Tina pulled out of the parking space and turned the car towards home. The top was down as it was a warm September afternoon, sun beginning to wane, but throwing a beautiful cast to the end of the day.

As she drove, Tina turned to look at Bette. Her head was resting against the seat rest, turned lazily to her right to watch the scenery go by. She reached over, tucking some of the errant curls behind Bettes ear, allowing her fingers to caress the side of her face.

Bette turned slightly and gave Tina a smile, saying nothing, and then returning her eyes to the passing view.

Not really sure how to read what Bette was thinking, she just continued to drive without saying anything, leaving Bette to her thoughts, hand dropping to her thigh to maintain contact with her.

In a matter of minutes, Tina pulled into their driveway. She put the car in park and shutting it off, turned to Bette, patiently waiting for her to look at her. Bette simply looked at their house, seemingly oblivious to Tina.

Hello? said Tina, moving her hand up to the back of Bettes head, massaging her neck.

Bette finally turned and looked at her.

Where are you? asked Tina softly.

Well, it has been a couple of months since I was last here, but I believe that this is our home teased Bette.

Thats not what I mean and you know it said Tina scoldingly, thumb slowly rubbing Bettes temple.

No, I guess its not what you meant said Bette, turning back towards the house, studying it as if it had been years since she had last seen it.

Are you ok? asked Tina, knowing that Bette was processing a multitude of emotions, just not sure exactly what they were.

Should we go in? asked Bette without answering Tinas question.

Tina continued to watch Bette and after a minute, just said, Sure.

They opened their doors and Bette grabbed her bag from the backseat. Tina came around and reaching for Bettes hand, led them up the front stairs. Once there, she got her keys from her bag and opening the front door, stepped to the side, allowing Bette to enter first.

Bette was immediately met by a barrage of emotions and sensations. This house that had for so long been a home, a safe haven created by the two of them, had over the last six months, become a prison to her. Every day that she returned here, the house became smaller and smaller, causing Bette to feel claustrophobic, leading to an urgent need for escape.

She knew that it was Tinas absence that had caused this transformation of their home. At first, Bette had thought that there was a chance that she would be able to live here until Tina returned to her, but the longer that Tina stayed away, the more she knew that the chances of her returning were becoming slimmer and slimmer, thereby further reducing her ability to remain here alone.

It was not a conscious action at first, but one day Bette noticed that she was leaving the house earlier in the morning and returning later in the evening. It got to the point where she was coming home, going straight to bed, waking 6-7 hours later to simply shower and then leave again.

No, this was not a home. It had become a hotel to her. A place for her to sleep, shower and change.

She did not entertain here, she had no meals here and ultimately, she had no life here. It was with Tinas departure that the possibility of life in this house exited right along with her.

It was at this point that she left, moving to New Yorkand nowshe was back.

Tina watched Bette closely, truly wondering what was going through her mind. Bette had barely made it across the threshold before she stopped, seemingly taking in the room around her, as if to determine exactly where she was and if it was safe.

After closing the door behind them, Tina walked around Bette, lightly resting her hand on the small of her back.

While still taking in the room around them, Bette softly said, How do you do it, T?

Do what, baby?

This she said, raising her arm, as if to present the room to a stranger.

Tina looked around, still not certain what it was that Bette was referring to.

Bette inhaled deeply, smelling what had not for so long been there, a living presence in this house. She took in the fresh cut flowers that Tina had brought in from the back yard, noticed the faint smell of a meal having been cooked in the kitchen, heard the faint whine of the dishwasher, the sound of the sprinklers watering the backyard.

This is what was missing she thought to herself, this is what I was not able to live without.

Tina slowly took the bag from Bettes hand.

Im gonna put this in the bedroom, ok baby?

Bette just nodded her head, releasing the bag to Tina.

Ill be right back, ok?

Sure, T she said, smiling weakly at her.

As Tina walked away, Bette slowly made her way through the kitchen, out the patio doors, to the backyard.

Looking around, she could already tell that things looked more normal. In the short time that Tina had been here, Bette could tell that she had worked out here, restoring their yard to the way that it was meant to be.

She stood there, arms crossed in front of her, thinking about all of the times in the last 6 months, that she had wished for this view, plants and flowers, shrubs and bushes cut and manicured in the way that Tina had them, not the way that the yardman believed that they were intended.

She had walked out here one Saturday morning months ago, to find Earl shaping one of the bushes that sat at either end of the herb garden. He was trimming it in such a way that was making it grow differently than how Tina had maintained them.

Wait she had said across the yard.

Startled, Earl stopped what he was doing, looking at Bette, waiting for her to continue.

She walked across the yard to him and said almost accusatorily, Thats not the way that they are supposed to be.

Oh, Im sorry, Ms. Porter he said apologetically. How are they supposed to be?

Bette stood there for a minute and realized that she didnt know how they were supposed to be, she couldnt remember.

Earl looked at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.

Bette finally looked at him and said, Im sorry, I uh…

She said nothing else and while slowly backing away said, Im sorry to interrupt, please, just continue what you were doing.

She turned and walked away, leaving Earl to wonder what that had been all about. He simply shrugged his shoulders and returned to what he had been doing.

Bette never interjected again.

Deep in thought as she was, she did not hear Tina walk up behind her. Tina had watched Bette from the doorway, noticing the way that she was holding her shoulders, knew that she was deep in thought and it appeared not to be a pleasant one.

