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All you need is love – chapter 55
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Helena nodded her eyes fixed firmly on Tina
“He says “I’m an alcoholic. I don’t have one drink.- I don’t understand people who have one drink. I don’t understand people who leave half a glass of wine on the table. I don’t understand people who say they’ve had enough. How can you have enough of feeling like this? How can you not want to feel like this longer? – My brain works differently.”
Tina let out a long breathe
“That’s me -when I am down on myself that’s me. When I feel better about myself the booze isn’t an issue because I don’t crave it. You think all alcoholics are the same and that’s wrong. I didn’t wake up this morning wanting a drink – you could lock me in this room for an hour with all those and I wouldn’t want one . But when I do want one – when the craving is acute – then I will drink anything – I hate gin. it’s a disgusting taste but if I was craving alcohol – then I would drink it. I am sure that Jodie has told you that last year I was a freaking mess. In truth I should have lost custody of the girls because I was such a nightmare “
“I find it hard to believe that Ollie let you off the hook “
“I know – it helped that Shane convinced him that if he pushed the point it would come out that he had been guilty of emotional torture. I am not sure how I kept custody of them – I am just glad that I did. The point is Helena that yes I was a freaking mess but look at me now – I am sober, I have lost about a stone in weight – I am eating well and sleeping well and so much of that is because of Bette and originally because of Jodie and Shane and Dana “
“Despite what you think of me Tina – I care more about Bette and the boys than I do about the books. I saw Bette go through hell when Emily died – she really believed that she would never fall for anyone – and then you turned up. I don’t want to see Bette hurt “
“Neither do I . Helena – I love Bette – I will do anything for her “
“Forgive me if I ask a straight question “
“Fire away “
“Are you only sober because of Bette – if you have a fight with her are you going to get inside a bottle again ?”
Tina picked a bit of fluff off her sweater
“No – I was sober before Bette turned up . If we split up then we would both fall apart “
“I never thought that Bette would threaten me with putting you before me “
“She regrets that and you have to know that she didn’t mean it . You are her family – you and Peggy mean everything to her “
“And so do you “
“So that means that surely you and I should be more tactful with how we deal with each other. Bette’s really upset – please come round and see her “
“What’s she doing – oh yeah – she’s writing “
“Helena – if you have a problem with me then talk to me – if you are concerned about my drinking come and tell me. Bette and I need to work on this and so do you and I “
Helena nodded “ Yes – you and I do need to sort a few things out. I guess I didn’t expect her to find someone new “
“Helena- I love her and I am good for her “
Helena nodded “ You are – but it scares me that she is so utterly obsessed you that she really would have gone ahead with her threat to stop speaking to me. You have a power over her Tina and frankly I would worry less if you stayed sober – you really could break her heart with very little trouble and I don’t know how I would pick up the pieces this time “
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hi ally, i’m happy you had sutch a great weekend, thx 4 the update and i can’t wait to read more
Hey AE, Good to have you back to this tantalizingly terrific tale. Sweet that you and GF enjoyed a fun and romantic filled weekend. Are there bells ringing in the distance future or would your Mom rather they were ringing in the near future. Wonder of civil partnerships. Any who, back to the drama. Bette and Tina, together, are just marvelous. They compliment each other and strengthen their connection at every turn. Having Bette and Helena go at it like cats and dogs was awesome. You could really see that they were both there fighting for their beliefs. Bette loves Tina with every fiber of her being and Helena feels the same for Bette. These are the times that end friendships forever as statements are made that cannot be undone or taken backk. Once let loose, like a ballon in the sky, they are free to float in and out of your life. Good things that the gals were too upset to take that final step and managed to avert near disaster. Shane was the perfect source of calm and reason for Bette. A confidante to hear everything that Bette was afraid of and wise teacher in the truth about Tina and her alcoholism. No matter what Bette says or does, this will always be there. It is how you deal with that, that makes the difference it your relationshiop. Then kudos as Tina took on Helena. This time tranquility reign and reason won through. Loved the Leo McGarry quote. I remember the scene when he was introduced to the White House AA group: powerful and heartwarming. A bit like Helena’s and Tina’s talk. Progress was make and both gals began to understand the other’s positioning and reasons for protecting Bette. I do hope this detante will last and we can get back to the sweet and sticky loving that is Bette and Tina in Your fine and creative hands. Scrupt them as you will. Many, many thanks for a wonderful update. Your Loyal Fan.
