my next part? ;) Thanks for your comment. And jp22 I didn’t say that only to you. It was also a joke, I didn’t mean for it to sound like I didn’t appreciate your comment or that I wanted to offend you. Sorry if I did.
i agre with the others… the ratings is probably due to the HIV part of this story… maybe at her next blood test she will have no trace of the HIV… just because the knife had it doesn’t mean bette will have it… lets hope the doc’s were able to clean the areas and she will test HIV free… and if the ratings contiue to bother you… turn them off… its on the page you post… pps
Well, I wasn’t nagging… but okay. ciao
Hey, before anything else,I’m enjoying this story :) but I agree with what the others said about the ratings (even though I didn’t say it was deserved^^), and also (it’s just an advice, please don’t get offended), I think your writing would take a whole new level if the dialogues weren’t presented that way. You know: “Tina: xxxxxxxxxxxxxBette: xxxxxxxxxxxx ” That kind of presentation is only used for screenplays or theater plays, not for novels or other stuff. You should try to present it in a more natural way, like: Bette then said, “xxx”. Just my opinion, I think it would improve your already great stories. Anyway, thank you and please post soon :)