She wrapped her arms around Bettes waist, pulling her back slightly, encouraging her to rest some of her weight against Tina.

But Bette felt stiff as a board. She wrapped her arms around her more tightly, feeling slight tremors pass through her body.

Hey she said, moving around to face her, alarmed that Bette was crying.

Whats going on? she asked, scared to see tears pouring down Bettes face.

Bette said nothing, just continued to look out at the yard, her own arms wrapped tightly around her body.

Baby, look at me said Tina, taking Bette’s face between her hands, guiding it until she was forced to look at Tina.

Bette, whats going on? she pleaded. You need to talk to me, baby, please.

Bette said nothing, just allowing the memories of the emptiness of this house flash in front of her eyes as if it had been yesterday.

Tina saw the pain in her eyes and wished with her entire being the ability to remove it.

Baby, I cant help you unless you tell me whats going on she whispered, one hand softly massaging Bettes back, while the other wiped the tears falling down her face.

I, uh she softly started.

Tina leaned in so that she could hear what it was that she was saying.

Bette took a deep breath and said, I used to come out her, T.

Uh huh she said, trying to look into Bettes eyes that were roaming the yard.

I used to try and remember things the way that you had them she said, tears rolling down her face.

Tina continued to hold her but said nothing, wanting Bette to get this out.

I would come out here and try and remember how you had things cause I wanted everything to stay the same she softly cried.

Tina just watched her, her own tears forming at just watching the pain that Bette was in.

Bette looked at the ground between their feet, took a deep breath and said, And then it got too hard.

What baby, what got too hard? Coming out here?

Noremembering she whispered, finally looking at Tina, eyes begging for forgiveness for forgetting.

I couldnt remember anymore, T she cried. I swear, I tried. I swear to God, I tried. But I couldnt, I just couldnt remember anymore.

Oh, baby said Tina as she pulled Bette into her arms, holding on to her while slowly rocking her.

Bette continued to cry, unable to stop the emotions that were coursing through her. The sadness at losing what they had had with this home, the feeling of ineptitude at not being able to maintain it, the guilt that she felt over everything, and the ultimate feeling of abandonment from everything and everyone that she had once known and loved, washed through her.

Tina felt Bettes sobs gaining strength and just held on.

Let it out, baby, cmon, just let it all out she whispered soothingly into Bettes ear, holding her tightly.

Im right her, Bette and Ill always be here with you. Thats my, girl, let it go. Its gonna be ok. Were ok, baby. Youre safe, baby. Nothings gonna happen to you. Im here now, Bette and Im not going anywhere.

Bette heard Tinas words and wanted to believe them. She wanted to believe that she was safe and that Tina would always be there for her. She had believed that in New York, why would this be any different?

This is the scene of the crime she thought to herself.

It had been one thing to be in New York, working through the problems that had led to the end of their relationship, but it was all together something else to be back in this house, here in LA, tackling these demons head on.

This hurt and it was raw.

It wasnt Tina that had stayed in this house, feeling all of the loss piling up around her, trying to maintain an existence in what had once been their home, walking through the front door every night to an absolute sense of nothingness. She was not the one that walked into a shell of what had been their life together, now, nothing left to give and nothing left to take.

Bette stepped back from Tina and took a deep breath.

Im sorry, Tina.

Baby, why are you apologizing? You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for she said, not even trying to hide the emotion in her voice.

Bette felt empty and she felt tired. She looked at Tina and wondered if she could truly understand the pain that she was going through right now.

Tina watched Bette looking at her and was unclear as to what she was thinking.

Bette dropped her eyes and turned to look out at the yard again. She wondered if this house would ever be the same for her again.

Tina watched Bette, saw the way that she crossed her arms in front of her chest, almost in protection and wondered what she could do to reach her, to reach the pain.

As difficult as it had been for her to return to this house, she had not thought about how Bette would react to coming back, returning to their home with Tina a part of her life again.

The silence stretched out between the two women and Tina just continued to watch Bette, waiting for her to make a move, not wishing to rush her.

Bette knew that Tina was wondering what was going through her head, but she didnt have the strength to explain it all.

Later she thought to herself.

She turned to Tina and saw the worried expression on her face.

You know that youre gonna get wrinkles if you frown that way Bette teased, half-heartedly smiling at Tina, trying to lighten the mood.

Tina did not return the smile, just continued to watch Bette.

Are you going to talk to me? Tina asked.

Im talking to you right now, T smiled Bette.

Bette- she said.

Im tired, T she interrupted. I feel filthy from traveling and am in need of food and a glass of wine she smiled at Tina, this time, the smile reaching her eyes.

Tina watched her, knowing that Bette was right and that this was not the time to pursue this conversation.

Bette reached her hand over to Tinas face and cupping her neck, massaged her cheek with her thumb.

This simple gesture alone was enough to calm Tinas agitation and knew that whatever Bette was upset about, they would work through together.

She reached up, taking Bettes hand in her own and pulled her into her.

I love you Bette she whispered, eyes looking intently into Bettes.

Bette smiled gently and said, I know, and I love you too.

The two women pulled each other into their arms, and just stood there, wrapped up in the warmth and closeness of the other, neither speaking, both just listening to the sounds of the early evening turning into night.

Tina pulled back and reached for Bettes hand.

Cmon, baby she said, turning to lead them back into the house.

As they walked through the doors, Bette paused, slowly turning, taking one last glance at the yard, and closing the doors behind her, turned back to follow Tina.