Interesting. I still think Helena needs to stay out of their relationship. Yes, she can be concerned about her friend. However, this isn’t HS. Everyone is an adult. If Bette is madly in love with Tina.. and at times to her detriment, let her be. You can’t police your friends’ relationships. And Tina isn’t out to hurt Bette. If things fell apart both would be more than ridiculously devestated about it. There are no guarantees with anything: life, love, staying sober. Let them work it out for themselves. Helena needs to learn to be Bette’s friend and not her mother.
What a surprise… it’s always great to find a post from you! This chappy was excellent and can’t wait for more! Good luck with your girl… glad things look good!
glad that your weekend was great mine was for shit. :D thanks for the update. to bad for tina, i can stop at one, but wont tonight. thanks.
Ally, glad you had a great weekend. Woman the way you write is so wonderful. Thank you PPVS
hi Ally, always happy to see you post. So glad you had a great weekend.
AllyE, wonderful chapter, been waiting for another chapter of this story. Thank you. Hate to see them having difficulties of any kind but, this is something that must be dealt with and it doesn’t have to kill the relationship. With love, patience and counseling Tina can conquer this disease because it is a disease and it must be taken in that vein. IT CAN BE DONE. And they must understand it is “one day at a time.” Their love can help them overcome anything together. Thanks for such a lovely story AllyE. PPS
Another great chapter Ally. I find it interesting to read about different perceptions of what an alcholic looks like, or heaven forbid we actually use the word alcoholic, choosing instead to explain this disease in any way they can without referring to the person as an alcoholic. Thanks for making us think about this!
Thanks for the update. This is still one of my favorite stories.
Oh you two….too damn cute! The story is still amazing, I’ve been HORRIBLE about commenting on it, I know, but you know you’ve always got a fan in me Ally! I’ll send ya back an e-mail soon Hun! Thanks for everything Mate! xx
Hel really should back off I know she is concerned for Bette but she’s got to let Bette deal with her relationship with Tina. I think they love each other enough that Tina would not hesitate to let Bette know if she was feeling overwelmed and in need of a drink. PPS
Good chapter. Good that Tina and Helena talk and now let see for Bette. Please post more, thanks!
great, great chapter Ally.
Bette needs to maybe step back and stop being on the defensive all the time. If she’s going to throw over her oldest friends for Tina, then she’s going to need to get used to not ever seeing anyone outside of Tina and the kids. Tina’s not perfect, and while it’s good that Bette loves her warts and all, she needs to understand that a) she’s not going to lose Tina if she doesn’t protect her from everything, be they stupid ex-es or her best friend’s concerned questions and b) there’s a life outside their relationship, and other people love them too. A part of me says for Helena to just leave them to it, but it’s not fair on the boys, who haven’t done anything to push Hels away and would suffer because of it. Helena maybe could have kept silent, but really, Bette owes Helena an apology. Anyway, thanks for the update, and I’m glad your weekend went so well. Cheers, ally
Glad you had a wonderful weekend!
Alcoholism is a terrible disease. People affected by it, usually hurt not only themselves, but those around them, too. Unfortunately, there is not a magic cure for it. People who get into rehab, only learn technics about how to control it. They require lots of support from their close family and with the appropriate therapy, they might be able to fight their own demons. However, only those who have inner strength, are able to overcome the hard path to recovery. Love plays a major role in this healing process. Tina is strong enough to accept she has a problem with alcohol and Bette’s love can be very helpful at this fragile and delicate time. Both need to reinforce their communication level and make sure that their trust is bold and solid. This way they might be able to tackle this illness and reaffirm a better future for their relationship. PPS Lucero & Marsha
I take back what I said before about Helena; sometimes people prejudge others without waiting fro more clarifications and I just did that but you know I could so easily blame it on the excitement that you trigger in us via your story, seriously I don’t know who is right on this, I mean I understand both point of views’ but still it’s sad what happened between two old friends, will you fix it Ally PLEASE; I don’t understand why Helena is so scared about what might happen if Tina had a problem seems a little skeptical. I am glad that you had a great weekend and I hope the coming one will be better.Love
Glad to hear that your weekend went well Ally! :) And thanks for a great update.
Bad move on Bette’s part. you can’t pick you gf over your best friend (even if it is true you don’t say it out loud). I agree w/ helena in this case and Bette needs to see that her dearest friend is just looking out for her best interest. Hopefully Bette and Helena can work things out; QUICKLY!