There is a picture on the mantle, a small framed black and white. At first glance it is a normal picture but to me it is so much more than that. A toothless smile, a loving embrace. Two faces so similar yet worlds apart, what I wouldnt give to live that day over and over again.

I look at that picture every day. I see the people in it, the place it represents and it always takes me back there. If I listen closely enough I can still hear the laughter, a sound once so comforting but now is just a distant memory. I run my finger over that picture and I can still feel his arms around me, holding me close and keeping me safe. There is a lifetime of memories in that picture.

I can still hear his voice, telling me all the things I did wrong and all the things I should have done instead. I hated him for that. I wished he wouldnt tell me those things. I was so stupid.

Ive shown that picture to many people. To my friends, to my family, even to Tina. I have shown that picture to anyone who will take the time to look at it. But they just dont understand. They see only the smiles and the happy faces. They dont see the rest.

They dont see the years of distance, of never quite being able to live up to what he wanted. They dont see the times when I would cry because I felt like I let him down. They dont see the days when my heart soared because he told me he was proud of me. But never I love you. That was never spoken. It didnt have to be because I saw it in everything he did.

He thinks that I dont know about the times he would look out for me, letting me run free only to run ahead and make sure the path was clear so that I wouldnt trip and fall. He thinks that I dont know about the times he would stay up all night and just watch me sleep, his little girl, his everything. He thinks that I dont know about the times when he would help me out, never taking credit for it, but always finding a way for me not to worry. He thinks that I dont know how much he loved me. He is wrong.

I learned so much from him. I am the person I have become because of him. I never got to tell him how much I loved him for that. I couldnt. I didnt know how.

I think back to my high school graduation and remember hearing how proud of me he was that day. A feeling of love and pride I will never forget. I think back to my college days, the best and worst times of my life. But through it all he was there if I ever needed. A question about politics, a question about math, a question about life. He always had the answer. He was the smartest person I know.

As I got older, he stopped being such a huge figure in my life, or so he thought. He tried to let me grow up, to become the woman that I am supposed to be. But what he doesnt understand is that I dont know how to do that without him. He set me free and all I wanted to do was turn around and run straight back into his arms forever. Nothing lasts forever.

To the outside world he was an ordinary man. A humble man who lived life day by day. To the outside world he was a father, a husband, and a brother. To the outside world he was just a human being. The outside world doesnt know *****.

There is a picture on the mantle, a small framed black and white. It is a picture of me and the man that I have loved my entire life. It is a picture that I hold dear to my heart because it is a representation of the everything I truly cherish and love. It is a picture of me and my father. It is the last picture I have because now he is gone.

I love you daddy.